Post-nuptial shutoff?

I bet your wife also treasures every moment of your Holy Sanctimony.

How does about 3 days into it sound? I will never lie about my feelings toward waiting until marriage. We both waited and, what for? I am a slow learner so I gave up after the first 100 consecutive rejections. I love her dearly but guys, do not marry if she has kids and you do not. Thank goodness I really enjoy my work, running and my life in general. It makes being almost celebate tolerable.

Once or twice every 10-18 months for us whether I am ready or not. Do not expect any enthusiasm, communication or emotion from her.

When it comes to hugs, given daily on my part, other general non-sexual affection also...nothing from her.

Ladies, you are just asking for problems if you do not want to be married in every sense of the definition.

My high school coached once joked with me "that the best way to get your girlfriend to stop having sex with you is to marry her." If only he knew how profound a statement that was. The thing is, in my own personal case, it's not that we NEVER have sex. It's just that I always have to initiate it, and sometimes it feels like I'm forcing her against her will. It's lost almost all of its intimacy, and she doesn't even pretend to like it half the time. Yes we have kids, and yes, we are tired, but it's amazing how dumb women are when they cannot realize that they could make 90% of the perceived problems in the relationship go away by merely servicing their husbands more frequently. To not get that and to not execute it is sheer stupidity, because they could generally get their way almost all the time with that simple gesture.

First of all, Little Missy, please proofread your copy. The word "lessen" is a HOMONYM. The proper word is "lesson."

Second of all, why is it SO easy to guess that you, my dear poster, are a WOMAN? And a HORMONAL woman at that?

You would be well served to wait until you pass 30 years of age until you even consider marriage because it may just take you that long to grow up. Here endeth the lessen, my gift to you.[/quote]

First of all, Little Missy, please proofread your copy. The word "lessen" is a HOMONYM. The proper word is "lesson."

Second of all, why is it SO easy to guess that you, my dear poster, are a WOMAN? And a HORMONAL woman at that?[/quote]

Ha!

The "unmarriage" trend:

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=7279&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=9066

I am not sure I understand the point of "unmarriage."

Apparently, from the article, it is basically the same thing as being married, especially with the "legal partnership agreements" and everything.

I am not saying everyone should get married, but isn't it kind of stupid to say "I am never getting married," and then live with someone forever, have kids, share bank accounts, share benefits, have binding legal agreements in case of break-up?

I mean, what is the difference?

Seems childish...

...and speaking of children, how do they benefit from the ability to easily walk away from a relationship?

I think a lot of it has to do with religion. Maybe these people just aren't into a religious ceremony but do have a commitment to another person. I wasn't trying to say one way was better, I just saw the article and thought it was funny at the end where the guy said something like "it's like being married but we still have sex."

I thought that was funny too, but it seems like the whole thing is based on people with chips on their shoulders.

Religion is all but gone from marriage these days anyway, so I don't think that is really the reason. Just head down to city hall, or Vegas baby, Vegas.

Wow, I start a thread and it gets mentioned TWICE on the front page. I guess this is the Zenith of my

pseudo-running career? LOL.

A Married Woman wrote:

Also, women like to hear you say how beautiful they are. Don't be afraid to compliment her. We really do like to hear it.

Yep. Every woman has told me this, but it's always so damn tough (i'm sure for a lot of men too) even though i think it in my heart.

why is it so tough for us to say feelings to women?

men? women? what do you guys think?

This thread is bigger than you 'need data.' Thanks for starting the thread but don't take credit for everyone's input.

I wasn't, are you insecure?

Yes, very. You've just wounded me for months.

My apologies and condolences. No harm was intended.

Need Data,

I want to thank you for starting this thing because you showed me that I have it pretty good. I have been married for 26 years and, yes, I'm still getting it. All that stuff about putting beans in a jar during the first year of marriage, that is very different from my experience. Our frequency has decreased from 3 times per week in the first few years of marriage to maybe 1.3 times per week now. I would prefer more, but now I realize I am doing OK.

I think the guys have to share some of the blame. First, you do need to tell your wife that she is a hot tomato. I do and I believe it. But you don't have to suck up to her either. Also, sometimes you have to wield the hammer a bit too. If a week has gone by and she keeps postponing, try the direct approach. Tell her that it's been a week, so what gives? Set up an appointment, if that's what it takes. And don't take no for an answer for too long. Sex is part of marriage and lack of sex is grounds for divorce. If she give you a hard time, tell her you are going to talk to your priest or rabbi. If she still hesitates, do it!

I am completely baffled by a guy that says that he has a great wife, except that they don't have sex. If she loves you, she should certainly be willing to make love once a week. Is that so tough? If you have a good marriage, you should be able to solve the sex problem. Of course, if your marriage basically sucks, then the sex is just a sympton of much bigger problems. In this case, set yourself free. No point in living with a witch.

Anyway, thanks again Need Data

You're welcome. I honestly never expected this thread to grow to this extent.

I ducked the marriage noose twice, and now fully realize how lucky I was.

bump

You may have been lucky or you may have missed the chance to grow as a person.

Sex is important and I will admit that the frequency in my relationship has gone down over the years. But here is a news flash.......More to life than sex........

Without marriage you will never go through the tough growth times. (intervals for life). It is much easier to become a self absorbed jerk, afterall you really only have to care for yourself.

You will never know the joy of watching your son win his first race. Not just someone you sired but your son!!!!

You will never experience the joy of seeing the pure love and joy in your three year olds eyes as she sees you coming home from work. When she yells "daddy's home" and squeals as she runs out to see you.

You will never know the pain of watching you teenage daughter stay home on prom night.

When you have kids Life changes. It really changes. Alot of the change is difficult some of it is the most wonderful things you can ever hope for in this life.

You see I am not so sure that you dodged a bullet you may have missed the oppurtunity of a lifetime.