Long Time D1 Coach thinking of Hanging it UP because-WOKE is too much

coachingProbs wrote:

yup, that's true wrote:

that's a lot of "I" and 'me". You sound bitter and selfish, and seem to have forgotten that the coach is there to serve the athletes. They'll be better off without you.

I feel like this is hurtful. I'm not being supported for my feelings and aspirations of helping people. You all are NOT here for the athlete but you are here to hurt me and that is a sign that bullies have no place in this sport!!! Stop being mean and realize that my mental health matters! STOP OBJECTIVIFYING me!!!!

There it is.

5/10

Lol why would anyone have thought this weak bait was real?

You are incorrect. Many athletes would be offended by your first question.

Yes, please leave the sport and mow lawns you snowflake. Then you can blame the lawn mowera when your customers are unsatisfied instead of taking personal responsibility for your failings.

D1 program? A good one? What you describe is more MS or HS level. We need to be part of the movement that is physical activity. Its not hard to separate serious runners from rec athletes. Just encourage them. But if you are in D1 (college) and have rec athletes something is wrong or jts a very low level program. Scholarship athletes at D1 programs are not usually slackers. weird.

coachingProbs wrote: "I don't like running actually... so I'm going to show my worth through tearing the Fing department and team apart by exposing it for being abusive and yada yada yada."

It's too much to deal with. I mentored a former runner who is now a coach and he is part of the woke movement and sent me a text complaining about kids trying to get out of practice because of "weather" even though it was harmless. hahaha Anyway. I think I'd rather mow lawns and make more than this crappy job.

vent sessions complete.

You are not alone and what I've quoted above is unfortunately accurate. Very little personal ownership anymore and a lot of abdication. But consider how much of this is generational and whether your inability to bridge the communication gap between you and your athletes factors into all of this? Millennials are a special bunch and I repeatedly find out I've offended them after having what I perceived as calm, rational interactions. I know several people involved in college sports who feel the same and have hung them up due to pressure from woke students and/or admin. It's frustrating, but if we pride ourselves on our communication skills, we need to make honest efforts to get better as well.

coachingProbs wrote:

OK So this morning at practice I met with one of the guys. We had a nice chat about coach/athlete relationship. I took to heart a lot of the posters saying I'm a bad coach and so- after dedicating so much to the sport and the team I knew I was just upset at the changing times and needed to be better for the ones who I wasn't connecting with.... to be better for the whole team- not just the ones I prefer. So I started with one of them today and we had a good talk that seems to be a good step forward. Thank you for helping me be better and reminding me what really is important.

This has been a depressing thread, but I'm genuinely glad you took that step. I got into the business as a head coach at probably too young an age but always found that sitting down with a kid and really hearing them out and getting a dialogue going so they could also see my perspective was enough to break down any issues along the way.

Some kids absolutely needed to have that talk more often to keep both them and me on the same page, but the team and quality of life improvement was night and day. Some athletes just need to get cut out. That has been pretty rare for me fortunately, but you know when it's needed and it's never been a bad decision.

I hope coaches don't all jump on the bandwagon that "this generation..." People are people. Be honest, be fair, and connect with them so they can understand you. Our sport isn't "fun" enough to just show up and not care. 99% of kids want to be good. Occasionally they need to be reminded that we ask for a certain level of effort and commitment to make those good things happen.

coachingProbs wrote:

OK So this morning at practice I met with one of the guys. We had a nice chat about coach/athlete relationship. I took to heart a lot of the posters saying I'm a bad coach and so- after dedicating so much to the sport and the team I knew I was just upset at the changing times and needed to be better for the ones who I wasn't connecting with.... to be better for the whole team- not just the ones I prefer. So I started with one of them today and we had a good talk that seems to be a good step forward. Thank you for helping me be better and reminding me what really is important.

