took a crap in a ground round parking lot.
took a crap in a ground round parking lot.
Drank too much standing outside on a cold deck with brother-in-laws on Christmas eve. Went back inside and apparently made incoherent conversations about vegetables to my nephews at the dinner table and then got up from the dinner table and passed out spooning my dog in the living room.
Thankfully my mother-in-law wasn't home or she may have tossed me into a snow bank.
Never was a heavy drinker, low tolerance, but was a regular binge drinker in early to mid 20s. Worst, most lame, slept with this girl whom I had dated off and on for the year. Maybe 4 or 5 dates. She was nice but I wasn't all that attracted. Anyway it was the end of the year and we drank too much and that led to her room. Next morning she asked, do you love me? UHH. I Like you. I didn't call. Didn't write. Awkward. Next up and last crazy one ever. Was in grad school but rooming with undergrads. Had a wild spring party and got into massive wrestle match with a friend. Got sick and puked. A woman friend got me cleaned up and put me to bed maybe 2 AM. I reached out and started kissing her madly. She was probably shocked. She left town soon but did write off and on for a while. That was the last time I really got drunk. Also fainted a few times after just 2 or 3 beers. Poof out! A coupe times out on dates too. Kind of embarrassing.
Fondled my 12-year-old stepbrother. I was too drunk to tell if he liked it or not.
Basil H. Rathbone wrote:
The next morning she told me she was married but hadn't had sex for a year and a half. She gave me a framed painting of Noah's Ark, which I still have in my apartment.
This is one of the funniest freaking things in the whole thread.
went to a grad school sponsored party. got wasted and punched my friend (CS) in the balls.
next day was meeting friends for lunch including CS. one friend picked me up (KC). On the ride to lunch KC said, so CS got punched in the balls last night. I said, "Really? By who?" KC said, "By you dude. You punched him in the nuts, he keeled over and then you told him to, 'get up you fuking pusy'"
I apologized to CS at lunch.
I have done bizarre things while drunk in numerous meetings with executives of large corporations and have never had any issues. Why in the world would anyone get angry about this?
Granted, I work in marketing and usually deal with CMOs. CMOs tend to be the more "socially aware" executives...
I am in my mid-30s and doing bizarre things while drunk came of age with my generation.
Broke into a major division 1 football stadium in order to piss on the 50 yard line.
Just a few on my part:
High School
- Had a senior trip to the state capital the next day, had to get up at 5am for it. My friends and I had decided to drink the night before. I stole the vodka out of my parents cabinet (still do this, they get a lot of it as gifts). Well my controlling friend who provided no alcohol starts drinking his fair share and mixing it. The other provider and I take the half he didn't waste and drink his whiskey and my vodka straight. After this we went down to his brothers college friend in the basement with weed. I have 1 beer then proceed to pour the second over. After this I am told that I puked in a bathroom knelled over the glass covered floor. then jumped on the stoners pizzas, crawled a lot blacked out woke up at 445, showered got on the bus to go, puked on the way into a trashcan in front of my social studies teacher.
- few more drunken highlights, in high school, rented a hotel room with all my friends. filled the ice pail provided with about 10 beers and drank it with 2 or 3 friends, trashed the place, walked a mile or two to a mcd drive thru
College
- made out with a nasty chick, while dating my gf, confessed and worked through it
- ran a beer mile around the block in my friends off campus place in my boxers and shoes. Only finisher everyone else either puked or quit
-drove home 60 miles from a kegger to my parents house. woke up going 65 cruise control in a ditch, steered onto the road and spun about 3 times before I hit the breaks, sobered up very fast after that and prayed like I never have a church the next day. Also you can get away with this in rural SD at 4am, no one was on the road but I should be dead from that
-puked out of a moving car, puke froze on the car
-walked into a old ladies house with a dog barking crazy at me, thinking it was the party I was meant to be at I bolted fast in surprise.
Conclusion
- good stories, but a lot of stupid mistakes made
Can't really talk about it, got me arrested and am currently under investigation and going to trial for it in a month.....Let's just say it was incredibly dumb....after trial i will explain
got drunk and went to a family barn dance at an RV park. Out of more than 100 people the anouncer picks me out of the crowd to lead the "I don't wanna be a chicken dance".
