My Son Ryan Shay

Mr Shay,

Your son lived in my house in Flagstaff for much of the past year, before he and Alicia got married and moved down the street. It was my honor to know him, and he will never, ever be forgotten here in Flag or anywhere else.

When Shay moved in a year ago he was exactly the character I'd been hearing about before ever meeting him. He ran hard everyday, he was "workhorse" as we'd call him. It wasn't just his running, he was outspoken and he was ferocious: in his first month here I watched him disassemble more than one appliance, curse and stomp around trying to fix it, take it apart, curse more, and on and on and on. He also demanded fairness: he had no problem calling any product or service's "customer service department", one day in the living room hearing him heated on the phone when he thought he was being scammed on a bill, I heard Shay say "Well, I want you to know you'll be hearing from my legal team about this" when he hung up I laughed, "legal team?" He smiled, there was no legal team and he knew it. They fixed the problem.

And I got to watch him train the way we'll always hear stories about. Charging through a dark and windy winter, coming back to the house making noises all broken and battered. Hearing the splits and workouts, the rest of us would wonder how we could get there. He trained with ferocity that I have never seen, I was alone with him at 9000 feet here as he screamed at the sky one tough run, I'll never forget it. There was a lot of emotion in his work, his whole self was inside each run.

But the real Ryan Shay I want to write to you about is who I saw when Alicia arrived to the house in January. You meet pairs of people so rarely in this life that make you stop and wonder how they could ever be without the other. This was the completion to Ryan, and this was the completion to Alicia. I was so lucky to experience this: the toughest person I had ever met, slowly take down his walls. And finally with her he was what he fought for in all those runs and in all that strength, with her he was finally perfect, he was whole, the balance was now complete. At night you would hear him give her concerts. They'd eat together, talking quietly while cooking. She'd challenge him on his brashness. He was a little boy around her, in awe and lovestruck and humility. It was the missing side of him I had yet to see, and was so happy to once I did.

I was in the race with him on Saturday, and remember thinking when he was joking with me before the start how far "workhorse" had come, and how it would be nice when we all got back to town after all this was over. I remember him smiling and then Phil stretching him out, it's not a bad last memory.

You should know your son spoke of Michigan "his favorite place to train" and his family often. You were very much a part of his life here. Thank you for raising the son we were so lucky to know, even briefly. In Flagstaff, we'll keep running his favorite loops, where all his sweat lay in the paths. And someday I'll tell my children about Ryan Shay when I teach them about toughness and character, heart, and love.

Mike Smith

Flagsaff, AZ

Alicia and the rest of the Shay family, I am truly sorry for your loss. I never met Ryan or Alicia but have followed their running careers. It is obvious that Ryan was an outstanding person. Alicia, my heart breaks for you, I cannot begin to understand what you must be going through at this time. I will be cheering loudly for you in Eugene next year.

The Shay Family,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. What a tremendous inspiration Ryan is for so many. The world and running community has been blessed by his presence.

The Stanko's

What a beautiful message and words of rememberance. The running world is small. May your memory be positive in time for all your friends, family and loved ones. You found love before you left us, that is nice to hear. Peace out brother. X

Saturday, November 10.

I did run for Ryan today. I feel connected to him because of running marathons, and my love for Michigan.

I stopped at the shore of Lake Michigan this morning, and looked out over the lake. I pictured Ryan running over the waves and up into the sky, with wings on his feet.

Godspeed Ryan.

Mr. Shay

I did not know Ryan personally, but like so many others, I have been shocked and saddened by his death. I live near New York's Central Park, and there is a heartfelt impromptu memorial there in honor of your son. That area of the park is a calming and soothing place, the park itself, an oasis from the hustle and bustle of the city. I will think of Ryan often during my future runs there and will say a little prayer for him. I have read some great things about Ryan (including the wonderful posting I have just "replied" to) which shows what a stand-up guy he was, an inspiration he was to all of us as both a phenomenal runner, and as a good person. He is a tribute to you and your family and I know that so many in the New York running community feel his loss ever so deeply. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mrs. Shay, with Ryan's siblings, his wife Alicia, and his friends. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I definitely looked up to Ryan as an athlete. I came to ND the fall after he won his National title and immediately was witness to his unrelenting drive and uncompromising work ethic. I strived to be as tough and "want it" as much as Ryan. By the end of my freshman year though, I also looked up to Ryan as a person. He consistently demonstrated the highest moral and ethical standards that made me proud to know him. For example, at Mt Sac some of the guys were getting ready to race a 10K and one popped a couple Tylenol "to help with pain of the race". Ryan turned to him and said: "Dude, don't take that shit -- that's like cheating".

