Joe Rogan: The Sad Reality of Aging Without Family: An Adrift Generation.

So, the number one reason you don’t want kids is because you can’t ask them ahead of time if they want to be born.

Too risky. Have a child and there is the chance you get a lazy stupid dud.

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How to Motivate a Child Who is Unmotivated to Do Anything

Pamela Li

Find out how to motivate a child who is unmotivated to do anything. These kids may seem lazy but there could be other underlying reasons.

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I'm approaching my mid 40s. Up until my mid 30s I would say I was fairly against having kids. But then I changed to more of a "if it happens, it happens" mindset.

The biggest hurdle to that is going to be a suitable person now. Aside from the fact I am that guy that everyone knows is single, I work longer hours than most people. I'm not much of a drinker and most of my friends are "settled down" in one way or another, so rarely arrange nights out. I get nothing long term from the various dating apps. And the last girl I asked out after a few weeks of messaging and making her laugh and flirting, declined my invitation. So I find it difficult to meet single people.

Some years ago I met and briefly dated a lady who announced very early on in our dating, her desire to have children asap. Like I said, I'm open to children, but she made it sound like I was to be a sperm donor. And to a degree, it didn't actually matter who got her pregnant, as the chances of being kicked to the curb afterwards felt like it was inevitable. She dumped me shortly after. I don't know if she's got kids now.

Factor in that any woman my age is going to find it harder to conceive and also their age will likely result in a higher chance of complications. I cant possibly in good conscience bring a child into the world with problems. And lets be honest, women in the child bearing ages of 18-35 are unlikely to share much in common with me. Or indeed want to enter into a relationship with a guy (even one as amazing as me!) closer to the age of their father!

At some point in your life, you have to realise that you are the problem. That its not everyone else. Its you.

I know how this ends...

Good for you! But equally, good for your loved daughter. I wish you the very best and it sounds like you both are so very fortunate to have each other.

Sure, if you stink as a parent. If you do your job, aka your part, most kids turn out fine.

Go ahead and laugh, but I'm not a genius. I used common sense. Reading, good nutrition, exercise, etc... They watched us work hard and it was natural to them. They both have great jobs that they "enjoy" and are "happy" with the field they chose.

Still waiting for a response Benjamin. You read my post, you can only ignore it for so long pal.

I am no expert in these things, though they do exist, but first, there are a lot of things that can be done with insemination programs and eggs and the like. It's amazing, and some of these risks can be mitigated therein. And there is always adoption, as well.

But mostly the notion that you may be the problem is a) not founded, and b) not helpful.

Not supported because most everyone I know had a real challenge finding the right person, and it took time. And at certain ages, yeah, probably a lot harder.

Not helpful because it is sell-fulfilling: you believe and project that, and who in their right mind would want to team with that? Really, I would just say, and this sounds a bit crude, think of yourself as a package that ultimately is one that someone would want to be around, and then do what you can to get the goods on the market.

If you don't find someone, so be it, but atleast you will have strived to be as together, self-confident, and admirable as possible, and that is pretty much it's own reward.

Good luck to you.

The worst possible outcome would be the kid pays to join a supporters club of a free online running message board...

The brojos should ban you, if that's possible.

I agree with all of this Steve.

So you favor censorship over self-awareness

I dont understand why people with kids always feel the need to preach down to those of us that do not.

I would certainly never tell anyone that they shouldn't have kids. Go crazy, have 10, whatever..

Just leave us alone, we're fine. Trust me.

If u don't want kids np- it's your choice. I have 2 close friends w no kids 1 who regrets it. 1 left his wife 20yrs ago bc she wanted kids. He is single and she remarried and has 3 kids. He regrets missing out on being a father. Another one is happily single. I have 4 great kids all now married all former d1 athletes and grads, all very close and decent, but I realize it could have gone either way.. so it's a very personal choice and I respect yours

Look around. 90% or more of the couples you see the guy will not be 6 feet tall, and from appearance, not be winning big at the money game. It's up to you son.

Well if you only look at the top 10% of woman and ignore the rest, he has a point ...

But yes for most people it is a choice to be single. They see what their value is worth on the dating market and decide they would rather be single. Then they blame other people. There are plenty of single 35-45 year old guys who want to start a family. But they might not be what you want. Plenty of girls who don't want some 6' dude. But they odds are they aren't in that top 10% in looks..

By-product of millennial women.

I’d like to contribute to this conversation from a related but totally different angle. My wife and I both are from Italian immigrant parents, who came to the country in the 50s/60s, our culture , as many do, has an unwritten rule that you look after your parents when they’re old. Last June, my MIL fell at her condo, it was the 3rd time in a month and she was deemed no longer capable of living on her own and by July she was living with us. We were just on the verge of becoming empty nesters and now we are sandwiched. It’s a lot of work, we are always on the watch of her to not fall again. In between her walker and wheelchair she gets around but extremely slow and a few times a month has not made it to the bathroom on time.
WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY NEXT MAY COME ACROSS AS SELFISH BUT PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME.

My wife and I are 58/57 , in the best shape of our lives, running , cycling, hiking , gym etc.,. We are also very frugal with our money and have turned average incomes into a very comfortable lifestyle that we would like to start enjoying now that our children are older but we can’t because of this situation. We’ve had to cancel vacations, cannot book vacations and really cannot leave the home for longer than a few hours and we certainly are not going to ask our 20 yearish boys to look after Nonna in the event she soils herself. I didn’t ask for this, I feel trapped and to be honest the Italian Roman Catholic guilt is weighing heavy on me as I even write this.

sorry to vent but there is no way I will ever expect my boys to put their life on hold to look after me!

I'm in a similar boat. I did not want kids, nor did my wife initially, but eventually she did. I reluctantly agreed. Kids are definitely stressful, but I miss mine even if he just stays the night with grandparents. And they change you for the better. I've had to become a much less selfish and much more patient. I'm not sure anything else could have changed me in those ways.

The sad part is the above reality doesn't sway jamin. He'll be a virgin basement goblin for life.