Also, FYI -- the more money a woman makes, the less she "needs" a man.
vert accurate and I think that's another thing most guys won't say or mention on the dating sites...I have lots of single females friends who can't get guys. they are all in great jobs and they are wondering why it's not working out or no guy iwill talk to them?!
Are guys just intimidated by women in power roles now? could b an unspoken thing or 2
It's probably 2 things:
- intimidation like you said
- women in "power roles" not willing to slum it or date someone who makes or achieves less. Just because you have a good job (male or female) doesn't make you an amazing person.
I think society's conditioned men/women to just go for the white collar jobs for prestige and blue collar trades are left behind. So it also affects social dating dynamic stuff too and power dynamics. you are right about physiclal stress and tha's why most are probably shooting for white collar forever jobs.
Its about having things in common and shared background/experiences. These things usually, although not infallibly, make you more likely to get on well as a couple. Uneducated men can be ... hard work.
A lot of women in their late twenties/early thirties are wary of single guys of 38. It indicates the guy is a bit immature or not very interested in getting married or having kids, maybe a bit of a player, with a lengthy sexual history (= risk of STD or risky behaviour in the future).
Thats probably why the poster is dating the women he is dating. A lot of women will be turning him down because, basically, he is high risk.
I've gone out with quite a few different women in their 30s and 40s this year, and something that has struck me as pretty odd is that about half of them have voluntarily, unwittingly (I think), told me they are utterly terrible with money. Case in point, I recently went out with a woman who is 41 who needed me to pick her up because her car is having issues. No big deal I thought, it happens, but then she immediately goes on to say she hopes her son's friend can fix it for her as a favor because the shop estimate was $1000 and she "definitely doesn't have that!". Like wtf? How big of a dufus do you have to be to be 40+ years old and not even have $1000? This is not an isolated incident either. Seems like about half the women I've gone out with give some similar story or talk about money being tight, not being able to afford XYZ until their next payday, etc. I had more than $1000 in my savings account as a 5th grader with a paper route. How on Earth is anyone so terrible at life and money management that they can't even save $1000 in 20 years of adulthood? Seems almost hard to believe.
OP, you need to realize that the other half are probably just as terrible with money. There's a reason why the expression "husbanding your resources" means being frugal and judicious in your expenditures. There is no such expression "wifing your resources", but if there was, it would probably mean frittering away money on shoes, clothes, and trinkets.
I think society's conditioned men/women to just go for the white collar jobs for prestige and blue collar trades are left behind. So it also affects social dating dynamic stuff too and power dynamics. you are right about physiclal stress and tha's why most are probably shooting for white collar forever jobs.
Its about having things in common and shared background/experiences. These things usually, although not infallibly, make you more likely to get on well as a couple. Uneducated men can be ... hard work.
A lot of women in their late twenties/early thirties are wary of single guys of 38. It indicates the guy is a bit immature or not very interested in getting married or having kids, maybe a bit of a player, with a lengthy sexual history (= risk of STD or risky behaviour in the future).
Thats probably why the poster is dating the women he is dating. A lot of women will be turning him down because, basically, he is high risk.
I don’t doubt that a lot of women in their late 20s/early 30s do think that a single man at age 38 is possibly a player or has a long sexual history. But I can tell you that when I was that age, I knew a number of men who were that age who were single and it wasn’t because they were players. Some of these women were successful white collar professionals and didn’t know how or where to meet quality women.
Dating is hard for white collar men, or at least they think it is because they are trying to meet women in the wrong places and they kind of give up or stop trying to date for awhile. I knew men who tried to meet women at bars or online and had almost no luck and they wanted to get married, not just hook up. In fact, one of their big complaints about women they had was that they kind of assumed that single women in their 30s really sleep around. So both women and men can get a jaded and assume everyone other than themselves is sleeping around even if they really aren’t.
Its about having things in common and shared background/experiences. These things usually, although not infallibly, make you more likely to get on well as a couple. Uneducated men can be ... hard work.
