My Son Ryan Shay

I saw Ryan Shay run just one time in person. It was at the end of last year's Twin cities Marathon. Ryan's stride at the end of the marathon was amazing, you could tell in his face that he was very tire, but his stride was perfect. I was amazed at how strong and built his quads were and how his feet were nearly kicking his butt. For someone to have a stride that hadn't broken down in the least bit at the end of a marathon is truly rare. He ran like an angel.

I remember seeing hime later that night on the roof of the Brit Pub where some of my running buddies were enjoying a game of lawn bowling. My friend pointed Ryan out to me, but I was afraid to talk to him because I was in complete awe of the man.

Dear Alicia, Mr. and Mrs. Shay and Family,

This terribly hard to write at this moment but I know it does not compare to the emtions that you are going through right now. I wanted to write this sooner but I wanted to gather my thoughts before I write about your husband, son and brother. So I want to take this time to share how Ryan has touched my family here in Alamosa.

My family has a special bond with Ryan that we will never forget and will live with us forever. I first met Ryan in Mammoth, CA in the Fall of 2002. He was out of college pursuring his professional running career. I learned right away that Ryan was dedicated, disciplined and motivated to reach his potential. Those are the kind of people that achieve greatness and strive for it. As Coach Vigil would say" He who would ignite a fire in others must himself glow." Ryan definitely GLOWED! I could also see his character of loyality, humbleness and compassion for others. He befriended me and I likewise did the same.

Fastforward about 8 months later. Spring and Summer of 2003. Ryan comes out in May to Alamosa to train and live with me and my family. At the time my wife and I had two boys Isaiah,5, Elijah 3. I am not telling you what you don't already know but Ryan had this charisma that attracted me, my wife and my boys. His hard work in his training also showed around the house. He never hesitated to help around the house or play with the boys. He especially loved playing with the boys and they loved him. As I reminisce about training with Ryan that summer I cannot forget how we pushed each other to the limit whether it was mile repeats, 3k's on the roads or runs at Rock Creek or Ft. Garland. We trained, we ate, we laughed and he became a great friend to me and my family that summer. When Ryan departed that summer we were sad to see him leave,especially the boys who became attached to Ryan. He went to run in the World Championships that summer but when he left we had a little going away party with frieds who were runners also and Ryan was more than gracious to take pictures and talk with them one last time before he departed.

I could go into detail about Ryan and write page after page, story after story of how he inspired us all that summer and every opportunity I was able to talk with him after that summer , but we all know how he was and it was a honor to know him. He left a mark on all that he encountered and he will live on in our lives forever. When I heard the news that Saturday morning my body froze up, tears came down my checks because not only did I lose a friend but a fellow brother. You see my bond with Ryan that summer grew so tight that we became brothers like so many runners we become family and the bond is unbreakable. Ryan also became what we call here in Alamosa a Vigilante. When you run for Coach Vigil you become part of a brotherhood of runners a tradition that stretches for decades.

I finally had the courage to tell my oldest son who is nine now that Ryan had past. When I told I did not expect the reaction that proceeded. His little lip began to quiver and tears poured down his face. I did not think he would remember that well who Ryan was, but that goes to show you the impact Ryan had on a little boy who was only five years old. My wife, Isaiah and I were looking at the pictures we took that summer with Ryan and tears swelled up again, but they were tears of joy because to know Ryan was truely a joy. Here is a link if you would like to see those picures,enjoy because I know we did.

http://community.webshots.com/album/561344108ROJkXh

So to Alicia, Mr and Mrs. Shay and Family before I cry myself to sleep, thank you for sharing Ryan with us. He will always have and special place in our home and our hearts. May the Lord Jesus confort you in this time sorrow and may He lift you up and carry you in this painful time.

Love and Prayers,

The De La Cerda's

Mr. Shay, Alicia, and family - I was at Notre Dame at the same time as Ryan, and although I didn't know him personally, I remember reading about him in the Observer regularly. Please accept my deepest condolences for your tragic loss. God bless, and know that the ND family is grieving with you.