I did some stuff that wasn't very funny or cute.
But if you want something that is cool and cute, I played a show with my band and we were all naked and painted black, with pumpkins on our heads. I was the bass player in a band called Valley Fever. We played at a party at the Cyclone warehouse San Francisco on the warf. After the show I went outside and there was pedal boat there, so I got in it and pedaled across the channel to another warehouse on the other side of the water where there was a rave happening. I pedaled up to the shore there, and walked in the rear door of the warehouse into the rave, and danced for a while and met a girl who was on X and asked her if she wanted to get into my boat and pedal around the channel. She said ok and we went and pedaled around for about an hour with a bottle of Jack Daniels. She said she worked in the city as a stripper. She said me showing up at the rave painted all black and taking her for a ride in a boat seemed unreal. Then we pedaled back to the rave and I dropped her off. Apparently she came there with some guy. He was waiting for her at the shore, worried about her. I never found out who she was but it was a fun and memorable night.
Was at a party my junior year in high school. The kid having the party said his parent would be there. There was a pool. We all swam. The parents were there. The mom grabbed my junk. 3x. I came by her room later in the party and banged the shit out of her while her husband was down in the basement watching their kid play pool with drunk friends.
I left like nothing ever happened. Never told anyone. And, to my knowledge, no one ever found out.
50c wrote:
Was at a party my junior year in high school. The kid having the party said his parent would be there. There was a pool. We all swam. The parents were there. The mom grabbed my junk. 3x. I came by her room later in the party and banged the shit out of her while her husband was down in the basement watching their kid play pool with drunk friends.
I left like nothing ever happened. Never told anyone. And, to my knowledge, no one ever found out.
Ew
Speaking of ew, there have been probably 3 separate occasions where I stopped during sex/kissing to puke, then resumed directly after. What's wrong with the girls who allowed that? Beats me (literally).
I took a dump in the shower at the local police station.
What was the story/what ever happened with the whole court thing? The trial has to be over by now
There was a bar at the college I went to that all the frat stars and sorostitutes went to. My track bros and I would go just to grind and drink for cheap. One night after getting shut down by the sorostitues multiple times, my friend and I start a fight out front of the bar then run back to the back. We were trying to create a distraction out front so no one would notice when we snuck back to the back where the kegs/beers were stored in the walk in fridge. Well it worked and we eneded up hauling a full keg of Coors Light, 4 cases of Dos Equis/Corona and 4 handles of Aristocrat out and stashing them out in the woods behind the bar. While we were carrying the last of it out of the walk in fridge, an employee of the bar walks up and sees what we're doing. He starts yelling "hey GTFO" blah blah blah. The bad part is that there was a literal cliff behind the bar that we had to climb up to get away. One of my shoes gets stuck in the mud on the cliff so I just ditch the other one. After we get away and hide out for a minute, my bro who was with me ends up stealing a bike and riding it back to my house, about a mile away. I stay and continue to stake out for another 15 minutes or so. I then get bored and run back to my house, totally drunk and shoeless. When I get back, my bro and another bro are destroying the bike and getting out all their agression built up from the night. We then drunk drive back to the bar, sneak over the fence, and transport all the alcohol from the woods to my car. This was towards the end of the school year, so we had a week long party at my house with the alcohol, free of charge of course. It was a pretty fun week.
bump?
lets see... driving way too much. crashed a couple of times, only minor damage to my car, didnt get caught. only got caught once, passed out at drive thru. very stupid, but thankfully no one was ever hurt.
lost my virginity to an ugly chick who i later found out when she was in elementary school, people did not know if she was a dude or a chick. she looks much better now, but still, you get the point. goddammed flip cup.
in college, (small not very good D1) after outdoor conference we always had a case race with our coach. at the time, he didnt really give a shit about his job and i dont blame him, they didnt pay shit and we werent very good. we won 2 out of 3 then he went to a different school. one of those nights a sober teammate was driving coachs car and i puked out the side. he didnt care at all even though he just bought the car with winnings from a recent marathon win. he is still coaching at a much better school now and i dont think he still has the car.
Broke into a house just to poop in their toilet