Crazy dating app stat: men at the 50th percentile of attractiveness get swiped right by <1% of women

Sacks-Ramaswamy 2028 · 2025-10-27T23:05:21-04:00

So imagine you're an average guy and you swipe right on 20% of women. If women swipe right on 1% of average men, that means it takes 500 swipes just to come across a profile that is possible to be a match. But the woman on the other end never needs to look through 500 profiles (Women get so many matches that they can fill up their date schedule without spending much time swiping). There's almost zero possibility of an average guy getting a date in today's world.

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7 months ago 10/28/2025 6:42pm EDT

re: you too can do it

you too can do it wrote:
Solid 6-7 man here.
I have found many dates and short-term girlfriends through online dating, as well as a couple of long-term relationships, one of which led to y being engaged. So I would say dating apps were a positive part of my late 20s and early 30s.
How did this work so well? Sure as heck not due to my looks.
Nothing more than an interesting and unique profile, as well as some effort and wit in early messages. (I would never mention my work and income as a doctor until quite a way into a new interaction.)
I tend to think that if someone is "failing" online it is not due to looks, but due to level of effort and certain social skills (a.k.a. "game" but with sincerity.)

dude. A 7 is not 'pretty average.' It is literally 40% higher than average.

You are missing the point here. You are the beneficiary of the system, that's why you got 'many dates and short term girlfriends.'

This is why you think you just have to you know try a little harder.

It's like a 4:20 miler saying to a 5 minute miler 'you just have to train a little harder.'

7 months ago 10/28/2025 6:48pm EDT

re: Sacks-Ramaswamy 2028

Just because women don't see your value does not mean you don't have value.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 6:57pm EDT

re: 102825

102825 wrote:
you too can do it wrote:
Solid 6-7 man here.
I have found many dates and short-term girlfriends through online dating, as well as a couple of long-term relationships, one of which led to y being engaged. So I would say dating apps were a positive part of my late 20s and early 30s.
How did this work so well? Sure as heck not due to my looks.
Nothing more than an interesting and unique profile, as well as some effort and wit in early messages. (I would never mention my work and income as a doctor until quite a way into a new interaction.)
I tend to think that if someone is "failing" online it is not due to looks, but due to level of effort and certain social skills (a.k.a. "game" but with sincerity.)
dude. A 7 is not 'pretty average.' It is literally 40% higher than average.
You are missing the point here. You are the beneficiary of the system, that's why you got 'many dates and short term girlfriends.'
This is why you think you just have to you know try a little harder.
It's like a 4:20 miler saying to a 5 minute miler 'you just have to train a little harder.'

I think viewing this as "x% better than average" isn't the best imo. In the linked photo below, is there a big difference (for the men) between 7 and 10? no. Nor is there for 8-10 for women (7 is just slightly less attractive imo). I'd view it like height - for younger (American) males, true average is somewhere between 5'9 and 5'10, but you're not "short" if you're 5'7.5 or up. Guys somewhat below average can do decently well but it's an uphill battle (though below average girls will still be inundated). 5'7.5 is the shorter end of average but still in the average range. Just like someone 6'0 is not "tall" but certainly not short either - higher end of average. A 7 is probably top 10-15% in looks - the equivalent height is basically 6'0" exactly.

I personally would view myself at about a 6.5-7 in looks and have done pretty well. but I'm not a 8+

Open image

7 months ago 10/28/2025 7:05pm EDT

re: height..

height.. wrote:
102825 wrote:
dude. A 7 is not 'pretty average.' It is literally 40% higher than average.
You are missing the point here. You are the beneficiary of the system, that's why you got 'many dates and short term girlfriends.'
This is why you think you just have to you know try a little harder.
It's like a 4:20 miler saying to a 5 minute miler 'you just have to train a little harder.'
I think viewing this as "x% better than average" isn't the best imo. In the linked photo below, is there a big difference (for the men) between 7 and 10? no. Nor is there for 8-10 for women (7 is just slightly less attractive imo). I'd view it like height - for younger (American) males, true average is somewhere between 5'9 and 5'10, but you're not "short" if you're 5'7.5 or up. Guys somewhat below average can do decently well but it's an uphill battle (though below average girls will still be inundated). 5'7.5 is the shorter end of average but still in the average range. Just like someone 6'0 is not "tall" but certainly not short either - higher end of average. A 7 is probably top 10-15% in looks - the equivalent height is basically 6'0" exactly.
I personally would view myself at about a 6.5-7 in looks and have done pretty well. but I'm not a 8+
Image:i.ytimg.com/vi/DFvvzhukdWk/hq720.jpg?s...

well it's like has been pointed out many times in discussions of dating...people who have it easier than the rest truly cannot understand how much harder it is for less attractive people.