As with most people on this thread I too have been through hours of tears over Ryan's passing. Initially it was tears of udder sadness. But with each passing day my tears have become tears of joy. HIs life was a gift to all of us whether we have known him for a lengthy period of time or have only heard of him through the tragic news of this week. Ryan had a flame burning in him that clearly lit the way in his life and for any of us that have witnessed that flame we are truly blessed. As with any gift we have a choice to either use what has been given to us, wherever our talents and devotions lie, and let that flame burn brighter or to let it die out. To honor Ryan and the gift we have been given I think there is only one reasonable answer. To all that have been touched in one way or another stand with me and as tears continue to fall let us give applause to his life and say thank you dear friend.

Mr. Shay, Alicia, & family:

Although I did not know Ryan personally, I did have the opportunity to race against him many times. I was always in awe of his toughness and drive. He was a true example of what it takes to be successful not only in sport, but in life. God Bless.

Alicia, Mr. and Mrs. Shay, Ryan's siblings, other family and friends - the graciousness you've shown during this time of heartbreaking loss is the most touching tribute Ryan could possibly receive. May his memory remain a blessing and source of comfort for you.

Deepest condolences.

The running community is tight. With almost no media attention, we still keep track of our running family. I want to send a condolence and my prayers to Ryan's family and wife. Running is a sport of tearing down and anguish followed by recovery and further strengthening. Sometimes it's scary how much real life is so similar. I am deeply sorrowful and pained for your loss and pray for those days of recovery and strength - thank you so much for your openness to the public and your strength already. May we always remember Ryan and run for something more eternal than a simple footrace.

a lot of people have shared stories of ryan’s work ethic and success in running. some people don't know this about ryan, but he was a really good student too. he applied the same work ethic in the classroom as he did in his running. 2 stories come to mind.

ryan came to ND his freshman year wanting to major in pre-med. like many freshman, he got caught up in running and starting college and wasn't properly prepared for the rigorous academic requirements of majoring in pre-med at ND. so he fell behind in chemistry and his academic advisor suggested he drop the class (which he did, relunctantly). he ended up switching his major to economics later that year, but notre dame still requires every student to take 2 semesters of science. i came to ND in the fall of ‘98 and one day ryan was rushing to practice. i asked him why he was late and he said he was coming from his chem lab. i knew he was an econ major so i naturally asked him why in the world he would take pre-med chem, instead of bio-101 or archeaology (aka rocks for jock). his response was he wanted to prove to himself that he could pass chemistry b/c he wasn't a quiter (i don't know his final grade, but i'm sure he did better than just pass). that story always stuck with me b/c he never took the easy way out. he set a great example for me on and off the track.

fast forward to my senior year (his 5th year). we were taking a class dubbed "self-paced pysch" b/c there was no lecture - you just read the text and took a minimum of 3 quizzes each week. the way it worked was you got bonus points if you took the quizzes on time and there was no restriction to taking them early. around the time of the ND invite (first friday in october) i asked ryan how he was doing in the class. he said he was done. i'm like, you are done with this week's quizzes? he said no, i'm done with the class. i was dumbfounded since i was barely keeping up each week. he took all the quizzes in the first 1/3 of the semester. but that's the kind of attitude he had - why put something off when you get it done today. it paid off for him too as he graduated a dean’s list student and academic all-american.

ryan was an inspiration for me while at ND and even after my running career was over. he set the bar high for his teammates and he expected nothing but the best out of us. when my buddy called me from the race last saturday to tell me the news i couldn't believe it and i have been devastated ever since. we weren't close friends, but i always admired ryan and followed his career closely. i just hope that all the stories and prayers are some comfort to joe, susan, ryan's siblings and his loving wife in this difficult time. my heart goes out to them.

marc striowski

nd '02

My sympathies to the Shay family. Based on all the great stories shared on this thread, it is obvious that Ryan was a great person. I had only met him twice, very briefly at races and I was impressed that he took the time to speak to me. Coach Vigil always spoke highly of Ryan when we discussed training and workouts; in fact, I feel like I really knew Ryan just based on these conversations with Coach. Again, my sympathies to you on the loss of Ryan. You are all in my family's thoughts and prayers. May God be with you in this difficult time.