Ryan was a great teammate and I can only imagine what a wonderful husband, son and brother he was. My thoughts are with all of you.

Lauren King

i wish to express my condolences to the shay family.

i never met ryan, but i remember when i ran aau cross country nationals as a high school junior in joplin, mo (same age as ryan). ryan won in some phenomenal time (15:29?) and from then on i was awed by him and followed his career. my heart goes out to you and your family.

karl gilpin

I never met Ryan but it is clear from all the posts, he touched so many in a very personal and inspiring way. He will not be forgotten. Wishing the Shay Family peace and happy memories of a very fine young man.

Skip

Alicia, Mr. and Mrs. Shay:

I did not know Ryan, and I cannot even begin to comprehend your emotions right now. But I sincerely hope you can take comfort in how Ryan has inspired so many individuals to go after their dreams and live life to the fullest extent that they can.

I wish you peace. The grace and compassion you have demonstrated this week has sustained so many people. My hope is that people will always continue to lift you up. And Ryan up. His memory will live on.

Alicia, Mr and Mrs Shay.

Ryan will be missed but never forgotten. He was an inspiration to me. My thoughts and feelings are expressed in this poem I wrote about Ryan.

When I first heard the news, I immediately sank into a state of the blues.

I started to cry, asking God - Why Ry?

It doesn't seem fair, don't you care?

" He was Running, and knew Love, Yes! I was watching from above"

From the start, Ryan was all heart.

I can't stop thinking of Ryan and those last few strides of

how he might of felt,

Not knowing the bad hand he soon would be delt.

So young and full of life at 28, None of us really knowing our own true fate.

So run the race, work hard, do your best everyday, that's Ryan's story...the truth be told,

Now He's forever Running on the streets of Gold.

November 3rd, 2007,

Someday Ryan, I'll get to run with you in Heaven.

P.E.H

Alicia, Mr and Mrs Shay.

Ryan will be missed but never forgotten. He was an inspiration to me. My thoughts and feelings are expressed in this poem I wrote about Ryan.

When I first heard the news, I immediately sank into a state of the blues.

I started to cry, asking God - Why Ry?

It doesn't seem fair, don't you care?

" He was Running, and knew Love, Yes! I was watching from above"

From the start, Ryan was all heart.

I can't stop thinking of Ryan and those last few strides of

how he might of felt,

Not knowing the bad hand he soon would be delt.

So young and full of life at 28, None of us really knowing our own true fate.

So run the race, work hard, do your best everyday, that's Ryan's story...the truth be told,

Now He's forever Running on the streets of Gold.

November 3rd, 2007,

Someday Ryan, I'll get to run with you in Heaven.

P.E.H

Dear Alicia, Mr. & Mrs. Shay,

My heart breaks for you loss. I too have walked down this road and I understand your pain. I have used running as a way to cope and my prayer for you is that you keep running for Ryan. He sounds like an awesome individual. I hope the following poem can provide you the same comfort that it provided me. God Bless you. JR

When tomorrow starts without me,

and I'm not there to see;

If the sun should rise and find your eyes,

all filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry,

the way you did today,

while thinking of the many things,

we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,

as much as I love you,

and each time that you think of me,

I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,

please try to understand,

that an Angel came and called my name,

and took me by the hand,

and said my place was ready,

in heaven far above,

and that I'd have to leave behind,

all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,

a tear fell from my eye,

for all life, I'd always thought,

I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,

so much yet to do,

it seemed almost impossible,

that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,

the good ones and the bad,

I thought of all the love we shared,

and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,

just even for awhile,

I'd say goodbye and kiss you

and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,

that this could never be,

for emptiness and memories,

would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,

I might miss come tomorrow,

I thought of you, and when I did,

my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,

I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me,

from His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,

and all I've promised you".

Today for life on earth is past,

but here it starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,

but today will always last,

and since each day's the same day,

there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,

so trusting and so true.

Though there were times you did some things,

you knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven

and now at last you're free.

So won't you take my hand

and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,

don't think we're far apart,

for every time you think of me,

I'm right here, in your heart. by David M. Romano

Ryan's entire "Falmouth Family" sends its heartfelt sympathy to your family. Ryan was always a most welcome visitor to our race and town.

Rich and Kathy Sherman

Lucia and John Carroll, co-directors

RIP Ryan

You are an inspiration to us all...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Gob bless and I wish your family the best, I will be praying for you

when i go don't cry for me

i'll be home and i'll be running free.

northern michigan runners had an idol, an example, a role model for what hard work and dedication can accomplish. our condolences to the Shay family and his wife.

My thoughts go out to you all. Ryan was a great athlete.