I can't remember. Passed out.
I can't remember. Passed out.
Ran out of Rizla paper to roll a joint and used a page from the Bible instead.
1) Walked home to my dorm totally wasted with some of my roommates/all track girls and we were absolutely starving. It was probably about 1 am and we knew if we tried ordering pizza it would take close to an hour or longer for delivery. Right outside of our dorm is a Domino's delivery truck and apparently the delivery dude left the doors unlocked and he must have gone in a nearby dorm to make a delivery. We proceded to go in the back seat of the truck and stole a large pizza and cheesy bread. Pizza never tasted so good.
2) The dumbest thing I've ever done was drive home drunk one summer (living with my parents at the time). As soon as I walked in the door my mother cursed me out. I actually cried a lot that night and was ashamed of myself. It's 10 years later and I've never done that again. I love my Mom and I'm grateful for that argument.
Got super drunk with minors and hooked up with a tramp I later TA'd for on an active military base (a hill above the firing range, actually) one summer. Oh regret, you taste so sweet.
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Got horribly s-faced on a Thursday night after work. When I got to the front porch of the half duplex that I shared with roommates. I decided that I had to take a dump so bad that I wouldnt make it up the one flight of stairs to the bathroom. Took a dump on the porch right outside the front door. My roomate got up a couple of hours later and almost stepped in it while heading out the door to work.. He asked me about it but I denied any knowledge. Pretty sure he knew it was me.
At a party this summer some people brought some of those little squirt guns and shot each other and it was all fun and cute. later on it was getting a little heated when people were drunk and didn't want wet clothes. You know how bitches get. Then someone joked and said "what if there was piss in those?" I thought it was brilliant and was bold enough to do it thanks to the alcohol. I went to the bathroom and peed in those little hole the water guns had, washed the gun and watered it down a tad, and went out to conquer. First I squirted it on the hoes that I didn't like and they thought I was flirting, which I thought was ironic. Then I told the really drunk people it was vodka and I'd shoot it in their mouths. I don't remember a night where about 4 of my friends who knew laughed harder than I've ever seen while everyone thought we were tools for thinking squirting with a water gun vodka was such a bro idea. Then some girls found out cuz I bragged a lot and I got the hell out of there.
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Bizarre one for me was grabbing for a girl's boobs with my feet. We were in a hot tub at the time, and we were just friends. I don't think she appreciated it.
Bet my friends I could S my own D. No one believed me, a lot of cash was thrown down. Long story short I did it! Got the tip in. Needed witnesses so the whole team guys and girls watched and chanted "Sthat D." Very awkward the next few weeks, but lived off those winnings for 2 semesters. Good thing it was before smart phones.
take your pic of these
1. was in laos, at a place called vang viang. you all party at this river about 5-8 kilometers from the town. everything was fine little bit tipsy, next thing i know me an my mate are walking in the middle of nowhere trying to get back to the town we have an arguement. go seperate ways.
i had no shoes or shirt just shorts and i end up climbing a wall about 6 feet tall thinking my hotel was behind it. get cuts all over me, realise i cant just jump off it and climb down it get more cuts all over me. end up at a farmers house, watch them kill a pig in front of me with a club which at first i thought they were gonna hit me with but when i ran away they laughed. get a ride back to town with one of them on a scooter.
2. after full moon party i wake up in the gutter of the main street at 4pm. going wtf happened to me last night. last thing i remember i was dancing on the beach when the sun was up with many many other people.
3. drunk as feck i walk over ot my exes house and start having a conversation with her mom about how my ex is a liar and a cheater and she kicks me out of the house and i get chased down the street by two bikies she called up..
hmmm i need to stop drinking..
One time I got so drunk I had to throw up. So embarrassing. I threw up in the toilet. OMG. Your mom was on it. It's funny now, though. HaHaHaHa.
