Been dating my gf for 2 years. Seems like life has been a constant struggle for her that entire time. Normal?

Fellas is it g@y to seek comfort, security and help?

In all seriousness virtually all of you have received an enormous amount of help to get where you are in life whether or not you realize it so stop pretending to be some lone wolf sigma male. Also do you seriously think this stupid pseudo-psychoanalysis of people you know nothing about makes you look smart? I promise you it doesn't.

I had a boyfriend like that once (I'm female). Always something mysterious wrong with him, never happy, always negative, even a simple cold was a big deal that meant everything had to be cancelled. Good looking, young healthy man from a good family background, but struggled to hold down a job.

I was stupidly loyal to him and wasted years of my life. Eventually he cheated on me and ended it, then changed his mind and wanted me back saying he only cheated because he was depressed. But by that time, I'd put the word out for information on the grapevine and found out it was not the only time.

Obviously I'm not saying that would happen to you, but do consider moving on. Don't get sucked in any deeper, and make sure to avoid the 'accidental' pregnancy if she gets a hint you're thinking of checking out.

Now I'm married to a drama free man. Instead of worrying whether Mr Sensitive is going to be unhappy or just not turn up at all, we do fun things together.

If she is struggling for motivation then introduce her to Bekele. One night instead of watching Netflix with her, watch youtube videos of Bekele. It will inspire the fukk out of her to stop whining, especially that he had buisnesses and family to look after, and suffered many injuries, but is still the GOAT at 42, and could be winning the London marathon in a few months

Sounds like a reasonable description of my wife. It will never go away--and continues to be a source of frustration for me. I will say that for my wife (who had a very strong maternal instinct) it got better when she had kids--almost like she was wired for that, but not for working a corporate job. It also got better when she got on a regular work out plan and cleaned up her diet. But also, I'm currently working from home and watching a two-year-old kid while she is still asleep at 10am.

Your life will get significantly busier and harder as you get older--which means this behavior is likely to become parasitical rather than less.

It's really a personal question for you. I would ask the following questions:
•Is marriage with her worth it if you feel like you are carrying extra burden--which may or may not be acknowledged.
•Do you have the skills to kindly and effectively tell her to suck it up, get over it and get it done (I didn't and had to go to couples counselling to develop it).
•Is she showing the ability and working to improve (even if it won't go away). Going to therapy doesn't count, but rather look for her attempt to try new tactics and strategies to improve. In the end real improvement is what matters.
•Your kids are going to pick up similar traits through genetics and observation, is that a deal breaker?

One thing to remember, is that all of us are human so we all have something wrong with us. I will say for me, despite having this issue (and a few others) I do not regret marrying my wife.

Best of luck.
POW

I'll say what no one else will here. Women in general do not want to work full time and be financially independent. They want to raise a family and take on the critical job of being a mother.

This is unlikely to change so you should decide if you want to deal with it longer term, as in marriage.

Everyone you will ever date is flawed in some way. You can accept that and be happy or just keep looking the rest of your life.

It's a legit act of vandalism to take a teenage who can run 49 seconds for 400m and tell them that they're never allowed to run that event. Kersee has sucked the joy out of someone who could have been an all-time great athlete. And he's deprived fans of a rivalry for the ages with Hodgkinson and Moraa, and potentially some of the stars on the horizon, like Phoebe Gill. Making Mu run 1500m and pretending she can be competitive in a world where the very best run 3:50 is one of the dumbest coaching moves we've seen. And I don't care that she came second at USAs; she'd be competitive among the world elite in the 400.

Been thinking about you unc. You're at the perfect point to cut ties and get a nice dame 6-8months down the road. Don't deal with this swingers bs any more unc

wrong thread unc

My wife struggles with anxiety and is a chronic over-thinker and a bit of a perfectionist. She keeps notes and reminders in her phone every day.

I am more of the relaxed, "Whatever happens, happens, in the end we all die, so whether it gets today or tomorrow, does it really matter?" type person. I don't keep notes. I have reminders set up for important stuff like paying bills and appointments, but other than that, I kind of just "if i remember, i remember". If I forget something at the grocery store? Eh, whatever, its a 3 minutes drive back to it. Drives her NUTS. She says to me all the time "I don't understand how you've made it 46 years in life". I just kind of shrug and laugh.

I actually think it bothers her that things don't bother me the way they do most people.

Anyways....OP, people are just wired differently. You either want to live like that and learn to live like that or you don't. That simple. If you don't see it long term, cut if off now. Who cares what her friends and family or even yours really think about your decision?

Ok but no woman is a woman in general. Each woman is a woman in specific.

This is just women in general. Women are emotional and in constant need of validation. Thats why the corporate workplace is horrible with them and for them. They are perfect for looking after their kids and working 1-2 hours a day in the house

I would push back on your claim she is "healthy". Maybe physically, but emotionally she sounds like she is in a rough place. She sounds like she needs professional help (no shame in this and women are more likely to seek it than men) and then you being supportive of that (if you decide to stick around).

You might also want to see a counselor if you keep dating this type of woman. Some men like the role of savior or the thrill that some get with being around a person like this. It can be seen as you being such a good guy to stick with someone who is troubled when in fact it can be a disorder on your side.

I need to clarify this for anyone new here, this man is NOT an expert.

Surprised to hear she’s in her early 30s, the description is peak Zoomerism. Though some younger Gen Y’s, especially women, seem to grab onto the Gen Z way too. Does your girlfriend spend too much time on TikTok (defined as any time on TikTok)?

You are not an expert. You have only seen women in pictures so you dont get to hand out dating advice.

I'm having PTSD. She's Bipolar....run my friend, run.

It sounds like your gf is whiny. If that the biggest problem you have with her, then she is a keeper.