I listed my "PRs" on my resume, and now the chickens have come home to roost.

there's nothing like high quality track workouts. you may think you are going hard out in the neighborhoods, but you need to be able to see exactly how fast you are going. Six weeks is actually enough time for 100 mpw with two to three workouts to work. For me it takes 4-5 weeks on that program to start running pr's or close to them. But for you, do two a days and make sure that you have one workout where you are running 100s and 200s hard every week for the first three or four weeks, with adequate recovery. Add in hill sprints or stadium steps. That will help you run much higher quality second workouts as your speed improves. The second workout should start out at 800 repeats and gradually increase to 1M, 2k, and 2M repeats. After three or four weeks, increase the first workout to 300s and 400s. The third workout should be long repeats for the first three weeks and 4-6M tempo by the fourth week.

Push the workouts and run by feel on the others. This advice applies to non-trolls, of course.

Funny how letsrunners love a cheater.

You trained and the collegiate level and "only" managed 16:55? You probably have some weight to lose then. People at optimum weight who legitimately train are much faster than 17:00. Lose 10 lbs and you'll drop 30 seconds off your 5k. Should only take two weeks.

DiscoGary wrote:

D3 Girl wrote:

Don't you know how this works? Go super HAM at the start of the race then, with a mile or so to go, start stumbling around and pretending like you're really injured or sick or something. Keep pathetically attempting to continue with tears in your eyes and a grimace on your face. Once the faster runner has pulled away from you, collapse in a heap and blame it on improper nutrition and also a stress reaction that you've been training through. Don't forget to cry. Some will admire your grit; others will think you're a baby, but they still might believe that you're actually capable of running fast.

... AND REMEMBER TO PUKE!!!

Bingo!

This is actually a scene in the new movie starring, about, written, directed, and promoted by OLYMPIAN (she leaves out the "for Greece" part) Alexi Pappas.

Best excuses-

-I just tempoed today.

-Im saving myself for 4th of July Firecracker 5k.

-didn't recover from my mile repeats the other day.

-High pollen count slowed me down.

-don't know what happened. Ive been having awesome workouts. First mile in 4:55 felt great, then I fell apart.

Excuse me miss wrote:

-High pollen count slowed me down.

This.

Show up with a Rupp mask and run a 20 min 5k. Cry some tears and say you're devastated that you couldn't help the team. Laugh as you get promoted for your dedication and company loyalty.

I'd suggest a combination of EPO and blood doping.

Or you could follow some of the great advice already put forward in this thread.

This is like when I read that there are men in college who run over 5:00 for the indoor mile. How does one survive in college running with race times over 17:00 most of the time?

Running is hard, too hard to keep at it every day or every year to run 16:55 as the high point. I don't know how people do that.

I agree with this poster but would add testosterone.

I would worry less about winning the 5K, and worry more about having given enough information on the internet that my boss will find out I lied in my interview.

Hi everyone. Thank you for the advice so far. I'll spend the night processing everything and see how I can implement the advice here into my training.

Minor update. Went out for 8 miles tonight, mostly loops around a park. Unfortunately, while I was looping around some softball fields I caught a tough freak break. A batter hit a line drive foul right at me and it dinged me square in my left knee. Very painful and my knee swelled up a bit, but I was still able to finish the run. Icing the knee now and hoping it feels OK tomorrow so my training doesn't take a setback.

Corporate 5Ker wrote:

Hi everyone. Thank you for the advice so far. I'll spend the night processing everything and see how I can implement the advice here into my training.

Minor update. Went out for 8 miles tonight, mostly loops around a park. Unfortunately, while I was looping around some softball fields I caught a tough freak break. A batter hit a line drive foul right at me and it dinged me square in my left knee. Very painful and my knee swelled up a bit, but I was still able to finish the run. Icing the knee now and hoping it feels OK tomorrow so my training doesn't take a setback.

You've been gifted the perfect excuse.

Your Welcum wrote:

Corporate 5Ker wrote:

Hi everyone. Thank you for the advice so far. I'll spend the night processing everything and see how I can implement the advice here into my training.

Minor update. Went out for 8 miles tonight, mostly loops around a park. Unfortunately, while I was looping around some softball fields I caught a tough freak break. A batter hit a line drive foul right at me and it dinged me square in my left knee. Very painful and my knee swelled up a bit, but I was still able to finish the run. Icing the knee now and hoping it feels OK tomorrow so my training doesn't take a setback.

You've been gifted the perfect excuse.

I'm not looking for an excuse though, LOL. I want to step up and win!

I ran a minute faster 5k than your lie. I dont think i could break 6 minutes for one mile right now. I never put my 5k pr on my resume because running doesnt matter.

Improve your resume.

35 to 70 mpw in a short period can't be smart.

I think you need an interval session and a tempo session a week. The next 4 weeks are crucial. I'd suggest doing mile repeats, in a park on trails if you have a good one nearby. Ideally with some hills too. 5-6 x mile repeats with 2 min walking recovery at goal 5km pace.

In fact you could opt for a 3rd workout per week, being faster say 5 x 1km repeats at 3km pace. I think it's important to do some training at faster than goal pace, so the goal pace feels more comfortable. You could do that the day before the long run.

So easier running on days 1-3-5 and on the others as below.

Day 2 - mile repeats

Day 4 - tempo

Day 6 - 1km repeats or vVo2 max work (google Veronique Billat)

Day 7 - Long run

Some good ideas here.

Asking for paid time off to train and the Rupp mask/ pollen count excuse.

I also like the softball to the while trying excuse.

Nice

[quote]Blood dEPOr wrote:

I'd suggest a combination of EPO and blood doping.

Or you could follow some of the great advice already put forward in this thread

Blood dEPOr wrote:

I'd suggest a combination of EPO and blood doping.

Or you could follow some of the great advice already put forward in this thread.

Just be sure you don\'t over do it; you don't want people to get suspicious:

Corporate 5Ker wrote:

Hi everyone. Thank you for the advice so far. I'll spend the night processing everything and see how I can implement the advice here into my training.

Minor update. Went out for 8 miles tonight, mostly loops around a park. Unfortunately, while I was looping around some softball fields I caught a tough freak break. A batter hit a line drive foul right at me and it dinged me square in my left knee. Very painful and my knee swelled up a bit, but I was still able to finish the run. Icing the knee now and hoping it feels OK tomorrow so my training doesn't take a setback.

I love this thread.

Now we've got a freak accident on top of an already implausible scenario.

You are doing the Mike Rossi story proud. Be sure to get an MRI. Maybe get a soft cast and crutches to really sell it. I will check this thread often as the implausible story unfolds.

If this were real, OP would work intervals at the race pace goal for the weeks left.