I'm just really scared that I will regret quitting.
Why would regret quitting something you hate doing?
I don't know, I probably won't, I'll probably be a lot happier, it's just hard for me to quit something that I worked so hard for. Also, I used to really love it, like I was obsessed with it, and I remember how happy it made me, and that feeling is just in the back of my head, and it makes me second guess my choice.
I mostly just hate it because 1) huge pressure to achieve certain times, 2) I just hate the feeling of pushing myself and feeling that burn, 3) I run about twice the number of miles per week that the rest of the girls on the team do (since my dad is the coach), and it's exhausting and horrible, but unfortunately the only way for me to consistently improve, 4) I am not a person who can eat whatever they want, so I basically kill myself to maintain the "perfect running body", and 5) there are other things I want to do that I can't because running takes up so much of my time.
Maybe...
1- Back off your expectations and focus more on what's fun and interesting to you;
2- You're probably pushing way too hard in practice, and overdoing it. Try backing off and running by feel and for fun for awhile. You should be able to find ways to enjoy what you're doing;
3- Cut back on your mileage. Just do the mileage that you want to do and that you feel is best for you, because you're the one who knows yourself better than anyone else. You can improve without maxing your mileage, and constant improvement is not necessary anyway. A long term outlook is much better.
4- Don't kill yourself to be perfect, because that won't work out very well. Pick foods that you like that are also good for you. There should be plenty to choose from. Try backing off on the pressure that you put on yourself to do well and please Dad. First do what makes you happy #1, and then go from there.
5- What else do you want to do? Maybe you can make time for both and come to a balance between them.
You're becoming an adult, and what you decide to do is completely up to you.
1- Back off your expectations and focus more on what's fun and interesting to you;
2- You're probably pushing way too hard in practice, and overdoing it. Try backing off and running by feel and for fun for awhile. You should be able to find ways to enjoy what you're doing;
3- Cut back on your mileage. Just do the mileage that you want to do and that you feel is best for you, because you're the one who knows yourself better than anyone else. You can improve without maxing your mileage, and constant improvement is not necessary anyway. A long term outlook is much better.
4- Don't kill yourself to be perfect, because that won't work out very well. Pick foods that you like that are also good for you. There should be plenty to choose from. Try backing off on the pressure that you put on yourself to do well and please Dad. First do what makes you happy #1, and then go from there.
5- What else do you want to do? Maybe you can make time for both and come to a balance between them.
You're becoming an adult, and what you decide to do is completely up to you.
thanks for the advice, that was very detailed and helpful :), and yeah, those are all great points that I should probably try, I guess if I did all those things I probably would not hate it as much
Curious if you are also a 4.0 student. It could be that you are a type A overachiever and you will always feel stressed about something.
Talk to both of your parents at the same time about this. As a parent, if I had a HS kid who wanted to quit an activity then I'd want them to pick up some other interest. Too much free time for a HS kid is often not a good thing. Now if you are a B student looking to put in more study time to improve your GPA for college then that qualifies.
As others mentioned you have other options. Dial down your competition goals and training. You could shut this season down and decide about your senior year over the summer. Maybe you run XC in the fall and skip track in the spring. For track you might change events to shake things up (if you run 1600/3200 become a 400/800 runner).
Running for me in HS and college (I was on a strong DI team) was a stress release from academics which I worried more about (engineering major). Working out with my team was a refreshing daily break to maintain my sanity. My training time commitment was a manageable 1-2 hours per day even in college, so I had plenty of time to socialize. These days you'd have to run DIII to do that.
Why would regret quitting something you hate doing?
I don't know, I probably won't, I'll probably be a lot happier, it's just hard for me to quit something that I worked so hard for. Also, I used to really love it, like I was obsessed with it, and I remember how happy it made me, and that feeling is just in the back of my head, and it makes me second guess my choice.
Talk to your dad about why you want to quit and then take the summer off. If you end up missing running, you can rejoin the team in the fall. If you don't miss it, then you know you made the right choice. The sport will always be here if you happen to change your mind in the future.
Curious if you are also a 4.0 student. It could be that you are a type A overachiever and you will always feel stressed about something.
Talk to both of your parents at the same time about this. As a parent, if I had a HS kid who wanted to quit an activity then I'd want them to pick up some other interest. Too much free time for a HS kid is often not a good thing. Now if you are a B student looking to put in more study time to improve your GPA for college then that qualifies.
