Post-nuptial shutoff?

twenty something and glad wrote:

I am a 23 year old male who had been married for a few months. It is great. I met my wife two years ago, fell for her hard, and still love her passionately. We did not have sex until we were married, and it was absolutely a wonderful decision.

Here is the problem, from my inexperienced, idealistic, naive point of view: if you build a relationship on anything besides Jesus, you will likely be miserable and unsatisfied. I know, I know, 90% of people who just read this thought: you self-righteous Jesus freak, you know nothing about the world or love, and bringing up Jesus destoys any credibility that you may have had. Nonetheless, what I have written is true.

Nice to read this! I too was married at 23 and waited until after we were married to lose our virginity. I chose this to honor my maker because it is He, not I, that knows what is best for me.

Jason:

It looks like the Vascectomy Runner post was a rip-off from

www.craigslist.org

'Best of Rants and Raves' section. That's a freaky Web site by the way, broken down by locations. You should check it out for hook-ups.

runmad wrote:

True or false?

Men use love to get sex; women use sex to get love.

Very true.

Even though this story was fake, it probably happened, somewhere.

I hope that slutbag bitch really did exist, just so she could be broken like that.

I'd feel sorry for her child, though. Anyone who would do that doesn't deserve to be a mother.

runmad wrote:

True or false?

Men use love to get sex; women use sex to get love.

Mostly true. So is this:

A woman marries a man, thinking she can change him; a man marries a woman, thinking she won't change.

To reality bites:

Thanks for the rebuff. I realize I am an idealistic 20 year old. I realize that I am young; I admitted it up front in my post. I need older, wiser folks to council me if I am to have a successful, lasting marriage. I welcome a response to this post.

My wife and I's marriage has ITS FOUNDATION in the love of Christ, and not in attraction, sex, companionship, or intimacy. Those things are absolutely present (and are wonderful), but our relationship is based upon a COVENANT to love each other as Christ loved the Church. A covenant is a promise you cling to no matter the circumstance.

Can I live out my vows perfectly? No, definitely not.

But, can I be committed to my wife for my whole life and lean upon the grace of God to love her? Absolutely, yes. And I will. I wish I could meet with you in 20 years, not to prove you wrong, but to testify to God's goodness in our marriage.

Go away please.

Whorehouses exist for a reason.

The NUMBER ONE REASON why your wife/girlfriend seems to shut down the factory down under is because you are not doing the job properly. I know it has been said on this post before, and I might be repeating what some other posters have been saying, but every guy that wants to be having sex more often with his girl needs to keep the following things in mind:

1. The sex seems to stop because you have not made it enjoyable for her. Concentrate on giving her the pleasure for once and she will gladly return the favor.

2. When you are feeling sex-deprived, and it's an ongoing occurance, you need to talk to her. Although a lot of females will just make an excuse, I am assuming that at least some of the posters on this thread have a decent standard to go by on women, and not a standard of looks. A standard of if she is a good person, fellas.

3. If you know she loves you or really likes her, you have to show her that you are the still the same guy you were before you got married with her. Show her some spontaneous surprises every once in awhile and after a couple times she will see the effort you are going to to make her happy, and thus will be much more open to sex because she knows you have done things for her.

4. Just go the extra bit for her. Sex does NOT happen just like that for her. It starts when she wakes up. If the sex has just not happened, why not try being a nice guy and make her breakfast in bed or sprinkle the bed with rose petals. Use your imagination in those little things that might seem insignificant to you, but mean the world to her.

I have been in relationships where it was good for awhile and then after she got comfortable around me, she would just stop trying and seemed to take me for granted. That is what is happening to all of you married folk on here that are going without sex. Don't take her for granted and definately don't let her take you for granted. Show her that you are a man, and that you won't let her take you for granted. I know this is cheesy but it works:

Start off by asking 2 good-looking female friends to "accidently" run into you somewhere when you are out with your wife. This needs to be friends that your wife does not know (co-worker, co-workers wife). Have the friends meet you while you are with your wife at the public place. Have them stand in line behind you and your wife and have them make some remarks about how good looking you are, and that they have never seen someone with your stunning good looks. Turn around and "recognize" them and then introduce your wife to them. Have the friends gush to your wife about how amazing you are and that they really would like to sleep with you(If they don't say this with tact then they are gonna get in a fight). Your wife will then think, "these hot chicks are trying to come onto my husband/boyfriend. I better let him know who he is dating/married.

Let the sparks fly.

The key is to shrewdly let her know that if she takes the sex out of the relationship then some other hottie is going to get you. If she really loves you then this will completely change her world.

Give me some feedback on if it works.

Thank you, but I am not, nor have I ever been, married.

I asked the question that starte this thread shortly after hearing some married people at work grumbling about their spouses.

Again, thanks for the advice. Next time some fetching damsel shows some interest I will take your contribution under advisement.

Happy Spring to you and yours.

(I was discussing this thread with my Manager's Manager at work, wherein he told me an incredible tale of his brother who has been married 5 times (!) and divorced 4 times, one wife ran off on him never to he heard from again. I heard this story and felt pretty good about myself.)

so you married yoru wife because she loves god and not because you are attracted to her or for her companionship?

wow...

thats a hell of a lot more faith then i could have

then again i am not to tight with that whole god thing....

If people didn't get too bored with each other to bother with sex, there would be 100 billion people infesting the planet. It's the most natural form of birth control, next to getting old and fat.

And you're evidently not too tight with the whole English language thing.

God is here wrote:

And you're evidently not too tight with the whole English language thing.

dont start a sentance with 'and' you dbag

It is a complete and grammatically acceptable sentence you Ftard.

twenty something and glad wrote:

Can I live out my vows perfectly? No, definitely not.

But, can I be committed to my wife for my whole life and lean upon the grace of God to love her? Absolutely, yes. And I will. I wish I could meet with you in 20 years, not to prove you wrong, but to testify to God's goodness in our marriage.

Translation: In 2 years I will be skipping Mass w/ the Mrs. so I can masturbate alone in the bathroom.

need data wrote:

I asked the question that starte this thread shortly after hearing some married people at work grumbling about their spouses.

These are the 3-minute guys. They all need to learn to f*** to please not f*** just for their own release. At the root of their problem is that they get done by the time their partner gets barely wet, then they roll over and go to sleep and leave her hanging.

it is unfortunate, this thread was once interesting... most contributions were from guys just being honest about their situationsit went to pot when the extreme idiots come in...you have clubber lang, saying, you need to f like a real man... blah blah blah... translation, i'm an idiot who never gets laid but likes to dream about ityou have the religous right standing on a soap box with his agendaand you have most of the others who just want to contribute negativitywell done

drfil wrote:

need data wrote:

I asked the question that starte this thread shortly after hearing some married people at work grumbling about their spouses.

These are the 3-minute guys. They all need to learn to f*** to please not f*** just for their own release. At the root of their problem is that they get done by the time their partner gets barely wet, then they roll over and go to sleep and leave her hanging.

Where's Mr. Chest when you need him?