Post-nuptial shutoff?

and two pennies wrote:

Just a thought - are you guys lousy in bed? Not meant as a knock, but maybe if you improved the experience for the lady, they would be more apt to get down on it.

I don't want to get into a whole realm of sex tips and advice here but do you really know what you're doing?

I used to think I did, then I got with an honest girl who wasn't about to fake anything to make me feel better. We worked on sex (actually practiced), and now I'm much better. Go out and read a book, try some of the things, you never know.

As a woman, I COMPLETELY agree with this post. My guy read books before I met him and I am thankful for that library. :) He cares if I orgasm and waits for me, every time. Usually makes sure it is more than once depending on how long we are going. But a lot of the time once is not enough for him. He understands my body, almost better than I do. You guys really have to want her to enjoy it and explain that. Orgasms are fun. If you do what you can to make sure she enjoys it, she may want it more. Communication is KEY.

I do not have kids though and I can understand when someone has small children, a job, a house to take care of, cooking, running, and sex...I don't know, I am a little worried about that. I guess both men and women need to pitch in with all the duties. Maybe you need to schedule sex sometimes but I am not going to pretend like I know how to get through those years of having young kids.

Haven't the folks in your camp ever thought the guys on here complaining would be willing to do anything to get their women to want/enjoy more sex? If that means reading books, going to seminars, earning a PhD in Sex Ed., asking what they can do to make it better for their wives, or going to work for hours at a time down low, then so be it. It's not like these guys are finding themselves locked out of the house, only to repeatedly try the same key in the door time and time again. There are a ton of guys out there trying every key they've ever owned, only to eventually find out the door's been padlocked from the inside.

(on another note - I guess this thread has inspired LetsRun's new slogan. Check the front page - good to see.)

or at least it means the thread won't get deleted

of course... me and my wife are still ok with frequency but i read anything and look into anything that would help me make things more enjoyable for her (most guys i am sure have looked into 'she comes first', great book)that what pisses me off about some of these suggestions, it's not like most married men don't know this and besidesit is a marriage, if something needs to be said it gets said... at least in our relationship... communication is constantly occurring

Alex de Large wrote:

Haven't the folks in your camp ever thought the guys on here complaining would be willing to do anything to get their women to want/enjoy more sex? If that means reading books, going to seminars, earning a PhD in Sex Ed., asking what they can do to make it better for their wives, or going to work for hours at a time down low, then so be it. It's not like these guys are finding themselves locked out of the house, only to repeatedly try the same key in the door time and time again. There are a ton of guys out there trying every key they've ever owned, only to eventually find out the door's been padlocked from the inside.

(on another note - I guess this thread has inspired LetsRun's new slogan. Check the front page - good to see.)

for the record i never suggested your husband was gay AND i don't see the connection based on what you read here it it seems clear that men usually (not always) have higher sex drives... so of course when that isn't the case the question is why, of course it doesn't have to mean anything but a low sex drive but a lot of guys have such high sex drives that they can't even imagine the oppositei don't see much of a connection to feminism... feminism i think would say a woman has a right to whatever sex drive she wants

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

Right, you're all such feminists. Funny how when it's a woman her husband is gay or having an affair. But when it's your wives they're just selfish.

anEconomist wrote:

... and besides

it is a marriage, if something needs to be said it gets said... at least in our relationship... communication is constantly occurring

Your relationship may be an exception. My ex-girlfriend found it almost impossible to initiate communication about anything important (both sex and non-sex topics). And I don't think it was because of me. She had major difficulties no matter who she was communicating with.

[quote]anEconomist wrote:

for the record i never suggested your husband was gay AND i don't see the connection based on what you read here it it seems clear that men usually (not always) have higher sex drives... so of course when that isn't the case the question is why, of course it doesn't have to mean anything but a low sex drive but a lot of guys have such high sex drives that they can't even imagine the opposite

i don't see much of a connection to feminism... feminism i think would say a woman has a right to whatever sex drive she wants

[quote]sexlessrunningchica wrote:

Based on what I read here it would seem that men have higher sex drives than women, but much scientific research shows that's not actually true. Men and women have the same level of sex drive. So it is somewhat of a double standard that men complain about their wives and it's normal, but a woman says she is in the same position and her husband is gay, having an affair, addicted to porn etc. - you may not have said it but many did. The one conclusion I reach from this discussion is that runners are just horn dogs (unless they overtrain of course).

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

The one conclusion I reach from this discussion is that runners are just horn dogs (unless they overtrain of course).

You got it. Anyone spending 10 minutes on the Letsrun message boards would reach that conclusion.

Like wojo said I'm going to self police this one

"Men and women have the same level of sex drive."

Based on my own personal experience this is true, if you are with the right partner that is. I know many women my age (43) who claim to have no sex drive at all. I know of no guys who would admit to having low or no sex drive. I think many guys are pretty dishonest regarding the issue. I know for certain that when I was in college, many of my very goods friends who spoke about gettin laid frequently, seldom did. Obviously anything you read here has to be taken with grain a salt.

Maybe its a psycho/ social phenomenon that guys instinctively bitch about not gettin it, whether they are really up to the task or not. One of my best friends since childhood, who used to brag about it constantly(not that there was much truth to it), now married to another mutual friend who says she never gets any... he's a total dud.

Your situation is still odd, you might just have found the exception, the guy that doesnt like sex and is honest about it.

The reduction in sex for me was after our 2nd child... It's kind of understandable, because she's exhausted all the time and it's not a complete shutoff... There are just times when she's always tired, and I don't beg. After a few weeks, she realizes that we haven't been together and then she will initiate... As a normal guy, I could have sex every day but realize that's unrealistic with a family. By the way we've been married for 14 years and the first 10 were very good sexually... it's only been the last 4 years (with two and now three kids) where the sex has dropped off noticeably. But like someone else said, my wife is my friend and I'm sure sex will pick up again once the kids are older and my wife isn't exhausted all the time.

Good grief, my thread is STILL running? I feel almost enshrined.

not that it matters... wrote:

But like someone else said, my wife is my friend and I'm sure sex will pick up again once the kids are older and my wife isn't exhausted all the time.

Don't count on it...I thought the same thing. Now my kids are 22 & 18. Nothing has changed! Just to add to my post from page 2...I do all the cooking, grocery shopping, dishes and laundry. I run my own business and run 70 miles a week. She even hired a cleaning lady to come in once a week. Now there is nothing left for her to do!!! But, I Love her just the same....Looking on the bright side, she just asked me to pick up a bottle of wine!!!! Could it be???

I feel much better after reading the posts here. I had a very high libido from my teens and all through my 20's. However, it fell almost as if I went off a cliff around 4 months after my 30th birthday. Nontheless, I was good for lovemaking 4-5 times a week until I was 35 or so. I turned 36 last November.

Now, I have been living with my Fiancee for the last year and am happy with 2x a week. At first I thought something was wrong with me but now I see it is about normal.

I think the older a man gets, the less preoccupied he is with being a horndog.

unusual situation wrote:

I've been having an affair with my best friend's wife for 2 years. Does that make me a bad friend? The sex is way hotter than what I get at home.

Is your name Gavin Newsom?

some guys are actually into that.

sure, like this:

www.sardax.com

Flagpole Willy wrote:

Trust me, all the women who have been with The Flagpole have enjoyed it tremendously.

and how many would that be?

At $1,000 a pop they had better put on a good show.