I was thinking I grin toothily, say “gobble gobble m****r f*****s” then HIT THE GAS.
Any other thoughts?
Tell him your wife is waiting at home for him and that you are usually too tired to satisfy her. It’s kinda hard to say all that in one breath while quickly passing by, so you may have to yell.
And then he might not catch it the first time and ask, “your wife what?”, at which point you might need to repeat-yell while enunciating maybe with hand gestures “she’s waiting for you, I can’t satisfy her coz I’m usually too tired”; he: “too what?”; you: “too taiiiiired…, go for her” as you run away.
When you cross the line, slow the last few steps and cross the line with a serene but serious look on your face, stop your watch, look at it casually as if this is nothing. Then kindly thank the volunteers as you walk/jog away from the finish area.
The story I remember hearing one year of the Tour de France was that Lance was apparently having a bad year and was seen panting and breathing hard on the early stages in the flats. The announcers were questioning if this might be the start of the end for him, with the powerhouse Ullrich ready to power the top.
When they reached the start of the first climb in the dreaded Pyranees, Lance peddled up, panting visibly, to Ullrich in the front. He then pulled up along side him with closed lips, noticably grinned at him, and proceeded to drop Ullrich in his tracks as he tore on up the ascent.
Ullrich never came close to Lance again, and the panting stunts were over. Furthermore, one of the announcers noted that when you see a cyclist with closed lips, it's a sign that they are not working that hard and have it under control.
Quite a show.
Which reminds me of another Lance story I heard about when he was new and unheard of, but emerging as a contender on the world stage. He did have a certain flare.
I was thinking I grin toothily, say “gobble gobble m****r f*****s” then HIT THE GAS.
Any other thoughts?
Tell him your wife is waiting at home for him and that you are usually too tired to satisfy her. It’s kinda hard to say all that in one breath while quickly passing by, so you may have to yell.
And then he might not catch it the first time and ask, “your wife what?”, at which point you might need to repeat-yell while enunciating maybe with hand gestures “she’s waiting for you, I can’t satisfy her coz I’m usually too tired”; he: “too what?”; you: “too taiiiiired…, go for her” as you run away.
Huh, not one person found this funny? :) I was rolling over laughing at how funny my own joke was, particularly the imagery of a cocky testosterone-depleted faster running OP urging a slower fellow runner to cůckold him while passing him but uncomfortably struggling to get across the message in a clear confident single attempt coz it’s so weird that the other runner is thoroughly confused.
I will never forget a time when I was running 1st leg 4x400m in middle school at an invitational. The guy outside of me said as we were getting in the blocks "this is where boys become men, this is where history is made" and proceeded to smoke the field 😂. So I'd probably use that.
When they reached the start of the first climb in the dreaded Pyranees, Lance peddled up, panting visibly, to Ullrich in the front. He then pulled up along side him with closed lips, noticably grinned at him, and proceeded to drop Ullrich in his tracks as he tore on up the ascent.
What was Lance selling? Did he pedal up wearing a trench coat filled with syringes?
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