I went out to a bar by myself in a new town. Proceeded to get very drunk. This is vague, but I'm pretty sure I decided to break into a store on my way home. I did this by taking off my pants, wrapping them around my fist, and punching in a window. I then left and ran into a girl I was sleeping with, still not wearing pants (nor underwear). She was out with her male friends, who kept asking my why I wasn't wearing pants. I woke up the next morning with a broken hand.
I was at a bar dancing with a hot woman in her 30s. While I'm dancing with her, her weird, unattractive friend keeps bumping into me and later bites me. I ended up going home with the hot woman, who was staying with her gross friend. I mixed Mike's Hard lemonade and vodka while they smoked. Later, we start having sex and her friend comes in the room, naked, and joins in, which I figure is OK. Unfortunately, I then had to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. At this point the hot chick went to sleep, so instead I banged the 45 year old woman. The next morning she told me she was married but hadn't had sex for a year and a half. She gave me a framed painting of Noah's Ark, which I still have in my apartment.
I'm told that I once accused a scarecrow of being a socialist, threw an onion at it, then tackled it. Somehow lost my shoes that night too and woke up with my feet all cut up.
I smashed a guys craft beer bottle collection at a big party in a barn. I have no recollection or idea what I was doing. The entire party stopped and kicked me out of the barn. My friends tell me that I tried to start up and drive the riding lawn mower out instead of walking. Thank god hippies are peaceful people.
Ah.... Chico State.
uote]used to be naughty girl :) wrote:
want girl stories huh? well i'm late twenties now, pretty cute, good local runner, drink very very rarely and all-around respectable bring home to mama kind of gal but... in my early twenties when I wasn't running I was a freaken hoebag :)
1. pounded back some shots with my girlfriends, my guy friend drove us to the local nudie bar and did full strip amatuer night, about 5 times. including wet t-shirt night.
2. sitting on my f*** buddies' couch at a big house party chatting up some guy friend and I watch my f*** buddies' girlfriend walk by topless to the hot tub, so I get in the hot tub too, we end up naked dancing in the middle of the party. Later I get angry that he wants to sleep with her instead of me and punch his window, breaking it with my fist and get in a tussle with him on his lawn. f***er:)
3. me and my drunk ass girlfriend leave the local bar and she sees some twit ride by her on a bike yelling names at her, she races after the girl on the bike, tackles her, and beats the shit out of that girl, but a cop was watching and hauls her off to jail. so I have a guy friend drive me down to pick her up. make out with the dude, get fingered in the parking lot of the police station.
4. used to run home from the bars, about a mile or two full out with shoes in hand.
5. dance on any table, speaker, cage in a drunken heatbeat :)
6. went wood theiven one night with my guy buddies and make a stipper stage complete with pole in their living room
7. bored with my girlfriend one night at my guy friends stipper stage, we told them if you bring us booze we'll give you a show. I remember us having a naked lez-fest on the floor of the stage with some guy friends watching.
8. umm a couple threesome, two girls on one guy variety.
9. naked streaking, lots of tit flashing, river inner-tube floats with more nudity. handled lots of tits back then:)
10. made out with girlfriend at bars to be attention whores, got the whole bar gaping at us.
11. guy went down on me outside the bar in the alley.
12. woke up in the door jam of our front door thinking f***!!! my bedroom is freakin bright, stole a yard pink flamingo, and had bloody skinned knees from tripping when drunk.
and so much more, it was a northern cali college town and I can't believe how out of control we were. Now don't you be bitchy hypocrits, lol I bet your wives have some stories from when they were younger :)[/quote]
I'll just throw out some stuff I remember.
Shit my pants
got lost in a bathroom and shit on the floor
Woke up under a fouton cushion wearing a tshirt as underwear
Ordered a lot of late-night pizza
Went into a girl's roommates room naked (not a girl)
Drugs
Street fights
Graffiti in NYC
Ate tongue taco after flirting with a Spanish waitress in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish well.
Lots of girls
Looking at this list I haven't done anything crazy. I'm boring. Sad face.
woke up in a tree.
pissed on merchandise in a convenience store because i was apparently mad at the cashier (dont remember this one).
had sex with my ex-girlfriend's best friend.