I have no idea why this post is getting down voted so hard - the op asked a reasonable question and isn't saying he's mad at her, just that his feelings are hurt. I think that's understandable because I had no idea kids weren't generally allowed at weddings either.
I have no idea why this post is getting down voted so hard - the op asked a reasonable question and isn't saying he's mad at her, just that his feelings are hurt. I think that's understandable because I had no idea kids weren't generally allowed at weddings either.
Thank you for understanding. I was asking a reasonable question to this group. I asked because I have never really thought about it until now. Which alludes to some posters saying how people have a hard time understanding each other’s situation.
to answer other posters’ questions, this relative is a cousin. Not immediate family.
another small detail is that the way they told us was not cool. They were not explicit in their invitation. They just put our last names on the invitation. They didn’t say “no kids”. I had to call them and clarify. Her fiancé made an off hand comment to my wife a few months ago how his friends who are flying into town are finding a babysitter. It’s not on their website either. I believed the prudent thing to do was call and ask. When they told me on the phone, I said “ok, you got it. we’ll make it happen.”
2 questions. what would happen if I hadn’t clarified?
what will happen when 1 of the 350 (yes, it’s an insanely massive wedding) attendees will inevitably bring their kids because they assume it’s allowed?
Went to a wedding where the kids came to the church and then they had a kids room at the reception w pizza, movies, games etc and a couple high school age baby sitters. Was great but pr cost an extra 500 bucks or more for all that.
If your son’s name wasn’t explicitly on the invitation, it means he wasn’t invited. It probably said Mr and Mrs Anti-Kid Sentiment, which means you are the two members of the family who are invited— not your 3 year old. Standard wedding invitation etiquette.
Nothing is better than a screaming baby during the ceremony. After all a wedding is about getting ready to make a lot of babies. And during the wedding party a couple of 5-10 year olds running around are a great excuse to get out of a boring conversation.
My niece had a no kids rule at her wedding even though no one attending except her cousin had a young child (who is well behaved). My niece was also a bridezilla who had to control every aspect of her wedding & saw kids as a wild card. She also Last minute banned her fathers side of the family from attending bc she thought they might be a problem due to family drama. My attitude is, it’s one of the last times you’re allowed to call all the shots & have every one bend towards you so enjoy it while you can, then it’s back to reality
Just don't go? You and your brood won't be missed I assure you.
Nobody wants to see your kids. Nobody cares about your kids except you and their grandparents. Do you take your kids to work because they're so adorable that everyone must want to gush on how cute they are?
A lot of posts bashing kids' behavior when the worst behavior I've seen at weddings is from late teens to mid 30s who are drunk and obnoxious. That's tolerated, even laughed at, but a kid getting cranky is somehow a real event killer for some people.
Let me just tell everyone that is getting married this right now.
NOBODY wants to go to you frigggin wedding AND reception AND rehearsal AND blah blah blah. NO-FRIGGIN-BODY!
Actually, you family and close friends would be various degrees of interested in going to the actual wedding. Especially if you (or the family) is religious, Catholic or whatever. Its a big deal then and people will be thrilled to witness your vows and go to a wedding mass (or whatever your faith calls it). That is the important part.
Nobody except your drunk uncles want to attend anything requiring burning a day, wearing a suit (or worse) while listening to bad dj music, dancing (?), and eating caterer food while drinking cheap booze.
We ALL literally have better things to do. ALL OF US!!!!
So have your marriage ceremony, then maybe have a brief reception onsite (cake and thats about it) and move on to your honeymoon.
We all have better things to do than watch you and your future ex-spouse make googly eyes at each other. Seriously. Also, you'll save a ton of money. Instead of a 40K reception and a 15K honeymoon, go on a 55K honeymoon. Or buy a car. Or pay off debt.
Literally 80% of the people at your reception hoo-ho are grinding their teeth and wishing they were doing something else.
It's legitimately surprising to me that this seems to be a fairly common sentiment. Maybe I'm just lucky to have friends and family that are more fun than average. Maybe it's just that I'm not the type who would even entertain the thought of going to a wedding I wasn't interested in. But every wedding I've ever been to in my adult life has been meaningful and enjoyable.
The idea that sharing an important day with a close friend and then partying with the rest of my best friends is a lame and boring waste of a day is just completely foreign to me. And if I didn't care enough about a person to find their wedding meaningful or didn't like the other attendees enough to enjoy hanging around with them, I wouldn't be going to the wedding in the first place.
Let me just tell everyone that is getting married this right now.
NOBODY wants to go to you frigggin wedding AND reception AND rehearsal AND blah blah blah. NO-FRIGGIN-BODY!
Actually, you family and close friends would be various degrees of interested in going to the actual wedding. Especially if you (or the family) is religious, Catholic or whatever. Its a big deal then and people will be thrilled to witness your vows and go to a wedding mass (or whatever your faith calls it). That is the important part.
Nobody except your drunk uncles want to attend anything requiring burning a day, wearing a suit (or worse) while listening to bad dj music, dancing (?), and eating caterer food while drinking cheap booze.
We ALL literally have better things to do. ALL OF US!!!!
So have your marriage ceremony, then maybe have a brief reception onsite (cake and thats about it) and move on to your honeymoon.
We all have better things to do than watch you and your future ex-spouse make googly eyes at each other. Seriously. Also, you'll save a ton of money. Instead of a 40K reception and a 15K honeymoon, go on a 55K honeymoon. Or buy a car. Or pay off debt.
Literally 80% of the people at your reception hoo-ho are grinding their teeth and wishing they were doing something else.
Lol nice cope.
Does convincing yourself that weddings are no fun make you feel better about only being invited weddings of family members?
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It's difficult for people without kids to see it from the perspective of people with kids and vice versa.
When we got married I don't think we really had any small kids in our immediate friends/family group but I remember thinking it was a little strange that some extended family brought their young kids.
Fast forward to having young kids of our own. One of my wife's best friends was getting married half way across the country. We totally would have gone if not for the no kid policy. Like I'm supposed to take the family on an airplane/drive to some difficult to reach Location and then hire a stranger to babysit my kids while I go to your wedding? It just seemed crazy that they couldn't see how prohibitive that was.
What happens when those who don't have to fly halfway across the country and live locally want to bring their kids as well? Whatever the thought process is for the bride and groom, it is likely to be across the board.
If your son’s name wasn’t explicitly on the invitation, it means he wasn’t invited. It probably said Mr and Mrs Anti-Kid Sentiment, which means you are the two members of the family who are invited— not your 3 year old. Standard wedding invitation etiquette.
You are wrong. The invitation had our last name on it. That’s it. “To: The ______’s”
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