Post-nuptial shutoff?

11 years of marriage and still pretty much daily (3 weeks a month anyway). twice a day on weekends isn't uncommon. she's actually gotten more daring in what she'll do, but much less in where she'll do it.

no complaints here.

I just want to come on here to say something to all the anti-marriage folks...

There is more to marriage than sex, you really do get a best friend. So don't marry a girl if you only have sex in common.

I want someone to come on here and say that they have had great sex for 30 years, and then tell us how.

I read these studies every now and then that say things like "the average married couple has sex nine times a month" and I think to myself, they are interviewing newlyweds or people are lying like mad.

I've been married 15 years, and let me tell you, there were about 10 years in there, the prime baby years, that were not great. Every other weekend in a good month kind of thing.

But a few things have happened the past few years:

1. The kids are not babies anymore and my wife is not so totally frazzled at the end of the day.

2. I have learned that having sex for her begins several hours before she realizes she is going to say yes. What I mean is YOU need to start laying the ground work -- being nice, picking up some slack around the house, some non-sexual physical affection, actually listen when she talks about her day. (This one can be dangerous if it strays into areas she is upset about, so be prepared to be empathetic/apologetic/compromising and get the conversation moving into better areas.)

3. I had a vasectomy. She even says this makes her MUCH more comfortable 'being spontanteous.'

This thread is freaking me out. My girlfriend is a sexual animal (dating 2 years, at least 1x a day, sometimes more). We're both young (24), but do you mean to tell me that she might shut off, or have I found a lucky one?

Also, have any of you considered tantric sex? It's improved my breathing (and consequently my running) as well as given us some great avenues for physical and emotional intimacy. Could this be part of the reason for the strength?

It just so happens, my wife's been into it again in a big way lately. It helps that I agreed to a vasectomy which allowed her to get off the pill which was suppressing her libido. We've been using toys and couples porn and its been A LOT of fun.

We're in our mid 30s, been a couple since HS but married for 4. Two kids under 3 and we both work full time, so we're tired as hell most of the time. But we've made our intimacy a priority again -- three times in the last four days alone.

I am not friggin kidding. It can be done.

a friend once told me if you put a marble in a jar every time you had sex with your significant other before you got married and then took a marble out every time you had sex after you got married, you would never empty the jar of marbles.

i thought he was crazy, then i got married, now i got myself a jar full of marbles.

my only sex life is HOTNESS THREADS

and two pennies wrote:

This thread is freaking me out. My girlfriend is a sexual animal (dating 2 years, at least 1x a day, sometimes more). We're both young (24), but do you mean to tell me that she might shut off, or have I found a lucky one?

Apparently you're missing the point. We're not saying that she *might* shut off. We're saying she *will* shut off. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you.

(Anyone know how to italicize on here?)

Have any of you over fifty men even thought about this: your sagging back ends and shriveled parts are not the hot weapons you think they are. Most women are bored with men who have never figured out that just because they have a dick they are god's gift to women.

After a certain age the thrill is gone and women are way more interested in having a life that doesn't include being some guy's bed toy.

hoboken holly wrote:

Most women are bored with men who have never figured out that just because they have a dick they are god's gift to women.

I don't think that's what you meant to say.

hoboken holly wrote:

Have any of you over fifty men even thought about this: your sagging back ends and shriveled parts are not the hot weapons you think they are. Most women are bored with men who have never figured out that just because they have a dick they are god's gift to women.

After a certain age the thrill is gone and women are way more interested in having a life that doesn't include being some guy's bed toy.

Hey, if you look at the subject field, you'll notice no one is intending to complain about a mid-50s shutoff. This is about women getting men where they want them, and then denying the men they've married, part of the relationship which precipitated the men to ask for their hand in marriage in the first place. Go back and read this thread again - no one claims this dropoff is happening after 50 - it's all 20s and 30s. (And if you think you're getting better looking as you approach retirement, maybe YOU should take a look at your sagging parts, and think again.)

Man, as a lifelong bachelor, this thread confirms my worst suspicions. It's no wonder a lot of my cohorts look at me with extreme jealousy. I may have long "dry spells" , but damn at least i always have hope (and can at least talk to and admire any woman i feel like)......

Jonathan Harris wrote:

2. I have learned that having sex for her begins several hours before she realizes she is going to say yes. What I mean is YOU need to start laying the ground work -- being nice, picking up some slack around the house, some non-sexual physical affection, actually listen when she talks about her day. (This one can be dangerous if it strays into areas she is upset about, so be prepared to be empathetic/apologetic/compromising and get the conversation moving into better areas.)

Isn't it interesting that before marriage women give it up like crazy because they're trying to get the man to be nice to them, commit to them and love them. But after marriage the man has to treat them like a queen all day in the hopes of getting some that night. The fact is, when it comes to sex women are like camels and water. They can go hundreds of miles without any and be perfectly fine.

Men are complete suckers for sex. This is why women are and always have been the most powerful creatures on earth. It's only the dumb women who get dominated. If a women knows how to use sex right, she'll never be beaten.

Before getting married 5 months ago, I told Mrs. Nipple that I expected the frequency after the ceremony to be equal to the frequency before the ceremony. I then let her know that I wanted her to be my partner in those sessions... either way, though, the fequency would remain the same.

I, too, however the badass I try to come off as, expect that the frequency will soon slow to a crawl. She's pregnant now with our first. I'm sure the birth will be the smoking gun...

marbles wrote:

a friend once told me if you put a marble in a jar every time you had sex with your significant other before you got married and then took a marble out every time you had sex after you got married, you would never empty the jar of marbles.

The way I heard it (from my dad) was:

The first year you're married, put a marble in every time you have sex.

The rest of your marriage, try emptying the jar.

Pretty much accurate, either way.

Married 14 years.

Lingerie, check. More adventurous than when we started, check. Plenty of frequency, check. I have to work to make sure she's having as much fun as I'm having. :-)

She weighs about 5# less than when we were married. Still awe-inspiring to look at naked.

I have NO complaints. ZERO.

not my usual screen name wrote:

Married 14 years.

Lingerie, check. More adventurous than when we started, check. Plenty of frequency, check. I have to work to make sure she's having as much fun as I'm having. :-)

She weighs about 5# less than when we were married. Still awe-inspiring to look at naked.

I have NO complaints. ZERO.

You can't fool us, lady.

Intersting thread.... I have been dating a girl for the past couple of years. The sex is infrequent, I am not teribly attracted to her but she is a saint. She cooks, she cleans, she goes running with me. We have similiar political views. She is a great friend. She is very smart. She is great with money and I think she will be a great mother.I have been thinking for a long time whether I should marry someone when I am not hot over her....But it sems like the sex would disappear (sp) anyway so maybe I am not giving up much...opinions?

OldXCguy wrote:

(Anyone know how to italicize on here?)

sure. it's just like how the quotes work, except instead of "quote" and "/quote" in the brackets, it's "i" and "/i". Same thing as the bold for the quote author, except "i" instead of "b". "u" gives you an underline.