UPDATE: So now I'm feeling good about my day after speaking to the above mentioned athlete and then during lunch my team captain comes into the office to chat "team bonding" and completely blindsides me with this notion that I don't do ENOUGH FOR THEM for team bonding!! Why can't they do this stuff on their own? My contract doesn't say "have 4 team bonding events per year" Why are these kids so helpless that that need me to bond with each other and inform me IM NOT DOING ENOUGH!?

This day went from bad to good to horrible and we haven't even made it to weights training. ugh

I’m glad you brought this up.

1) Many DI programs will not let you cut anymore. Yes, you read that right. And not just the low level ones…I’ve been at 3 P5’s which essentially made it impossible to cut women (because they needed Title IX numbers and the admin was terrified of them) & waaay more trouble than it was worth to cut men (hearings upon hearings, mountains of paperwork, all for a “outside panel” to likely reinstate them over your head. Yes, even walk ons. The 2 mid majors I worked at actually made it a little easier since they were lower profile (less social media blowback) but still high degrees of the same dynamic. If you’re going to cut a kid, you better make damn sure they are a menace to society & ideally have been in serious legal trouble.

2) I talk to every high school coach of a kid I accept on the team. Very few of them are honest with me because they’re so terrified of the parents and their admin. Once in a great while I get a high school/club coach who’s willing to let me read through the lines. God bless you folk.

DI no longer means what you think it means. We are only there for Title IX and diversity numbers. And most importantly, do not make your boss’s job more complicated. Especially at higher profile P5’s.

I coached 19 years, with 11 years Division 1. Can’t imagine it now. Twenty-six years ago I applied for a job at a woke school. I was the most qualified applicant, the job went to a woman with little experience. I was viewed as too regimented. Today? Geez.

I think this is a troll thread but it pertains to a very real concern among coaches.

This generation of student athletes is different. They will proactively try to get their coaches fired for essentially no reason. I know a female coaching D3 out West got fired for calling the women's team "girls" instead of women or ladies.

It's more coddling than it is coaching.

Wow you get triggered easily. Did you get a lot of participation trophies growing up?

“Waaah I can’t abuse my athletes without facing consequences. Waaah.”

Who are you , Centro Senior? Cantello? Urban Meye?

"Do not make your boss's job more complicated" has been good advice for a lot longer than today's athletes have been around. Surprised you see that as an example of today's problems.

zikes wrote:

I think this is a troll thread but it pertains to a very real concern among coaches.

This generation of student athletes is different. They will proactively try to get their coaches fired for essentially no reason. I know a female coaching D3 out West got fired for calling the women's team "girls" instead of women or ladies.

It's more coddling than it is coaching.

Of course it’s a troll thread and of course you think it’s the fault of women needing to be coddled.

Hmm... wrote:

"Do not make your boss's job more complicated" has been good advice for a lot longer than today's athletes have been around. Surprised you see that as an example of today's problems.

Of course. Except my boss’s job used to be “compete at a high level.” That is no longer their job. It is in every coach’s best interest to recognize that change in their boss’ job description.

Solid troll 2 start, but you went too far here. 2/10.

Sounds like you should retire & give up a decent paying job to somebody who would relate well to "the youths."

NERunner03533 wrote:

Sounds like you should retire & give up a decent paying job to somebody who would relate well to "the youths."

Seriously. This guy is crying about his inability to connect and communicate with his athletes, WHICH IS THE ENTIRE JOB.

Don’t like it? Then find a new job!

You sound unhinged. Decent troll though. Title gives it away though. Work on that.

There really are people out there like this....that are so mentally unstable and insecure that they view an IG post of "My voice counts! " a threat. My gawd....imagine the kind of tool that thinks like that. Borderline paranoid delusional. When they see a post of "I like cake!" do they think it means" F-ck You!"

You're coaching an intramural school sport. You are there to support the athletes and help them have a better overall scholastic experience. If you're doing weird/abusive/misogynist things .... ..go mow lawns.

When a dog barks at you pushing your mower...you'll still hear "F_ck You, Coach! F_ck you!"