Keith Madaras

Marc, thank you for sharing those stories from ND. I, too, am devastated by the news. He was the fiercest competitor I'd ever met. I remember him at parties, having fun but never drinking. I remember his gorgeous legs in the training room, and how he'd curse at himself if a repeat was too slow. I can only imagine him now, running effortlessly on trails of inconceivable beauty. And as tragic as the loss feels to all of us, at least he was doing what he loved, pursuing his dreams, running his race when he went. If I spend my final miles that way, too, I'll feel blessed.

The Shay family,

I've known and competed against Ryan since my freshman year in college at ASU. Even more recently we both arrived in Flagstaff last year on the same day in early December to begin training at the High Altitude Training Center. I remember pulling into the driveway thinking whose tank of a truck is this? Of course it was Ryan's, and he had the work ethic and presence to match the size of it.

Although we weren’t the best of friends, we ran together several times. And several times Ryan was kicking my butt. He was so tough and was able to endure a massive amount of pain to produce amazing workouts every time out. In fact, Ryan ran so hard day in and day out that my coach advised me not to run with him more that twice per week. I owe a great deal of my success to earlier this year to many of those workouts that Ryan helped me to complete. His ability to get so much out of himself forced me to rise to the occasion and reach new levels of pain and speed that I wouldn’t have known were there without him.

After I finished the race on Saturday, my older brother told me that Ryan Shay had died. I thought - Oh, he had a bad race or maybe he dropped out. And he said - no, he actually died. Like many others I was in a state of shock and disbelief. It was a surreal environment in the athletes post race area. I looked around and saw many of my fellow competitors with their faces in their hands shedding tears for a fallen brother just as I'm sure you were at the hospital. Just as I find myself when I read this thread and sense the impact that Ryan had on the lives of so many. It was truly an honor to have know, run, and compete with Ryan: someone who had the capacity to produce such an outpouring of compassion and love from all those whom he touched in his 28 years.

Ryan’s passing has brought me to reflect on all the time that I knew him. This last year of training in Flagstaff is especially vivid in my mind. From what I could tell, Ryan was a very happy and fulfilled person. He had found and married the love of his life. He was making a living doing the thing he loved. He was an entrepreneur who we could all see each month on the back page of Runner’s World in his EAS ad leading a pack of stampeding horses. I’m sure many of us would look upon what Ryan led as a charmed life. It reminds me that it is far better to live our lives happily and to share goodwill, than to live a long cautious life. In this way, our years (however short they may be) will be full and when we leave, we shall live on in the hearts of all those we touched. Ryan Shay is still here in Flagstaff, in Buffalo Park and many other places reminding us to get the most out of our running and our lives.

My Deepest Sympathies for Your Loss,

Fasil Bizuneh

Dearest Alicia,

I felt sick when I heard the news Saturday. I never had a chance to meet Ryan, but always admired his character and work ethic.

I simply cannot imagine what you are going through right now, but I recall your amazingly strong spirit and pray that it is carrying you through right now. We are all praying for you and your in-laws.

-Laura Turner

My thoughts and prayers to the Shays, friends and family.

I have been avoiding typing anything on these boards in relation to this topic, because everytime I read an article, or a message on a thread, a lump forms in my throat. It was not until just recently, did I muster up the courage.

I remember meeting Ryan twice. At the 2003 Mt. Sac Relays, and then again at the XC Nationals in Boulder this past winter. The first time, I was in awe, moreso because I was actually talking to a "famous" runner. Someone who was signed by Nike (at the time). This person, who was much better than me, took the time to have a conversation with me. After we got done talking, I had a smile on my face, in large part because this guy had no ego.

Fast forward four years later, and I meet him again in Boulder. I hesitantly go up to him, and do the, "I know you don't remember me..." When he stopped me and said, "Sure I do. Mt. Sac right?" I was amazed that this man remembered me. We only talked for a couple of minutes, but the simple fact that he remembered was

amazing.

Fast forward again to one hour ago. One of my high school students did her current event argumentative mini-speech on a "Marathoner who died this past weekend." She had no idea who she was talking about, but I did. Not knowing about him did not matter to her though. She did him justice by laying everything out for everyone in class, and eloquently saying, "It is a tragedy when someone young passes away, but when they do it doing something they love, it makes the blow a little better to take." Not only was I impressed with her speech, but that lump returned to my throat.

