At home for Christmas... feeling awkward like I don't belong

Perhaps Christmas was not the time for you to "come out" to your family?

Don't rub it in and make them watch Glee.

I have holidays like this too. Everyone is either married, has a kid, or over 55.

I always try to get as current as I can with football stats so that I can talk with the other men, way past their own athletic prime, about fantasy football and other lame stuff like that. Also, I plan on grabbing a beer or 5 with them too, as it helps with the conversation, and you might be surprised at how much you have in common with them once they open up. Avoid spending too much time with the women, you will feel pathetic, and it is time to find a way to relate to the rest of your male clan.

If you make the effort, it could turn out pretty fun. If you don't you will do little more than survive the holidays.

And to the poster that told the OP he should count his blessings that he is not overseas in the military: It's true, he should appreciate his family, but at the same time ours is a volunteer military. Everyone there knew what the deal was when they signed up for the job. If they decided to make a career out of military service and expected to never be deployed, or have to be away from family, or be put in harm's way, someone at the recruiting center lied to them.

One Christmas break at home, I decided to run 3 times a day for two weeks after reading about Brendan Foster or whichever Brit was doing it. 5 in the morning, 5 at 1 and another 5 at 5. Can't remember, but doubt I took showers in between, only after the evening run. So I was only sort of there. Kept in pretty good shape that break, although in those days there weren't too many indoor tracks, so we did a lot of tempo and overdistance between cross country and track.

Everyone can relate to someone in the family. Its your family for crying out loud. I have a large family as my parents are split up and remarried. I have people who I can talk to real easy and others which are a bit more difficult and akward. It all comes down to how well you are able to socialize. You have more in common with them than you think. Try talking about something you know they would like to talk about. It could lead to something. In my opinion its like what a few people have already said. As you grow up some of those differences you have will be something to look back on and laugh at. Even if you disagree on such things like who should be president, you can still have a conversation about it as long as you remain calm and don't take everything personal. Everyone has opinions and while its fun to make fun of people for there opinions, you have to try to just enjoy talking about something. Look if your family is alright with it I also agree a little alcohol can make things better. Just don't go over board. Good luck with the next family gathering don't be so afraid never good to walk into a situations terrified. Go get em kido, and grow up already.

Welcome to adulthood. In addition to being free with the rum in the eggnog, stash another fifth in your room for the mornings and late nights.

I think you've been given a lot of good advice here, even if I don't agree with using alcohol as a coping mechanism.

You feel like you've been growing away from your family for the past couple years. That's completely normal. My guess is that your parents are much more comfortable with you being different from them than you are with them being different than you. Relating to your family as an adult is different than it was as a child. As long as you keep working at the relationship all will turn out fine. In the meantime don't say or do anything to your parents/family you are likely to regret a few years from now.

Deal with some social discomfort gracefully now and realize it will get better in time if you let it.

YES IT GETS BETTER...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/21/obama-it-gets-better-video_n_772224.html

Just watch video below to deal with it

Like everyone else has said, relating to your family as an adult, especially as a young adult, is much more difficult than as a child. When you're a child, all your relationships are clearly defined. You listen to your mom and dad, play with your siblings and are nice to relatives and answer the same 5 questions over and over every year.

As an adult, there are no clear relationships, especially in the beginning. It is up to you to define them and your parents and family are probably just as unsure as you are. And don't stress too much about no one saying anything to you...they're your family, they already know everything--what could they have to say to you, really. The point is just to be around each other and appreciate each other.

Offer to help your mom in the kitchen, watch movies with your siblings, go for a walk in your hometown and see who you'll run into. Drink. Seriously. One of the nice things about being an adult is being able to have a few drinks with your family. It will be odd at first and then fun, hopefully.

Yes - So you didn't care enough about your kids to be there and watch the joy on their faces when they unwrapped their presents.

Wow!

