I'm 38 with 2 kids (2 and 4). Is life just hard right now or is it me?

Way to hate on the east coast.

Sorry -- That's actually not what I meant. I spent 30+ years on the east coast and grew up there and loved it. We just live in a place that's better suited for the stuff that fills our bucket up (outdoors). I do miss a lot about home.

Yea that's a good call. Our kids are both in school all day and my wife and I work from home so get a decent break from them but taking the odd 2 hours is a really good tip. Tx

Having one kid is just a nice little hobby. Three is about the most you can have and still maintain some sort of sanity.

With three or more kids it's pure madness - one of them is always crying, sick (or in the ER - I know a family that always has a kid in a cast), misbehaving, being too loud, missing, etc.

When your kids are playing sports or doing other activities you are forced to be around other parents who are at least as mentally unstable as you are.

Then throw in dealing with their school teachers who are still single or only have one kid (it's a hobby!!!). Just wait until one of these inexperienced teachers tell you how to raise a child.

57 and no kids (wife is 54). It's not like either one of us ever had any doubts about our choice to be childless but reading threads like this just reinforces to me how right we were. What a nightmare that would have been.

I'm 60 and my girls are 25 and 23 so I was in your position at your age. The time will fly and you'll one day realize you have two wonderful young adults in your life. My wife and I now have more time to ourselves, more spending money and can please ourselves- which includes taking trips to go out to dinners with our daughters and their partners. Good times

That’s your issue. Start drinking and doing drugs.

I had my kids much younger than you but having kids is always a challenge, just the challenges change. Soon your kids will be in more activities like sports and that sort of thing. You just have to roll with it and enjoy it while it lasts. My kids are now gone away at college but I do miss the times of being able to go out every day and do stuff with them.

I also don't drink or do drugs but if things end up feeling overwhelming all the time then you should see a doctor and they will give you the right kind of drugs to deal with these things.

Yeah mine are second grade and kindergarten and we're here. No more diapers. They sleep all night. They can entertain each other and themselves. They aren't going to injure themselves in the house.

I can finally enjoy them more as little people instead of just poop machines. It tickles me every time they get a new interest. Right now my second grader is into the world wars so he's been reading (age appropriate) books and then telling me about the U-boats and trenches and tanks and poisonous gas. Like I could have this conversation with another adult, it's actually interesting.

West coast best coast.

I have a 14 and 15 year old with my late wife and a 1 and 3 year old with my current. It gets easier. Its like running. Enjoy the pain.

35 with 3 year old and 4 month old. 1 kid to 2 now hasnt been as bad as I thought but the long nights have been exhausting. My wife gets up to feed the 4 month old twice per night usually since shes stay at home so that has helped me significantly. My 3 year old doesnt wake up until 630-7 AM so I am able to run from 5-6 or 630 AM each day.

We started a strict routine when our 3 year old was 5 months old with our nighttime routine and I think its made it a whole lot easier. Only watches tablet from 7-730 PM every night(not during the day at all). 730 we brush teeth, get PJs on and read 1-2 books until 8 PM and its lights out. My wife and I then watch TV from 8-9 or 930 AM and start over. My 3 year old has woken up maybe 3 times since he was 5 months old at night. I credit my wife for that routine. I would be lying if I said it was easy but my wife goes out with her friends once or twice a month and I go out more usually.

I look back at pictures of my 3 year old when he was little and it makes me sad how quickly hes grown but each month is more exciting with him too.

For the kids or the parents? :)

I'm only 2.5 weeks into parenthood of twins, but so far it has definitely been a shock to the system going from loafing around doing what I want, when I want, to all my focus and energy going into keeping 2 babies alive. I think it's okay to admit when things are hard and you shouldn't compare your experience with those who "have it worse."

The toughest time is birth to age 5. Once you get a kid in kindergarten, things start to get easier. At that point, you've got at least one that can dress themselves, use the bathroom, feed their self and goes to school most days. When both are in elementary school, that's a great time. The kids still want to spend time with you, but they're independent enough you're not constantly changing diapers, dealing with tantrums or stopping them from sticking forks in electric outlets or their eyeballs.

Middle school gets weird, because the kids retreat into their rooms for three years, want nothing to do with you and when forced to interact, they can be hormonal and rude.

In high school things can go either way. Parenting times can be good again if, God willing, your kids manage to get in with a good friend-group that isn't all about drinking/drugging/sexing. If they've gone that route high school and beyond could be rough.

Hang in there, OP. Things will get better before you know it.

No kids myself, but my sister, 35, has two young ones (2, 4), and she is completely depleted as a working mom. (She's the breadwinner.) They are actually really sweet, easygoing kids, but of course they are young and still require a lot of care. The 4-year-old starts preschool in the fall, thankfully.

The thing that gets me is ... People usually are shocked when they are hit with the reality of raising young children. Has no one told you this? Everyone knows it's hard. It's difficult to feel sympathetic, esp. if you're having them around 40 when you have less energy.

That said, my friends with older kids seem better, so it's not forever.

You're doing it the right way.

Not you. It's hard, but also pretty cool too. I have 3 kids less than 5 years apart total and can remember when 2 were in diapers and the oldest was just out of his. It was brutal. It also seemed like that time - mid to late 30s - was when I was busiest at work and I remember having that 1000 yard sleep deprivation stare and mild headache for at least a year +. When they become teens and eventually leave the house, new challenges surface, but nothing, and I mean absolutely nada, is harder than the toddler years. Don't let anyone tell you different. Thing is, it will be here and gone for you in an instant and you will miss those little $hits. Irony. Enjoy the exhaustion?

My kids are now mostly grown but I don’t know how I made it. One thing I did was make sure to get the kids to bed early. That would give me the evening and (someone said this) but I liked to get up before them to enjoy my coffee.

I’m not going to lie. It won’t get easier for awhile but you’ll make it.

It gets harder with time. Teenage years are much tougher.

Nobody with kids ever actually says this out loud

it’s reality