As others mentioned you have other options. Dial down your competition goals and training. You could shut this season down and decide about your senior year over the summer. Maybe you run XC in the fall and skip track in the spring. For track you might change events to shake things up (if you run 1600/3200 become a 400/800 runner).
Running for me in HS and college (I was on a strong DI team) was a stress release from academics which I worried more about (engineering major). Working out with my team was a refreshing daily break to maintain my sanity. My training time commitment was a manageable 1-2 hours per day even in college, so I had plenty of time to socialize. These days you'd have to run DIII to do that.
Good luck.
yeah I am a straight A student, and I am definitely a type A person, I try to overachieve in anything I do, I just can't help it, and yup I am constantly stressed out about something (school, running, volunteering (i volunteer at a hospital twice a week), friends, future plans, all of it). Personally, running is not refreshing for me (it used to be), now it just contributes to the stress haha, but anyways, thank for the advice, those are some really good tips!
If you can’t say no to things now you are going to have a long life of appeasing people for the wrong reasons. The moment I stop having fun with it, I’m done with it.
okay, I just wanted to update you guys (since so many of u responded), that I talked to my dad (thanks for convincing me to do it, I'm not sure I would have if I hadn't posted on here). Anyways, here's how it went. So, first of all it took a good 10 mins to convince him I was not pranking him, cuz he did not believe me, anyways, he was obviously a bit sad/disappointed, but more so because I didn't tell him I don't like it anymore. Anyways, he told me to take the weekend off (I think he thinks I'm just stressed out and being dramatic, and I'll love it again on monday lol), and then I'm obviously going to finish the track season as planned (might as well since I worked so hard for it), and then he told me to take like 2 weeks off if I still hate it at the end of the season, and then I guess we'll go from there. It felt really good to finally tell him, and thanks for all of the advice! I don't know what I am going to do after the 2 weeks off, but I guess I'll see (maybe I'll post an update if I feel like it). Anyways, have a nice day and thanks to everyone who gave me advice :)
okay, I just wanted to update you guys (since so many of u responded), that I talked to my dad (thanks for convincing me to do it, I'm not sure I would have if I hadn't posted on here). Anyways, here's how it went. So, first of all it took a good 10 mins to convince him I was not pranking him, cuz he did not believe me, anyways, he was obviously a bit sad/disappointed, but more so because I didn't tell him I don't like it anymore. Anyways, he told me to take the weekend off (I think he thinks I'm just stressed out and being dramatic, and I'll love it again on monday lol), and then I'm obviously going to finish the track season as planned (might as well since I worked so hard for it), and then he told me to take like 2 weeks off if I still hate it at the end of the season, and then I guess we'll go from there. It felt really good to finally tell him, and thanks for all of the advice! I don't know what I am going to do after the 2 weeks off, but I guess I'll see (maybe I'll post an update if I feel like it). Anyways, have a nice day and thanks to everyone who gave me advice :)
That's great.
And remember you still can go out for some runs. And there is a whole world of exciting races and stuff too do out there once you are an adult.
All the best and I hope you keep running for the rest of your life
It's good to read that the meeting with your father didn't go badly. Seems like a good plan to finish out the season then take some time off and see how you feel. Stay open-minded if you felt like you were getting pressure from your father. He may change how he inter-acts with you on this if he thinks deeply about your comments. I was a little over-bearing with my son and his swimming when he was an age-grouper. I had given him some technical tips at a young age that dramatically improved his race results. He then switched to another swim club with much better coaches, but I keep giving him advice and prodding him. At a certain point, he told me he didn't want me to do that any more, that he trusted his coaches and he felt he was in good hands. I will be always grateful he told me that. I backed off completely, became his fan and dad again, not his coach, and he had a very successful and enjoyable high school and college swim career after that, including being state champion 2 times and runner-up 3 times.
If your father is pressuring you and that is a big part of your lack of enjoyment of the sport, be patient and see if he backs off after having read your post here and discussing this with you. It's possible he will and you may find you still love the sport and your best most fun days in the sport are ahead of you. And by best, I mean you will be enjoying running and competing regardless of the outcomes of your races. Good luck with whatever decision you make !!