A lot of women in their late twenties/early thirties are wary of single guys of 38. It indicates the guy is a bit immature or not very interested in getting married or having kids, maybe a bit of a player, with a lengthy sexual history (= risk of STD or risky behaviour in the future).
Thats probably why the poster is dating the women he is dating. A lot of women will be turning him down because, basically, he is high risk.
I don’t doubt that a lot of women in their late 20s/early 30s do think that a single man at age 38 is possibly a player or has a long sexual history. But I can tell you that when I was that age, I knew a number of men who were that age who were single and it wasn’t because they were players. Some of these women were successful white collar professionals and didn’t know how or where to meet quality women.
Dating is hard for white collar men, or at least they think it is because they are trying to meet women in the wrong places and they kind of give up or stop trying to date for awhile. I knew men who tried to meet women at bars or online and had almost no luck and they wanted to get married, not just hook up. In fact, one of their big complaints about women they had was that they kind of assumed that single women in their 30s really sleep around. So both women and men can get a jaded and assume everyone other than themselves is sleeping around even if they really aren’t.
This is a quality post. Seeing as though the majority of marriages end up in divorce or are not pleasant arrangements for those involved, I think it's safe to say that true romance is a fleeting moment. The most realistic best case scenario for most people when it comes to marriage is where there's mutual tolerance past the early phases of the relationship. Most couples really end up as roommates more than anything who are legally bound together.
I think the incessant complaining people do about relationships is representative of the degree of entitlement that most people have in our modern society, or perhaps more charitably put as being more about unrealistic expectations. Is it realistic to expect another independent adult to contort themselves to your interpretation of what an ideal partner is.
alot of the women are super picky too. White collar women with degrees is a privilege thing so they won't consider dudes who may be inot HVAC, trades, etc. So a bit of gatekeeping going on.
Same thing with dudebros/gym rats who will only look for instahot girls but not average girls with great personalities.
Maybe n=1 but as a "white collar woman" who is financially responsible, I would jump at the opportunity to have a partner who is in skilled trades. High level of job security, usually decent to great income, and I respect the heck out of a specialized, technical skill set. Hot.
The main downside is that some of those fields can wreak havoc on a person's body, and I'd be worried about my partner's health as a result.
Yeah. The idea that college-educated people look down on people in the trades is a complete fabrication, IME.
Maybe n=1 but as a "white collar woman" who is financially responsible, I would jump at the opportunity to have a partner who is in skilled trades. High level of job security, usually decent to great income, and I respect the heck out of a specialized, technical skill set. Hot.
The main downside is that some of those fields can wreak havoc on a person's body, and I'd be worried about my partner's health as a result.
Yeah. The idea that college-educated people look down on people in the trades is a complete fabrication, IME.
You just keep repeating that until its true. Its not a question of "looking down" upon people. Its a question of wanting to date and marry someone who has a similar background and experiences to yourself. Of course some professional women will choose not to date blue collar men. I am one of them and most of my friends are too. There are also a relatively small portion of blue collar men who make good partners. They do exist, but they are generally "taken" way before 38.
One of my friends was dating a blue collar guy and she ended it with him because she couldn't trust him to fit in at parties with her friends. His choice of language wasn't suitable, he couldn't make conversation with them and he said he didn't like them. Instead, he wanted her to hang out in bars she didn't particularly feel comfortable in, with people she didn't like. She didn't want to become isolated from her friends in favour of a guy she had been dating for 8 months. So she ditched him. Obviously this can happen with white collar guys too, but its far less likely. They guys' conversation consisted of talk about engines and I mean nothing but engines. He made very little effort with other women and joked about how our place was in the home. Doesn't go down well with doctors and attorneys. He was dismissive of her ambitions and wanted her to adopt the same, relatively low ambition lifestyle as him. He earned ok but was never going to earn as much as my friend if she continued with her career.
It always amuses me when men try to tell women what women are attracted to in men. Mainly because they nearly always get it wrong and actually tell women what men find attractive in other men.
