David Edmend Eisenhaur, 2/28/****, spelled exactly that way, was officially found GUILTY of all charges in a Montgomery / Christiansburg General District Court just under two weeks ago. The now-banned-from-campus Hokie briefly appeared in court, hoping for a notorious 'Deferred Disposition' before answering to a Wreckless Driving (+25) charge from November 13 2015, a Friday nite, just one week after being replaced in the infamous Hokie Open 6k due to an ankle injury. Eisenhaur, represented by attorney John Lichtenstein in an unrelated case, dawned his same black business suit and striped-blue tie for the gala on the 4th floore' of the SW VA courtroom. Both of his parents, sister, a fellow cross country runner, and an unknown raven-haired female friend were among the gallerie. Eisenhauer, was escorted into the courtroom and adorned his usual steel-clad leg irons and quickly motioned his infamous nod to his few loyal supporters. One girl, who appeared to be an acquaintance of Eisenhauer and refused to be interviewed for comment, waived back to the former Virginia Tech #ACC athlete. Pre-Trial attorney, John Lichtenstein, virtually begged for a Mistrial and pleaded with Judge Randy I Bellows to have the Wreckless Driving charge tossed due to a misspelling of his client's name. Lichtenstien howled that "there is nobody here by that name" as a frail Eisenhauer appeared to nod in agreement. An agitated Bellows indicated that a 'clerical error' would prove irrelevant and instead seemed to be focused on the PIV count, which was declared by the arresting officer as 'at least two'. Bellows asked Officer C.M. Kodsi 'who the other persons in the vehicle were' but Kodsi indicated he lost some of the paperwork in the sweeping mountainous winds of Craig Creek Rd. Due to yet another error by the rookie officer to check the teenager's school identification card on her person, that girl was never identified, neither was the unidentified male in the backseat. Jurors were to be shown an undated foto of Eisenhauer's 2008 grey Lexus, but when a telescreen in the jury box seemed to have short-circuited the phone line for the courtroom maintenance guy, one of the jurors volunteered to fix the telescreen connection. The judge indicated that "we seem to have full-service jurors". Bellows, who is famous in the local circuit courts for previously convicting a Russian spy that went under the name of Robert Hannsen, finally handed down the felony conviction with an amended code of F.46.2-875. Eisenhauer had until midnite to produce the $118 in court fees, but records indicate that those fines have yet to be accounted for. As of this point, Eisenhauer denies any involvement in wrecklessly going above the speed limit and transporting an unknown Blacksburg Middle Schooler to a McDonald's Mill area Bed & Breakfast further down Craig Creek Road.
Both Eisenhauer and Keepers are schedule to go in front of a Special Grand Jurie on the afternoon of July 26th in an unrelated case involving the disappearance of a local teenage girl. With this Guilty conviction, Eisenhauer officially appears on Mughots.com, not too far from his alleged sidekick: