She "broke into" my cell phone to see text messages and call history

My ex-gf did this to me while we were in the process of attempting to get back together. Granted, I cheated on her the first time we were together, but she was checking to see if I was telling the truth about not hooking up with other girls WHILE WE WEREN'T TOGETHER!!! It infuriated me, but I realized that I deserved it because I had treated her poorly. You, though, have not treated her poorly. Unless you want to marry her (which sort of cuts your balls off anyway), get rid of her.

ummm yeah -rules kind of change when you are married... you have one life, what is mine is yours, etc.i agree girlfriends shouldn't be spying... but in marriage it wouldn't be spying because you should have absolutely nothing to hideand if you aren't ok with that then you aren't ready for marriage as you clearly aren't

Huck Finn wrote:

Gone.

Even if I was married to a woman and she looked into my personal stuff without at the very least letting me know before she did so, I would be angry. 4-5 months.....I wouldn't even stick around for the end of the conversation.

but in marriage there should be trust so why would you ever go through someone's phone like that or spy on them?

to the OP: if someone did that to me i'd end it, it's too much.

there is trust, if my wife went through my phone maybe she was curious or bored or whatever... perhaps if she actually followed me around or something i would find that odd, more than anything though the question should be what have you / haven't you done to make her feel insecure - that needs to be addressed

track chick wrote:

but in marriage there should be trust so why would you ever go through someone's phone like that or spy on them?

to the OP: if someone did that to me i'd end it, it's too much.

superman that ho

Stop being a wuss.

If she is worth it, then apologize for being a liar.

If she is not worth it, throw her out onto the curb.

This one is simple!! Marry her now. Then make lots of babies. Divorce her after 4 or 5 children. ( Now for the main part)Don't pay your child support instead find a young hot babe with the same qualities as recently dumped wife. "Shazam" continue to repeat the process!!

Ps. Feel free to smack her around a little when she sneaks into your stuff.

PROBLEM SOLVED "Thank You"

The only time "breaking into" someone's phone or email or any other personal property of theirs is acceptable to me is if you are married and you already feel certain they're cheating because of other evidence (and not just your paranoia because your crazy ex cheated on you 10 years ago). Of course, if you have a shared computer and leave incriminating evidence open, don't be complaining that you were spied on.

She's not worth it. If she were worth it, after 5 months you'd be wanting to move the relationship to exclusive. You didn't deceive her, she agreed to the open relationship. You had no obligation to tell her details about other people you were seeing. If she couldn't handle this, she needed to talk to you, not to spy on you.

i agree for the most part... with marriage it kind of changesi consider most everything ours, i don't have a cell phone, WE have two cell phones... she has every right to look at what she wantssure I might be annoyed if she was spying for no good reason but I think most people would agree taht usually people aren't spying for no good reason...it actually sounds like this chick had every right to be concerned that he was up to somethingkick her to the curb because your heart wasn't in it anyway, not because she spied

yetanotherchick wrote:

The only time "breaking into" someone's phone or email or any other personal property of theirs is acceptable to me is if you are married and you already feel certain they're cheating because of other evidence (and not just your paranoia because your crazy ex cheated on you 10 years ago). Of course, if you have a shared computer and leave incriminating evidence open, don't be complaining that you were spied on.

She's not worth it. If she were worth it, after 5 months you'd be wanting to move the relationship to exclusive. You didn't deceive her, she agreed to the open relationship. You had no obligation to tell her details about other people you were seeing. If she couldn't handle this, she needed to talk to you, not to spy on you.

Man, I agree with the one who said you should have dumped her before the end of the conversation. She's either clingy or one with a stalker personality or something that you definitely do not want. I have a friend who had a girlfriend like that once. He broke it off with her when she pressured him to get married. Bunch of us were eating at a Chinese restaurant, and she showed up and yelled at him in the middle of our dinner with everyone looking, and then she poured a cup of coffee on his head. He got a restraining order after that.

Don't ever deal in crazy. I had a crazy girlfriend once, and I dropper her like a bad habit. Evidence of crazy -- she went to Kentucky for one week, came back with a thick Kentucky accent. Nothing wrong with people with different accents, but you don't acquire one in a day. She apparently had no sense of self, so I dumped her. She's unmarried to this day. Heartbroken I'm sure. Too bad for her, but you can't bring the crazy if you want to be with ol' Flagpole.

I respectfully disagree; she had no right to be concerned that he was up to something.

They agreed on an open relationship- that means he had every right to talk to other women and date other women as much as he wants. He told her honestly that was the kind of relationship he wanted, and that he was talking to someone else. The only thing she had a right to was to tell him directly that she wanted an exclusive relationship. Until that discussion, she had absolutely no good reason to spy.

Yes it is a huge deal. But you need to get back at her in a better way. Don't just dump her. Tell her it's OK. Act normally. Then, slowly, just start to give her "the fade". Return her calls less and less often. Finally, not at all. Never "break up" with her, just treat her like she means less and less and eventually nothing to you.

Thats a better form of punishment.

ok, didn't read close enough... yeah if he was clear that it was an open relationship then he was in the right

yetanotherchick wrote:

I respectfully disagree; she had no right to be concerned that he was up to something.

They agreed on an open relationship- that means he had every right to talk to other women and date other women as much as he wants. He told her honestly that was the kind of relationship he wanted, and that he was talking to someone else. The only thing she had a right to was to tell him directly that she wanted an exclusive relationship. Until that discussion, she had absolutely no good reason to spy.

I would politely tell her not to look at your phone. But also don't hesitate to tell her the truth about other women you are seeing, if she really wants to know. That way you'll have nothing to hide or feel guilty about anyway.

but then again if it is an open relationship what is he breaking off?so don't get any closer to her but hey, if she wants to keep dating and she is into fooling around, why not keep dating

anEconomist wrote:

ok, didn't read close enough... yeah if he was clear that it was an open relationship then he was in the right

yetanotherchick wrote:

I respectfully disagree; she had no right to be concerned that he was up to something.

They agreed on an open relationship- that means he had every right to talk to other women and date other women as much as he wants. He told her honestly that was the kind of relationship he wanted, and that he was talking to someone else. The only thing she had a right to was to tell him directly that she wanted an exclusive relationship. Until that discussion, she had absolutely no good reason to spy.

i would like to direct your attention to the following website for the solution to this problem...

http://gretawire.foxnews.com/2007/11/03/a-video-on-how-to-beat-your-wife/

After it happened I was really upset and said she had no right to look into my private stuff.

She set me up to see if I was being honest. I told her it was an open relationship she agreed but said it was not open on her part and she didn't want an open relationship. I told her and reaffirmed that maybe later it would be exclusive. I was being honest because of our distance apart, work schedules, and recent break ups with others.

Then she asked me several times about who I was talking to and texting. I down played it and said it was not a big deal. I was trying to avoid hurting her plus it was none of her business. I didn't want a big fight. Then she told me about looking into my phone and said I was a liar because the call log and texts should I was chatting a lot with other women.

We broke up for a week or two then against all rational judgement we (I feel like a fool) got back together and I agreed to continue our relationship with me NOT dating other women.

Honestly, it is just too damn stressful for me to date all these women.

So we'll see how it goes. But I am very concerned. Last night on the phone she was telling me about how she was reading her Mom's personal e-mail. Bad news.

I'll at least use the lock feature on my phone. She is evil but really hot.

I agree... leave her!

It is the kindest thing you could do... given you are an amoral, noncomittal, sneaking, lying cheater!

If it really were an 'open' relationship, you wouldn't needed to have lied in the first place.

Kill the skank...what is she related to Bill Belichek or something?