Women who pretend to be men on dating apps as an experiment are genuinely shocked at how hard men have it. The women had no idea. And I don't think you do either.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 7:13pm EDT

re: 102825

102825 wrote:
height.. wrote:
I think viewing this as "x% better than average" isn't the best imo. In the linked photo below, is there a big difference (for the men) between 7 and 10? no. Nor is there for 8-10 for women (7 is just slightly less attractive imo). I'd view it like height - for younger (American) males, true average is somewhere between 5'9 and 5'10, but you're not "short" if you're 5'7.5 or up. Guys somewhat below average can do decently well but it's an uphill battle (though below average girls will still be inundated). 5'7.5 is the shorter end of average but still in the average range. Just like someone 6'0 is not "tall" but certainly not short either - higher end of average. A 7 is probably top 10-15% in looks - the equivalent height is basically 6'0" exactly.
I personally would view myself at about a 6.5-7 in looks and have done pretty well. but I'm not a 8+
Image:i.ytimg.com/vi/DFvvzhukdWk/hq720.jpg?s...
well it's like has been pointed out many times in discussions of dating...people who have it easier than the rest truly cannot understand how much harder it is for less attractive people.
Women who pretend to be men on dating apps as an experiment are genuinely shocked at how hard men have it. The women had no idea. And I don't think you do either.

and also, when attractive women lose their looks to age they are shocked by how the world doesn't treat them well anymore. Same idea. Lack of understanding how the other half lives.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 7:17pm EDT

re: Ave girl

Ave girl wrote:
Imagine you are an average girl and every male swipes right on you. Of those only one or two want more than a one night stand. However every single one will pretend they are looking for a relationship.

boo-hoo, cry me a river.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 7:31pm EDT

re: Sacks-Ramaswamy 2028

This isn't surprising

The 50th percentile is not the average attractive person, this is because it is on a negative SKEW distribution. There are way more unattractive people than there are attractive people.

Just like in running a 4:30:00 marathon time is the median of people that run a marathon, but it's not an average time per se. Because it's a positive SKEWED distribution due to extremely slow people who don't train pulling it down.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 7:42pm EDT

re: height..

height.. wrote:
102825 wrote:
dude. A 7 is not 'pretty average.' It is literally 40% higher than average.
You are missing the point here. You are the beneficiary of the system, that's why you got 'many dates and short term girlfriends.'
This is why you think you just have to you know try a little harder.
It's like a 4:20 miler saying to a 5 minute miler 'you just have to train a little harder.'
I think viewing this as "x% better than average" isn't the best imo. In the linked photo below, is there a big difference (for the men) between 7 and 10? no. Nor is there for 8-10 for women (7 is just slightly less attractive imo). I'd view it like height - for younger (American) males, true average is somewhere between 5'9 and 5'10, but you're not "short" if you're 5'7.5 or up. Guys somewhat below average can do decently well but it's an uphill battle (though below average girls will still be inundated). 5'7.5 is the shorter end of average but still in the average range. Just like someone 6'0 is not "tall" but certainly not short either - higher end of average. A 7 is probably top 10-15% in looks - the equivalent height is basically 6'0" exactly.
I personally would view myself at about a 6.5-7 in looks and have done pretty well. but I'm not a 8+
Image:i.ytimg.com/vi/DFvvzhukdWk/hq720.jpg?s...

LOL the 4 and the 7 are the same guy and the 5 is a puppet from Team America

7 months ago 10/28/2025 7:46pm EDT

re: Just sayin'...

