Turning 36 next month. I feel I'm at a critical juncture in life.

You're actually in a good spot. Dating older men is trendy for women right now. You can be fertile until you die. Get it out of your head that you HAVE to marry a woman near your age. There are plenty of 22-30 year old women who are tired of the immature men near their age and open to dating you. Despite what society trains us to believe, it is not "perverted" to date a younger woman when you are both seeking marriage and kids.

Take your time... don't rush or settle. You have at least a decade to find a great wife who wants to have kids.

Sperm quality degrades with age. Advanced paternal age (>40) increases risk of birth defects particularly autism.

OP’s concern is valid.

36 is a joke. Life doesn't really begin for men until you hit your 40's.

Not a problem if you don't want kids. Plenty of men, rather, people in general these days do not want kids especially in this economy.

OP said “If I want to get married and have kids”

Not having kids is fine too.

Well, first, I’ll go with you and allow that OP is who you’d expect rather than an imposter (easier if registered).

Still, you speak with enough knowledge to realize that the kinds of difficulties expressed by OP are those of people who can get trapped in a cycle they feel they can’t extricate themselves from. Sure, it’s not incumbent on you to keep on offering help, but it’s also not unheard of for people to struggle time and again.

But I like your input overall.

OP (especially if it’s who I think it is): We all spend too much time chasing things that don’t matter. It seems as though you might to a little bit of that here, and you might do a little bit of that and then report about it here.

And one poster now offers advice that many people have benefited from (most of us unevenly, a sometimes yes and sometimes no), so the real “what makes you happy,” “what fulfills you,” ”what is a well-lived life according to you” is a great way of considering how to proceed.

And how can you really serve yourself and give yourself the best chance of happiness as you proceed? By honestly approaching that with an attempt to find yourself, seek out a like-minded partner or other fellow-traveler, and giving it your daily commitment with the awareness that it is very unlikely to be easy.

No, it isn't. If you're posting here you've already hit the lottery. Now go cash in.

Sir age grading is a joke. IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Really? I’m the same age. Where’s this pressure to make a decision coming from?

good time to get married actually.

go overseas and date a lot, East Europe, Phillipines, Thailand

focus on well to do ladies, there are plenty

practice for a year or two before getting hitched, travel to resorts with some beautiful ones, and see if that's your thing.

or locally, find your niche,

don't look in places where your type of women does not exist.

think about it, make a plan and follow it.

ditch losers with red flags

Friend had #6 kid last year at 55- wife about 42. I'm the godfather.

Ages 14 down to 1.

Seems to be loving life, fills a pew in church every Sunday. Plenty of energy- maybe live to 100.

Why is it now or never? Age? Men can have kids later obviously so can women to a lesser extent since she is the one having the child. A lot of 50 year old men these days have kids with 25 or 30 year old women, some younger than 25 and some older than 30, 35 and even into early 40s these days

You lucked out. As a healthy woman who ran 30 miles a week, my pregnancy at 39 years old ended early and jeopardized both my life and that of my prematurely born baby. A good friend of my had stillborn twins in her early 40s. My sister needed IVF (very expensive) to have her babies at at around 40.

OP doesn't need to panic. But a good plan if you want kids and you're 37 is to start looking seriously for a life partner. These days, that probably means online dating, but whatever works for you (church, running clubs, work, are also options). Women in general should target their last pregnancy happening at age 37 or younger. I would assume at least 2.5 years for desired kid. So if you want two kids, start getting pregnant with #1 no later than age 32. Men can be older, but it's unfair on your children to have them when they're past, say, 45.

My pregnancy at 39, nearly 40, was with my third child. I got married at 29 but there were miscarriages, PPD and just life happening that delayed our third baby. There are plenty of healthy babies born to 40+ women, but there are also lots of would-be parents who start TTC in their late 30s and early 40s and just can't understand why they're experiencing infertility and miscarriages. Many of them likely could have gotten pregnant and had healthy babies had they simply started 5 years earlier.

The key here is that she started having children at age 27 or 28. It's a fine plan to have more kids at a later age because if it doesn't work out, you still have the 2 or 3 you had when younger. But waiting until the woman is 42 to have the first is not a good plan.

I also think it's unfair for a man to have children at age 55. In this specific case, the child has 5 siblings which goes a long way to make up for having a very old father. (55 is not very old, but 73 on high school graduation is.) But my husband and I felt that anything older than mid to late 40s was unfair to the child. This is especially true for only children or for families with two children. This places a huge and difficult burden on the kids to care for the oldster parent with little help when the child is still starting out in life.

You certainly don’t have to act now if you want to get married or just cohabitate. It would be optimal to act soon if you want to have kids

Best case, you’re 60/61 by the time your first kid finishes college. Unless you’re extremely wealthy, it can be financially stressful having kids near college age.

Have you had any close marriage prospects? If I was single I’d be hitting the gym hard.

My uncle and aunt don’t have kids and seem very happy.

Good luck to you.

Can't disagree with points you make. I do hope for the best with them. It actually is his 3rd marriage. 2 kids from previous spouses. I'm sure in 15 years things might be different. He does look a good 10 years younger than his age, but not sure if that days anything about internal health.

True fact my mother's aunt had a first pregnancy and a healthy one at age 47. This was in 1968! At first her and doctor thought she was going through the change, turned out she was pregnant!

Women Who Give Birth After 40 Are Likely to Live Longer, Doctors Explain Why

"Recent studies have shown that women who give birth in their 40s are more likely to live to 100".

brightside.me

Women Who Give Birth After 40 Are Likely to Live Longer, Doctors Explain Why

https://www.facebook.com/brightside

People tend to judge women who become moms later in life. But recent studies have shown that women who give birth in their 40s are more likely to live to 100. Turns out, there’s a clear link between taking your time to become...

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twink incel

Why is it stressful? Sounds like you're overthinking it. Youre still young, you still have time, just relax