It's fine if you're in your late 30s and still go on dates with a bunch of randoms. But you probably shouldn't be criticizing other people for not having their sh*t together...
This is kind of what I ended up figuring out. I used to be of the mindset that I'd give just about anyone a shot with a first date if they were fairly attractive and no major red flags, but I ended up realizing that one of the drawbacks to becoming successful in life is that the pool of people you're willing to date goes way down, and most people are pretty giant idiots, honestly. Not trying to be misanthropic, but the truth is most people just have lots of really stupid problems that could be easily fixed if they just had their wits about them a bit. Kind of blows my mind how many grown adults are still living life like immature teenagers, spending money impulsively, smoking weed regularly, never exercising, eating junk food every day, etc. It's like taking care of oneself is a totally foreign concept.
I agree that seems weird and self-defeating. I bet a lot of those people would say they are practicing “self-care” or some nonsense.
Yeah. The idea that college-educated people look down on people in the trades is a complete fabrication, IME.
You just keep repeating that until its true. Its not a question of "looking down" upon people. Its a question of wanting to date and marry someone who has a similar background and experiences to yourself. Of course some professional women will choose not to date blue collar men. I am one of them and most of my friends are too. There are also a relatively small portion of blue collar men who make good partners. They do exist, but they are generally "taken" way before 38.
One of my friends was dating a blue collar guy and she ended it with him because she couldn't trust him to fit in at parties with her friends. His choice of language wasn't suitable, he couldn't make conversation with them and he said he didn't like them. Instead, he wanted her to hang out in bars she didn't particularly feel comfortable in, with people she didn't like. She didn't want to become isolated from her friends in favour of a guy she had been dating for 8 months. So she ditched him. Obviously this can happen with white collar guys too, but its far less likely. They guys' conversation consisted of talk about engines and I mean nothing but engines. He made very little effort with other women and joked about how our place was in the home. Doesn't go down well with doctors and attorneys. He was dismissive of her ambitions and wanted her to adopt the same, relatively low ambition lifestyle as him. He earned ok but was never going to earn as much as my friend if she continued with her career.
It always amuses me when men try to tell women what women are attracted to in men. Mainly because they nearly always get it wrong and actually tell women what men find attractive in other men.
that is a good point, guy sounds like a dick anyway and he'd be like that even with a good $ job.
White collar guys can be rude too. I do se what you are saying about people wanting to date with equivalent educaiton levels. Maybe she needed a white collar guy who she could relate to (even in a different field).
I've gone out with quite a few different women in their 30s and 40s this year, and something that has struck me as pretty odd is that about half of them have voluntarily, unwittingly (I think), told me they are utterly terrible with money. Case in point, I recently went out with a woman who is 41 who needed me to pick her up because her car is having issues. No big deal I thought, it happens, but then she immediately goes on to say she hopes her son's friend can fix it for her as a favor because the shop estimate was $1000 and she "definitely doesn't have that!". Like wtf? How big of a dufus do you have to be to be 40+ years old and not even have $1000? This is not an isolated incident either. Seems like about half the women I've gone out with give some similar story or talk about money being tight, not being able to afford XYZ until their next payday, etc. I had more than $1000 in my savings account as a 5th grader with a paper route. How on Earth is anyone so terrible at life and money management that they can't even save $1000 in 20 years of adulthood? Seems almost hard to believe.
OP, you need to realize that the other half are probably just as terrible with money. There's a reason why the expression "husbanding your resources" means being frugal and judicious in your expenditures. There is no such expression "wifing your resources", but if there was, it would probably mean frittering away money on shoes, clothes, and trinkets.
“Half the women I got out with…” OP should have spent some of that $1000 on a proper education in 5th grade. Now he’s mentally feeble that he’s even getting rejected by women who are similarly uneducated and is taking out his frustration to slam them on a message board.
Help us build the best running shoe review site for a chance to win a LetsRun t-shirt.Help us build the best running shoe review site for a chance to win one of 10 LetsRun t-shirts.