It's good to read that the meeting with your father didn't go badly. Seems like a good plan to finish out the season then take some time off and see how you feel. Stay open-minded if you felt like you were getting pressure from your father. He may change how he inter-acts with you on this if he thinks deeply about your comments. I was a little over-bearing with my son and his swimming when he was an age-grouper. I had given him some technical tips at a young age that dramatically improved his race results. He then switched to another swim club with much better coaches, but I keep giving him advice and prodding him. At a certain point, he told me he didn't want me to do that any more, that he trusted his coaches and he felt he was in good hands. I will be always grateful he told me that. I backed off completely, became his fan and dad again, not his coach, and he had a very successful and enjoyable high school and college swim career after that, including being state champion 2 times and runner-up 3 times.
If your father is pressuring you and that is a big part of your lack of enjoyment of the sport, be patient and see if he backs off after having read your post here and discussing this with you. It's possible he will and you may find you still love the sport and your best most fun days in the sport are ahead of you. And by best, I mean you will be enjoying running and competing regardless of the outcomes of your races. Good luck with whatever decision you make !!
thanks for the advice! yeah, I think it's a good plan, I'll be able to make a decision that is not rash or impulsive. also, I don't think he is the reason I don't really like running, but maybe he'll be able to help me with how I feel about it now that he knows. anyways, thanks for taking the time to help me out, and have a great day!!
I had a somewhat similar situation my last year of college, minus the father as coach. I had the same attitude towards running as you. I ended up having a horrible senior year, ran slower than I did in high school. Years later in retrospect, I wish I had just quit and spent more time being social, making friends, and not being OCD about the one aspect of my life that was falling apart. Once you are done running, you realize how little a pr matters in the real world. The world won’t end if you quit. I have no advice on how to go about doing it, but if this is truly how you feel about running, I don’t think quitting is an overreaction.
All of the advice so far has been sincere and helpful, but that's really not what Letsrun is all about. Let's approach it a little differently. Perhaps you should start a general rebellion. Start smoking pot, change your music and style, get some new questionable friends. Be asleep/awake at odd hours. Skip some classes, angrily complain about migraines if questioned. Your dad will soon forget all about running and be eager to settle for a more positive predictable you.
I had a somewhat similar situation my last year of college, minus the father as coach. I had the same attitude towards running as you. I ended up having a horrible senior year, ran slower than I did in high school. Years later in retrospect, I wish I had just quit and spent more time being social, making friends, and not being OCD about the one aspect of my life that was falling apart. Once you are done running, you realize how little a pr matters in the real world. The world won’t end if you quit. I have no advice on how to go about doing it, but if this is truly how you feel about running, I don’t think quitting is an overreaction.
yea, I guess that's true, I mean my running hasn't fallen apart yet lol (at least my times haven't), but yeah, I guess a pr isn't really significant in real life, and the world probably won't end if I quit haha. thanks for the advice :)
Hi, I'm a female high school runner, and I am looking to quit running. Just to give you a bit of background info, I've been running since I was about 7, my dad is my high school coach and I was first in my state last year in my best distance, (we are a weaker state but still). My point is, I'm not bad, and having my dad be my coach, it's pretty hard to quit. I don't know how to tell him.
To give you some context, I basically just hate running, like HATE HATE, and have hated it for the past year or so. I mostly just hate it because 1) huge pressure to achieve certain times, 2) I just hate the feeling of pushing myself and feeling that burn, 3) I run about twice the number of miles per week that the rest of the girls on the team do (since my dad is the coach), and it's exhausting and horrible, but unfortunately the only way for me to consistently improve, 4) I am not a person who can eat whatever they want, so I basically kill myself to maintain the "perfect running body", and 5) there are other things I want to do that I can't because running takes up so much of my time. Basically, I hate it, and I have tried really hard to change that attitude, but I can't and it's really hard to stay motivated to do something you hate. Anyways, I don't know how to break it to my dad that I don't want to do it anymore and not have him be shocked/disappointed/upset about it. I really want to have a normal and fun senior year next year, so how should I go about quitting this stupid sport?
Show or send him this exact message, he will understand and I am sure he will be the first to support you! You can't be more transparent and honest than this!
ihatetorun wrote: the thing that kind of stopped me from quitting is that after I finish a race/workout, I tell myself "see, that wasn't that bad, don't waste 10 years of effort, you'll regret it if you quit, and you'll never be able to get back to that level". This has made it really really hard to justify quitting, but I feel like it would make me happier overall, and I suppose I could always go back to running just for fun in a couple years if I see that I miss it.
When I was young I was very good at a couple things (none of them running), and I quit both during or right after grade 12. I don't regret it now (I'm middle age, so it was over half my life ago), though at times I wonder how good I could have been I'd I'd continued. It was weird for about a year afterward, but then it was fine.
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