I cannot grow a beard and I don't think I would grow one even if I could. But, there is a small subsection of our population that has some sort of phobia when it comes to facial hair. I think it is Freudian. My father is this way. It makes him feel self conscious, I can tell. He gets very uncomfortable around men with beards, almost a penis-envy type of thing. It is really weird.
I thought it was hilarious to see this thread b/c I had this conversation with him over Christmas. He has a similar attitude as Off The Grid - beards make him angry and uncomfortable. People are so weird.
I just wouldn't want a beard b/c it seems hot and itchy. Like wearing a wool sweater on your face all day.