I'm glad that the sickened feeling that was in my stomach has been replaced after her speech. It was beautiful, as was his life.

Again my sincerest condolences.

Mr. Shay

As a father of a man who is inspirational to all, I know that the Lord has a special place for Ryan to continue running in the Kingdom where there is only joy and happiness. I know he is there now, and hopefully someday, we can all see him run again. Your son was chosen by God to be a witness to those who dont belief and now belief. I am a better man because of your son. I know that I must walk with God everyday, because we may not know when it is our time to go. Mr. Shay my prayers go out to you and your family. I pray that comfort and peace settle you and time surpases. Your son will always live and be remembered.

My deepest sympathy,

Art Garcia

Ryan touched so many people's lives during his journey here on earth and we are all so lucky we had the opportunity to know this special man.

My thoughts and prayers are with the Shay family, friends, and Alicia.

To the Shay family-

I did not know Ryan. And when I hear of the death of someone I do not know, I feel sympathy, but there is usually a lack of emotion.

I cannot explain the burden I've felt since I found out about Ryan's death. I'm brokenhearted for your family. I'm praying for you and especially Alicia. I pray that you have hope in what must seem hopeless.

I have not read through the majority of this thread, but when I came to Stephen Shay's entry a bit of this burden I am feeling was chipped off. I am so grateful to God to hear that Ryan served Jesus in his life. I look forward to meeting him.

I pray that you are comforted in your grieving. I pray that you are joyous in Ryan's salvation!

The Shay Family, Alicia and Coach Vigil,

In a recent interview Ryan said, “And I love this sport. Every chance I have to speak at a high school about the sport, I do it. I want to get kids to think that this sport is worthy of their participation. Basically, I want to recruit fans.” I was one of those kids. In the summer of 2001 I had the opportunity to speak with Ryan following the Elk Rapids Harborun. He had run the 10K race as an AT run and won easily in right around 30:00. That day I had run the 5K race and finished in just under 19 minutes. After the race, I went up to Ryan in hopes of getting my picture taken with him and maybe asking him a few questions. Not only did he graciously take a picture with me, but he stood there for over an hour answering every question I had. An NCAA champion and several time All-American talking to me a 16 year old kid who had just run a 19 minute 5K. Even when Elliot said, "We've gotta get going." Ryan said, "No, it's fine. We've got time." Ryan answered questions about everything. He told me about his upcoming season, that he tried to get 10 hours of sleep every night and that he was going to run another six miles that evening. It was then that I realized what it was going to take to be a successful runner, especially at the college level. I told him that my brother had recently given me this "green" book on running. I then found out that, that particular book was called Road to the Top and it was written by a man named Joe Vigil. Ryan went on to say that this book was the basis of all his training throughout high school, college and he was going to be coached by Coach Vigil as a professional following his final year of collegiate eligibility. Whenever I have the opportunity to dictate my own training, this book has since become the basis for my own training. That day was the turning point when I realized that I needed to get serious about running if I ever wanted to accomplish anything in the sport. I can honestly say that Ryan is the single biggest influence on my running career. If it weren't for him taking the time to speak with me, I wouldn't be the runner I am today or the runner that I will become. Although, it wasn't just about running that Ryan taught me. He showed me that you can never be "too good" to talk to anyone. A few years ago I got the chance to thank him. Following the Grand Rapids River Bank Run I sought him out and told him that I really appreciated him taking the time to talk to me that day and that it had a huge impact on me and my running career. He basically said "Oh. No problem." I don't think he realized the impact that one hour of his life had on mine. I now realize that I'm not alone. I wanted to tell you this story in person this weekend, but I felt I should let everyone know what impact Ryan had on me and honor him in a public forum as well. May God grant you strength in this difficult time. You are in my prayers and your son, brother, pupil and husband will never be forgotten.

-Chris Robertz

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your son was an inspiration.

Thoughts and prayers of my family go to yours. Ryan Shay will live on as an inspiration to me and my children and to many, many others.