Post-nuptial shutoff?

i'm not quite sure why you turned on the men on this forum...this appeared to me to be one of the most honest threads on letrun... believe it or not it doesn't men look good or feel good to post that they aren't getting as much as they would like at homei'm sure they would rather be bragging... 'the wife can't get enough of me'now either only 50% of married men are posting or there does appear to be something to the idea that men generally have a higher sex drive than the women in their livesyou came on here and said you were the one frustrated... we were all a bit taken by surpise and based on the degree of sexlessness it occurred to the men that there is something unusual there - maybe not, but they began asking and trying to help, some, others just being stupid but i don't think in anyway were they trying to slight women or insult your husbandbased on this board it just seemed to them a fact of at least some men's lives that their women wanted less sex than they did... they heard your story and it was difficult for them to fathomi don't know why you turned on them now and said well i knew all along men and women have the same sex drive and you guys just have double standards... why did you contribute and discuss with them when i think they were trying to be honest then throw it aside and then say there is a double standard??

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

[quote]sexlessrunningchica wrote:

Based on what I read here it would seem that men have higher sex drives than women, but much scientific research shows that's not actually true. Men and women have the same level of sex drive. So it is somewhat of a double standard that men complain about their wives and it's normal, but a woman says she is in the same position and her husband is gay, having an affair, addicted to porn etc. - you may not have said it but many did. The one conclusion I reach from this discussion is that runners are just horn dogs (unless they overtrain of course).

brawn wrote:

Ok, I hope that helps. I am experienced in sex and relationships, of course no relationship on the magnitude of marriage, but that is what I know about women and sex.

I certainly hope the poor woman you are lucky enough to marry finds enough redeeming qualities to stay with you because the board knows that veracity is not in your nature. Lie about your exploits and knowledge of women all you want but you were outed a LIAR months ago and eventually admitted it. You have ZERO credibility here. You are also a pathological bull$hitter and that gets tired. Women (and your coworkers) will grow tired of that act and make up reasons (ie - geographical) for dumping your sorry @ss so as not to hurt your fragile ego.

I got news for you junior, intimacy gets better and better after marriage but some women experience physical and hormonal changes subsequent to bearing children that do lessen their drive. However, the sexual gratification and intimacy do get better with each passing day.

I hope you do get married, manage to make it work, and have some children. Then you will learn about responsibility and what it means to put others ahead of yourself.

You would be well served to wait until you pass 30 years of age until you even consider marriage because it may just take you that long to grow up. Here endeth the lessen, my gift to you.

This thread held up pretty good for about 12 pages, then it went to crap.

300!

Read this in the paper this morning:

Marriage is a little like Churchill's definition of democracy - the worst form of relationship, except for all the the others.

Dear anEconomist

I haven't turned on you or any of you that were genuinely trying to offer helpful advice. My original post started "not true" - it's not true that men have higher sex drives than women, and I gave my own sorry tale as an example, but my story is also backed up by much research and conversations with specialists in the field. (I guess when you are not having it, you read about it and spend time trying to work out how you can get it.) So excuse me for getting a little defensive when complete strangers tell me that my beloved is gay, having an affair or addicted to porn. I admit though, that while I accuse guys of this double standard, I am guilty of buying into it myself and I do sometimes feel that my situation is incredible.

While I appreciate sympathy and heartfelt advice, it merely perpetuates a sexist myth to suggest that women have no sex drive after marriage while men are always horny all the time. It doesn't do men any favors either. I agree with the other poster who said that men often feel compelled to lie about their sex drives to fit in with this myth, and I have seen it in my husband many times when we are with friends making flippant comments about sex.

And an update for those who may care. I talked to him about getting his testosterone levels checked, and he seemed reluctant at best. I think the whole idea emasculates him, and if his levels are low the idea of taking testosterone is not thrilling. So I have given him some time to try to work this out as he wishes, or at least convince me that he is trying. If not then we may have to go our separate ways. So if anyone is interested in meeting a pretty, slightly running obsessed but decidedly average (looking to break 3 for the 'thon) female runner look me up in six months time but I'm hoping by then I'll get back to being just a runningchica.