Just sayin\'... wrote:
A different dating world we live in wrote:
This country is in a male dating crisis never seen before:
60% of men under 30 are single.
50% of men under 30 have never experienced sex with a woman.
Video:youtu.be/ZVAqVxSPXSI?si=GkmvmVmuk-JkNr...
Is this serious? Fifty percent? If true: wow.
I have to echo the "move to a city" advice. Shortly after I came to NYC, I dated four different women in a month. Half of them asked me out. And I'm no particular prize in the looks department, other than being taller than average and not fat. (I'd imagine most LREers aren't fat either.)

"Watch the video...it's pretty interesting. I think the data comes from Pew research.

Todd V was explaining that one the reasons - if not the main reason - for the 50% rate of men under 30 never experiencing sex is the technology advancement & easily access to porn. Any guy with a smartphone now has instantaneous access to high-resolution porn 24/7.

Todd V says they're getting sexual relief & dopamine hits regularly through porn. No need to have motivation to pursue women..

7 months ago 10/28/2025 8:44pm EDT

re: height..

height.. wrote:
102825 wrote:
dude. A 7 is not 'pretty average.' It is literally 40% higher than average.
You are missing the point here. You are the beneficiary of the system, that's why you got 'many dates and short term girlfriends.'
This is why you think you just have to you know try a little harder.
It's like a 4:20 miler saying to a 5 minute miler 'you just have to train a little harder.'
I think viewing this as "x% better than average" isn't the best imo. In the linked photo below, is there a big difference (for the men) between 7 and 10? no. Nor is there for 8-10 for women (7 is just slightly less attractive imo). I'd view it like height - for younger (American) males, true average is somewhere between 5'9 and 5'10, but you're not "short" if you're 5'7.5 or up. Guys somewhat below average can do decently well but it's an uphill battle (though below average girls will still be inundated). 5'7.5 is the shorter end of average but still in the average range. Just like someone 6'0 is not "tall" but certainly not short either - higher end of average. A 7 is probably top 10-15% in looks - the equivalent height is basically 6'0" exactly.
I personally would view myself at about a 6.5-7 in looks and have done pretty well. but I'm not a 8+
Image:i.ytimg.com/vi/DFvvzhukdWk/hq720.jpg?s...

The folks with really light eyes creep me out. How are they 9-10s?

The female 4 is cute.

Who put this together? This is all wrong and also attractiveness is subjective. Even someone doesn't like Brad Pitt, even before the 20 kids and alcoholism.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 9:23pm EDT

re: Motivation

Motivation wrote:
Stop being average. get your Shiite together. Seriously.

This. The average American earns $40K per year. The average IQ is 100. The average "runner" in my local 5K shuffles across the line in 30 minutes. And, yes, a guy of average attractiveness is ugly.

Average sucks. Don't be average.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 9:34pm EDT

re: old fashioned guys always win

old fashioned guys always win wrote:
Your local running club, volunteer organizations, etc... Mix it up with people in the real world. Show them you have value and they will take notice. Stop the dating app nonsense.

This is complete BS. I'll assume you don't know it and gave this advice in good faith.

If you're not good enough for women to ask you on a date in 2025, you shouldn't try dating at all. It's not for you.

If you're an unattractive male trying to use this strategy you'll be seen as a creep and as scheming.

There's a trend on tiktok and instagram where women react to the following text: "Your male friend says he needs to tell you something" and women act horrified, like they are being violated. They consider this a massive a-hole move. If you try to move from friend to boyfriend you will be considered a rapist. This is not new btw. This is what happens if you try the "real life" dating.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 9:39pm EDT

re: average sucks

average sucks wrote:
Motivation wrote:
Stop being average. get your Shiite together. Seriously.
This. The average American earns $40K per year. The average IQ is 100. The average "runner" in my local 5K shuffles across the line in 30 minutes. And, yes, a guy of average attractiveness is ugly.
Average sucks. Don't be average.