RRRR wrote:

And to the poster that told the OP he should count his blessings that he is not overseas in the military: It's true, he should appreciate his family, but at the same time ours is a volunteer military. Everyone there knew what the deal was when they signed up for the job. If they decided to make a career out of military service and expected to never be deployed, or have to be away from family, or be put in harm's way, someone at the recruiting center lied to them.

Ours isn't a volunteer military when it is the only source of employment left after a 100 years of the great socialist act of treason, by the Democrat Woodrow Wilson, the Federal Reserve. Now we have a fake fiat currency, with fake elections.

My parents are divorced (dad remarried) but still live in the same town. My brother and I eat holiday meals with both families, and relatives on both sides who are around our ages (24 and 27) bring their kids. Basically, holiday dinners are a good time for my brother and myself to reassure ourselves about the benefits of remaining single.

Never Forget 1913 wrote:

RRRR wrote:

And to the poster that told the OP he should count his blessings that he is not overseas in the military: It's true, he should appreciate his family, but at the same time ours is a volunteer military. Everyone there knew what the deal was when they signed up for the job. If they decided to make a career out of military service and expected to never be deployed, or have to be away from family, or be put in harm's way, someone at the recruiting center lied to them.

Ours isn't a volunteer military when it is the only source of employment left after a 100 years of the great socialist act of treason, by the Democrat Woodrow Wilson, the Federal Reserve. Now we have a fake fiat currency, with fake elections.

Hey look! It's one of those guys who will probably serve time for tax evasion because he can show you that the income tax is unconstitutional.

Rick James wrote:

Never Forget 1913 wrote:

Ours isn't a volunteer military when it is the only source of employment left after a 100 years of the great socialist act of treason, by the Democrat Woodrow Wilson, the Federal Reserve. Now we have a fake fiat currency, with fake elections.

Hey look! It's one of those guys who will probably serve time for tax evasion because he can show you that the income tax is unconstitutional.

Just like the Ohio refuses to reform its school system after being ruled unconstitutional by its own Supreme Court, so have the criminal powers in charge of the federal government ignored the IRS being struck down by the Supreme Court. Unfortunately, all government is force, and the people with guns will come for you regardless of what the courts or laws say.

i hear ya. i spent xmas with my former stepfather's family, who i hadn't seen in about 5 years. they're also religious and i am an atheist. next time, go in with a strategy. i got lucky and spent most of the time playing board games with the old folks, playing pool, and won them over working the mic on rock band. next time, try to orient everyone on something mutual; get people involved. focusing on the awkwardness only generates more of it. even your attempts aren't an overwhelming success, they'll probably recognize the good intent. if they can't, keep in mind that family is more than just a similar genome, and xmas is just a holiday invented by humans celebrating human inventions. if it doesnt bother you to sit at home with your feet up during ramadan or hanukkah, it shouldn't on christmas

Never Forget 1913 wrote:

Rick James wrote:

Hey look! It's one of those guys who will probably serve time for tax evasion because he can show you that the income tax is unconstitutional.

Just like the Ohio refuses to reform its school system after being ruled unconstitutional by its own Supreme Court, so have the criminal powers in charge of the federal government ignored the IRS being struck down by the Supreme Court. Unfortunately, all government is force, and the people with guns will come for you regardless of what the courts or laws say.

I bet you feel awkward just about anywhere. That crazy "brain" of yours makes you feel like you're the only one who knows the truth about the big conspiracy!

The reason you feel awkward, my friend, is because you have obviously started taking it from behind. This makes you feel no longer connected to the 'straight' world of your family and friends. Unfortunately turning gay has this consequence.

I used to feel this way. Then I started drinking heavily during the holidays. That helped. Also, I developed self-confidence and social skills. Those help. Finally, I eat so much that I get hit by a massive food coma, struggle to stay awake, and use that as an excuse to not interact with people.

When I left home at 14, my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand to have the old man around. When I came home at 21, I was amazed at how much he'd learned in just seven years!