I'll be the first in line. However you are going to ramp up this thread to a few thousand posts from guys and their virile sex drives lining up to meet you. ;)

Remember: "Me first, me first!"

All these dudes who are complaining they cannot get their bones to phone home... Listen up. You have to give the lady friend an experience that she will want again and again and again.

NO WOMAN is going to pass up the most fantastic sensations her body has ever experienced. Ya dig??? I used to be one of you, but a certain Randal Cunningham mentored me back to life.

Number one - Sex for the wymns starts with the head (hers, not yours, fool). Set the mood with frequent compliments: "Damn, yo booty look fly tonight, girl" etc. Bring home some roses from work one day. Make her feel APPRECIATED. She is the mother of your children, and you love her for that. Now show her with your words, and yo axions.

Number two - Make time for the bizzone. After a few weeks of being a nice guy, get the kids out of the house (or early to bed if you live in a sound proofed mansion). Cook a nice meal for her with your choice of afro-desiacs. Turn the lights down low. Maybe a little Barry.

Number three - Don't try and get up all in her grill from the start. Let it marinate. Fore to the play, take it slow.

Number four - Happy ending - HER A COUPLE TIMES, YOU LATER, IF YOU'RE LUCKY. If you're bad at this step, go get some knowledge. There are some fine texts out on the world wide web, with the appropriate google searches. Even better in the bookstore, but make sure you put that book inside another book, or the hunnies will be staring.

If you can give her this kind of evening, complete with an amazing sexual experience, you will find yourself getting it more frequently once you trigger different parts of the evening (i.e. small compliments, or throwing in a little oysters with that night's pasta, etc.) More importantly your relationship with your wife will solidify. It's as easy as 1,2,3. If you follow these steps exactly and don't get bones within a month, I will refund your money in its entirety.

Tried and tested on a 46 year old woman after three children and what appeared to be no sex drive. We get down once or twice a week, and the d man be loving it.

Sheesh. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

lol @ the broken clock remark.

but seriously, nice advice (and slang), scoop jackson.

Doesn't ever seem to work for me.... I treat her like gold, I make it a priority to do something nice for her EVERY day (Warm her car in the morning, clean the snow off, fill up her gas tank, dinner is ready daily, do her laundry, put it away, do the dishes, offer her back rubs, I have never left one item of mine laying around the house for her to pickup and on & on...Most of the time I'm sure she doesn't realize what I'm doing and takes it for granted) She has never done any of these things for me. She once told me 'Ultimately you're responsible for your own happiness' So now I get my happiness from giving and doing for others rather than saying 'what about me'(and running well). It would be nice to have just a little bit of compassion & romance coming my way once in a while! Better go now. I need to go shopping for my wifes Valentines Gift... This Friday will be four weeks since she 'allowed' me to touch her. Wonder why I put up with this.

jeez, if this is the truth... i feel bad for you... out of curiousity if your wife were writing on the same topic (about who does what for whom, how often) what do you think she would say

at some levels you enjoy it this way

why dont you just admit it wrote:

at some levels you enjoy it this way

What the hell is that supposed to mean? No, I think I would much rather enjoy a normal, regular sex life,...It would be nice to have someone put their arms around me or maybe hold my hand in public. Maybe even a card on our anniversary would have been nice. Or someone to say they are proud of me for running well in a race. But you might be somewhat right...I do enjoy knowing I'm doing something nice for someone. It goes back to being responsible for your own happiness.

I doubt that your wife is a truly happy person if she treats you so poorly.

longtimer, are you a cuckold?

Nobody deserves to be in relationship like that. You rationalize your dysfuntional situation by saying you're in control, because doing something nice for another brings you happiness. Slaves used similar mechanisms to make their situation bearable. Ever find yourself nervously humming old spirituals while neatly folding her undies?

This hag needs to confronted upside the head with a healthy dose of reality, then you need to be a man, take it or leave it.

Unless you are cuckold, or into some dom/sub role playing thing, then, as they say, you're good to go.

Not to make it any worse for you guys but here's an article that relates:

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=2007-02-06T145801Z_01_N05490438_RTRUKOC_0_US-LIFE-CLOTHES.xml&WTmodLoc=NewsArt-L3-Oddly+Enough+NewsNews-2