Post-nuptial shutoff?

yes, the man being a mind reader shows a woman how much he cares

Wow, you tough, yetanotherchick. Sorry you don't relate to the feminine gender.

Girl Next Door wrote:

I know some people won't like hearing this, but its true: Women don't want to have to tell men what to do to make them happy. They want the men to think of it themselves - that is what shows the woman that the man really cares. Otherwise, every time he does it, in her mind she will think: "He is only doing this because I asked him to."

I think you have a very good point and goes back to my statement about how sesitive men are about not feeling like they are the best lay you've ever had. how many guys can honestly handle "that was okay but i'd like to do more of yyy" and not feel lame?

...and how many women, who were conditioned to think that they aren't supposed to want and enjoy it like men do feel comfortable with providing feedback??

and you wonder why there is a shutoff?

Every cosmo/glamour headline has something to do about what women can do to turn their men on. So let me get this straight, women are supposed to read magazines and try out new ideas and ask for feedback while men are supposed to get an instruction sheet from their woman that they really don't want to read because "why would *i* need instructions"?

i would bet that there are magazines that men can read, give the ideas a try ask for feedback it and be willing to accept an honest response and change things up. i think this is what GND is asking for and i would completely agree.

hear that men, the solution to your sex life lives in high quality magazines such as cosmothe reason that no one writes about how to please your woman is because it is much more complicated i think and varies considerably from woman to woman (hence the need to COMMUNICATE) men are fairly straight forward in how to turn 'on'she comes first was a decent attemt, if you really don't want to communicate at least pass him that book

Wow, this thread has a chance of challenging Rono's for letsrun.com supremacy.Anyway, I agree that GND brings up a good point with the, "Women don't want to have to tell men what to do to make them happy. They want the men to think of it themselves - that is what shows the woman that the man really cares. Otherwise, every time he does it, in her mind she will think: 'He is only doing this because I asked him to.'"The problem is that it is only valid in the first couple of years of the relationship. After that you get what you deserve or another way to put it, you only get out of it what you put in to it (no pun intended). GND you are getting what you deserve, a crappy, sexless marriage. I don't mean that in a mean spirited way either. I know some men who like to play that relationship game it seems to make them feel good about themselves. Most of those relationships end up badly but some can play those games for a lifetime.In this case GND is obviously married to the wrong guy. She needs to get a divorce and find someone else who will play her game long enough for her to enjoy it.Also I like the point about a compliment every day. My wife and I used to have a deal that we had to say something nice about each other once per day. Now 3 kids later and busy as hell we've gotten away from it. Fortunately I'm not shut off but I started the compliments two days ago and have noticed an up tick in her mood. I mean just this morning I complimented her thusly, "Honey, you're still hot even though you've got mastitis!"

Did it ever occur to you that maybe your husband WANTS you to be happy? And what would be so horrible if you told him how to do that? As a species humans are not at the point of mind reading yet. Clue him in!!

56789 wrote:

This sounds perfect in theory but how many of you guys want to hear that you need to "up your game" from a woman? You tell him what you want and his ego is bruised and backs off cause he thinks he's the bomb!

So, tell me how you a woman can tell a man that he is not satisfying her in bed without him feeling like crap?

"You know what I'd really like...." is a good start.

It works with me all the time. For most men...just the fact that the woman is interested is very attractive.

Then find a mind reader to marry or else come to your senses and tell your husband....particularly if it involves assisting with housework. If it's an issue in you being romanced you may have to drag that out of him also.

You are absolutely right. You do have to work hard and you don't appear to be doing so by simply accepting the fact that your husband doesn't know what to do yet you won't tell him.

Frankly....that's pretty stupid....or you really don't care.

I agree but you don't seem to be doing anything about it.

Ok some of you would score very marginally on the reading comprehension portion of a test. I already said I HAVE talked to him about. Honestly, I wasn't intending to make this thread all about me - really I'm not just some selfish woman. I was merely trying to maybe shed some light on why some women might be shutting off. My husband is actually a pretty hilarious guy whom I enjoy doing a lot of things with - we have a lot in common - but the sex part of the marriage is really where it should be. I'm not giving up, it could get better, please don't worry about me and focus on your own relationships - your energy is better spent there.

just read the past three pages. Fascinating stuff really. For the most part, it seemed that it was just women talking to each other, which seems impossible since this is Letsrun. Regardless, my gf tells me all sorts of things that she wants me to do and guess what? I do them! I know it sounds weird, or sounds like it might be some big blow to my ego (which it can be, at times), but that really just makes me want to go at it harder next time. If she didn't tell me what to do, but was just angry all the time that I wasn't doing what she wanted, that would kinda blow.

and letsrun husband, keep it up. I"m interested in these results.

midwesta wrote:

and letsrun husband, keep it up. I"m interested in these results.

Nothing much to speak of yet, 2 days into my experiment. Tried to work a quickie this morning but ended up getting a "hand" instead. She's been sad about her friend who got bad news about her cancer. Just another way men and women are wired differently. This really wouldn't stop any man from being in the mood. Probably not the best time for me to start this though she has been in a better mood all around. Maybe it's helping her cope better with her friend's news.

No compliments yet this morning but looking for windows of opportunity

Letsrun husband wrote:

midwesta wrote:

and letsrun husband, keep it up. I"m interested in these results.

Nothing much to speak of yet, 2 days into my experiment. Tried to work a quickie this morning but ended up getting a "hand" instead. She's been sad about her friend who got bad news about her cancer. Just another way men and women are wired differently. This really wouldn't stop any man from being in the mood. Probably not the best time for me to start this though she has been in a better mood all around. Maybe it's helping her cope better with her friend's news.

No compliments yet this morning but looking for windows of opportunity

According to my betrothed she needs to be in a very relaxed state to want to have sex. Kids need to be settled...at least in the house or whichever friends house that they are staying at. Housework has to be done, etc. She can't be aggravated about anything. This isn't as difficult as it sounds. In general this allows for a couple of times a week with maybe the occasional quickie as a favor to me. I will say that when she's in a relaxed state she is really into it.

God's gift to women:

http://www.amazon.com/Vibratex-HV-250R-Hitachi-Magic-Massager/dp/B00005M1WE

Help her get off and then incorporate yourself back into the mix.

You married guys: how do you deal with THAT TIME which occurs every 28 days or so?

Seriously?

I worked in an office, predominately full of women, several of them got pregnant at one time or another and it led to discussions on various subjects.

The above was addressed more than once. Yes it happens, but it just grosses me out to a degree that makes me want to embrace lifelong celibacy with great enthusiasm. It's just a complete and utter turning off of the switch.

Any other guys get that reaction?

I'm totally serious, please.

Thanks.

Just accept that it happens, I guess.

The dreaded 'red tide'.

I'm a lifelong bachelor, had two significant relationships.

This thread is really making me feel terrific about my decisions to end those aforementioned relationships.

God Bless all husbands. Man, I don't know how you guys manage it.

dude you have a problemit is a biological function, get over itjust a fact of life

Gastronicus wrote:

You married guys: how do you deal with THAT TIME which occurs every 28 days or so?

Seriously?

I worked in an office, predominately full of women, several of them got pregnant at one time or another and it led to discussions on various subjects.

The above was addressed more than once. Yes it happens, but it just grosses me out to a degree that makes me want to embrace lifelong celibacy with great enthusiasm. It's just a complete and utter turning off of the switch.

Any other guys get that reaction?

I'm totally serious, please.

Thanks.