Been dating my gf for 2 years. Seems like life has been a constant struggle for her that entire time. Normal?

He's like 30, 31. That's the perfect age for thinking you have life figured out..when you don't. Fake master of the universe.

It's not necessarily a red flag, but it does bring up questions. What does she do for work, and how old are you? Is she early mid 20s? Does she express these struggles to others, or does she just save it for you and maybe a best friend? She could just have gotten so comfortable with you that she's able to express herself fully after having to keep it together in other parts of her life. At this point, it would be good to just listen and be supportive...

... unless you're sick of it and decide to follow all the boys' advice here on this forum - which may be valid especially if you're thinking about having kids - THAT can be a massive overwhelming struggle.

Also - ever go on trips and even then does she not feel good?

Married guy, 45, been married 20 +.

It's a concern. You have to take turns being the person who needs help. Sometimes it has to be your turn. Sometimes it shouldnt be either of your turn.

I work in HR, and the same people that always need help,...they live in that place. Especially, when your sample size is 2 years and not 2 months.

PS: Loved the poster who commented about how it is when you have a sick kid. Life cant be a real challenge, illness, kids, lose a parent, etc. That's real life for ya. Been there. Luckily she was there for me also.

not saying your wife is right but you probably could be doing something better with your time and gas money than redoing stuff because you don't want to be organized

Do you love her?

If she's genuine and decently well-intentioned, smart, and conscientious, ride it out and make sacrifices for her

-Terveisin, a failed man of decent intelligence and conscientiousness who has no success in life yet

This is honestly me and my wife. Our situation is reverse. We built her as the main career person/bread winner. I was a General Contractor when we met. I found our property and built my house, I manage our rental, which I also drew the plans for and built, do most car maintenance, repairs and replacement, handle insurance plans, bills I was the main child care provider and homemaker AKA "nurturer" for three kids, all boys. I did a lot of volunteer activities for our schools. I have also had the freedom to run, and yes garden and fish too, like a retired guy much of all this time(not always). PNSO never took over. I knew I would have been a crap person as the bread winner and our family and relationships, would not have had a chance with two full time, or full time plus careers. It hasn't been perfect of course. Issues are a play for everybody and I imagine there are extremely few people who aren't difficult in some ways. It doesn't have to ruin thngs or make a person obsolete.

I would have stayed single and NOT had children if my wife and I, or possibly another woman, had not agreed to these lifestyle goals before we married.

Know thy self.

Her 5k PR?

If you are with the wrong person it will feel like constant working if you are with the correct one it will feel like zero work.

These are normal adult things, but are you the center of her solution? It sounds like she needs to like 9-12 other people who she can work with for balance. We all need a team of helpers: a therapist, a spiritual guide, a general practioner, a coach, a physical therapist, three best friends, a partner, a pet, and maybe a few others.

It's not uncommon, but also not 'normal'

Iit is very likely that she is suffering from poor mental health and needs some professional help. Chances are there is still a wonderful person underneath her struggles and if you help her through this you will both come out the better side much better people.

There's a lot of misogny and other rubbish in this thread. Please take it with a grain of salt. Steve the Addict and his friends are not the beacons of healthy relationships and insight that they claim to be.

I want to second this. Maybe you can try to figure out what the root cause of all of this is? I'm sure there is one, and there's a good chance it has something to do with her childhood.

YES! And they may not even know it!

What’s wrong with that? I think having a mother at home is the best gift you can give a child.

My wife keeps the whole thing together, I couldn’t think of anything worse than her having to work a ‘regular’ job.

Seems false, based on available evidence.

This weird trad-wife vibe going on in the thread ain’t it and is not helpful to OP (FWIW my husband and I both work full time jobs, have two kids and both appreciate what the other brings to the table in terms of household duties and child rearing. If either of us didn’t work we’d go crazy. Being a SAHP is awful.)

OP you’ve gotten a lot of good advice here. If the worst thing she does is unload to you about how stressed/overwhelmed she is, that’s not too bad. It might be worth exploring with her why she gets so overwhelmed and what she sees as the long-term solution to it?

I'd hesitate to throw out a relationship for what seems to be a few months of struggle. It sounds like she may be experiencing mental health challenges (maybe she's a bit depressed?), and I think that's worth discussing and supporting her through. If there are other issues besides the crying, etc. that you described, though, your worries do sound valid.

TLDR--have a discussion with her and proceed with caution.

Don’t men account for like 70% of suicides?

Depression drugs work wonders.

we should have each others back

but not be a permanent crutch

dump