Love my wife and would never hurt her but

I would never hit a woman. Never ever ever. You just can't do it. I would NEVER hit a woman

But I'd shake the sh&t out of her!

Earplugs for the wife when she is talking, earplugs out when you are laying the wood, burner phone for the one you want to hear.

The sex is going to be amazing when you both finally surrender to your desires.

Add her on strava

Hide nothing from your wife. I have text chats with women and let my wife read them. I might have coffee or a beer with women and let my wife know about that, too. To me, it sounds like you’re pondering something your wife would not like or else you would not be hiding it.

OP if you are reading my comment right now you have gone too far in this thread. Circle back to this first response quoted here, heed this advice, and don’t open this thread again.

pics or gtfo

B.S., no one is just attracted to their SO, in my opinion, and it pretty much fades away from sexual attraction to a strong, loving, pair bond.

in my opinion, if you weren't attracted to this lady, you would have already included her as a "friend" openly with you and your wife and never interfaced with her the way you are now

I cheated on my first love (I'm also her first love and the first person she had done anything with or made out with) beginning when she and I met when she was 18 and I was 20. I began cheating and lying on a slippery slope very early in the relationship. I had no idea of myself, who I was, and had no trust in the world, and for various reasons, this made it easy to cheat. I justified it through many reasons, and it was never about hurting her, but anyway, I did the wrong thing and continued to "medicate" for the shame and pain by continuing to seek trysts and validation...

I lived with her for 4.5 years, dated for 6.5, traveled and spent thousands of nights together - until age 26. Then finally I told her, my entire family, and her father, in that order. And unlike you, I was way too deep into the lies to just have an easy go with it

I dunno man. You'd probably best just deal with your stuff now. I had a chance to come clean where she caught me texting some chick a year into the relationship, but I begged and lied that it was a one time thing, because I wasn't ready to leave my comfort blanket of shame yet, but now you have a brilliant time to tell your wife that you've been bro-ing out texting a woman platonically

A) This might be one of the worst thread titles ever. You are lucky nobody saw it and assumed you were a psycho axe murderer.

B) You need to talk to you wife about this. Resolve this situation at home. Another women is a band-aid that isn't going to fix your relationship.

If B) isn't possible, then you have to figure out what you mean when you say you "really love" your wife. If you can't do that either, then you and your wife need to get some counseling (or other form of help).

I agree with this. Why does the person you are sharing interests and ideas with have to be "a beautiful woman"? You act like you need someone to hang out with and talk to and share ideas with. Those are called friends.

BTW, would you still be as close to this new woman if she were rather ugly? No? Then you are not just friends.

I bet your wife gave you these same feelings in the early days. grass is rarely greener.

I see two things wrong: 1) If it is innocent, I mean really innocent, then there is absolutely nothing to hide from your wife: 2) perhaps you are not being honest with…..yourself. Do you really have no physical attraction to this beautiful woman? This is hard to believe. Of the hundreds of thousands of thoughts we have in a day, not even a stray sexual thought about her at all?

When you say “there is no chance we would ever leave each other or that I would even want to cheat on her”; actual, factual statistics are very much against you. Something like 40% to 50% divorce, and a higher percentage cheat and separate without actually divorcing.

Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.

You need to elaborate on this because it's quite possible your wife's disinterest in your ideas, is because your ideas are idiotic. The fact that you're asking life advice on LRC is indicative of this.

Just tell your wife about her and that you are excited about this friend and your shared interests and then go do something together with her and your spouse

I'm quite surprised nobody has brought this up yet, but we need pictures of both your wife and this other woman. Without them, all further discussion is practically useless

Maybe you ought to take her criticism to heart more. If everything else is ok, then it seems worth a shot to check yourself out. If shes wrong tell her so and how!

1. Your wife doesn't respect you. This is a problem you should be addressing. Either improve yourself or your relationship so that she does respect you or my advice would be to end the relationship. You're obviously not happy.

2. You're talking online about a woman's smile, covertly text back and forth with a woman, and are going so far as turn off your phone to hide this friendship but you're not interested in her? Horsesh*t. You're both married. Be careful, bud.

Come on. Easy answer, invite her into the bed with your wife. Wtf. Are you trolling?

Jesus, OP, do you know what communication is? Tell your wife that her dismissing your ideas hurts your feelings, and please stop doing it. Problem solved. Now if you continue to cheat (and yes, you are having an affair), you need to take a hard look at yourself. Cheating is rarely about the partner and more about you seeking validation. Or it’s a yearning to escape reality and return to the less complicated early stages of a relationship where everyone is excited and lust reigns. Do some self-reflection and develop some emotional intelligence. And most importantly, deal with your sh*t that’s causing you to behave this way.