It has broad societal implications if "average is over" in the dating world. For example, if only the top 50% of guys are able to find a mate, you'd need people who pair off to have 4.2 kids just to sustain the population.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 10:09pm EDT

re: A different dating world we live in

A different dating world we live in wrote:
Todd V says

^incel

7 months ago 10/28/2025 10:59pm EDT

re: The Brotherhood of the Snake

The Brotherhood of the Snake wrote:
average sucks wrote:
This. The average American earns $40K per year. The average IQ is 100. The average "runner" in my local 5K shuffles across the line in 30 minutes. And, yes, a guy of average attractiveness is ugly.
Average sucks. Don't be average.
It has broad societal implications if "average is over" in the dating world. For example, if only the top 50% of guys are able to find a mate, you'd need people who pair off to have 4.2 kids just to sustain the population.

My (female) friend did the apps and after a couple of years after meeting someone, she is living with him. She said from the start of her apps journey that looks didn’t matter to her. The only hitch right now is he’s been unemployed for six months. Oh and he falls asleep on the couch instead of coming to bed with her. And she doesn’t know what he does all day while she’s working.

Anyway, sharing to give some guys some hope!

7 months ago 10/28/2025 11:01pm EDT

re: The Brotherhood of the Snake

The Brotherhood of the Snake wrote:
average sucks wrote:
This. The average American earns $40K per year. The average IQ is 100. The average "runner" in my local 5K shuffles across the line in 30 minutes. And, yes, a guy of average attractiveness is ugly.
Average sucks. Don't be average.
It has broad societal implications if "average is over" in the dating world. For example, if only the top 50% of guys are able to find a mate, you'd need people who pair off to have 4.2 kids just to sustain the population.

It is ridic. I wasn’t raised to have a ton of confidence, but it is wild how highly women, especially white women, think of themselves. I always think I could learn something from them and then feel silly.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 11:05pm EDT

re: jam1n

jam1n wrote:
zero sum game guy wrote:
For a single, average looking man dating apps are a zero sum game.
Take nice pictures instead of uploading creepy bathroom selfies, and maybe you’ll do better.

This. If you put even a time effort into taking nice pix, you might do better. It might be a little gay, but this is an app that’s all about the pictures.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 11:15pm EDT

re: stats lover

For a variety of reasons most of us know, women have a lot more options now. And instead of men stepping up their game to say, hey, I’m a good option and here’s why you should choose me - it’s just a bunch of whining.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 11:28pm EDT

re: The guse is looose

The guse is looose wrote:
jam1n wrote:
Take nice pictures instead of uploading creepy bathroom selfies, and maybe you’ll do better.
This. If you put even a time effort into taking nice pix, you might do better. It might be a little gay, but this is an app that’s all about the pictures.

If someone is too lazy about their profile, they will be lazy about other things.

7 months ago 10/28/2025 11:58pm EDT

re: height..

height.. wrote:
102825 wrote:
dude. A 7 is not 'pretty average.' It is literally 40% higher than average.
You are missing the point here. You are the beneficiary of the system, that's why you got 'many dates and short term girlfriends.'
This is why you think you just have to you know try a little harder.
It's like a 4:20 miler saying to a 5 minute miler 'you just have to train a little harder.'
I think viewing this as "x% better than average" isn't the best imo. In the linked photo below, is there a big difference (for the men) between 7 and 10? no. Nor is there for 8-10 for women (7 is just slightly less attractive imo). I'd view it like height - for younger (American) males, true average is somewhere between 5'9 and 5'10, but you're not "short" if you're 5'7.5 or up. Guys somewhat below average can do decently well but it's an uphill battle (though below average girls will still be inundated). 5'7.5 is the shorter end of average but still in the average range. Just like someone 6'0 is not "tall" but certainly not short either - higher end of average. A 7 is probably top 10-15% in looks - the equivalent height is basically 6'0" exactly.
I personally would view myself at about a 6.5-7 in looks and have done pretty well. but I'm not a 8+
Image:i.ytimg.com/vi/DFvvzhukdWk/hq720.jpg?s...

yIf you're below average in height (5'9" for an American male), you're short. And if you're in sub-5'6" level, you're ultra-short.

However, in today's modern dating era, where women have access to social media & dating apps, under 6'0" is considered short by their standards.

Height has always been a status symbol with males through the history of mankind. But it's more of a status symbol & attraction feature with today's women.

This is an interesting channel. This guy is 5'3.5" (ultra-short) and has struggled with height insecurity. His dating life has been nonexistent & he's almost 30 yrs old!