I'm 20 and never had a relationship. Is the problem me or women?

If you get matches on dating apps, then your height and looks are not the problem. Because of the gender ratio in these apps, you have to be good looking to get matches.

Find a local community group that has a lot of women. Your issue is probably that you don't meet enough women on a regular basis.

Why do I say this?

I studied Computer Engineering in college in a place where less than 5% of the entire major was women. We were all sinking hours into studying and any study group I was in was almost all guys. Although most people I knew were pretty normal and sociable, only a few guys really had success dating. As soon as we got out of school into the real world, however, dating was pretty easy.

We could just show up to groups and events and half of everyone there would be women. Also, with degree in hand, the pressure of work was a lot lower than the pressure of school. Now everything was on easy mode.

If this is real and not a troll post, I think you sound kind of shallow, tbh.

Most important, you shouldn't be "rating" women with numbers. I can tell you I never, ever thought of women like that.

You want to meet and get to know women who are nice people, interesting, reasonably intelligent, and MOST OF ALL that you can get along with well. Using some number to evaluate them is not realistic and not a good way to get at the truth of a person's value.

Maybe the girl you rated a 4 for looks is also a 9 for empathy and kindness and willingness to put up with your bullsh*t. A girl like that is a treasure. Whereas a girl you rated 9 for looks may not be that nice and probably won't put up with your bullsh*t or maybe even want to talk to you. See what I mean?

So put numbers out of your mind and just try to get to know some nice people. NICENESS and compatibility will wear a lot better over time than looks.

sounds like you’re gay

It's clear to me that you're shopping in the wrong market.

A 20-year-old, 5'6", semi-sub-elite guy with your manifest assets would do well looking for a 'Daddy' for a little post-run 'stretch-out', if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

You may be the victim of foodie calls. Women on dating apps will go out on first dates just to get a free meal. And in general women in their early 20s on dating apps are just looking for attention and have no intention of getting into a relationship. Delete the apps and meet women through friends and family, volunteering, running clubs, no college classes (cooking, gardening, etc.), events (festivals, concerts, etc.) and through church/synagogue if you are religious. First dates should be after you have spent some time getting to know someone so that you are comfortable and relaxed with them when you go out. First dates with a total stranger are pretty awful no matter what your personality type as there is too much pressure to impress and make a connection.

Probably you. Gain some maturity and experience. Maybe you can find love

Try as hard at dating as you do at running. Have variety, find your weaknesses, and improve your game.

You are 20, you will be okay.
I think one downside to dating apps (and I have used them) is that we sort of keep score whereas before dating apps we went on dates but when they did not pan out (as most 1st dates won't) we just moved on. It seems harder to do that now.

When you are highly focused on one thing whether it be running or school or job, that can impact other things.

No idea why you cannot get past first dates, but again most first dates never lead to a second date.

You are young, there is plenty of time.

the rating scale stuff reminds me of the recent meme girl who is "Looking for a man in Finance, Trust Fund, 6`5, Blue Eyes." a stats podcast i listen to broke it down, part by part, and said there might be 7 men in the whole UK who fit that description. who then might not like her back, particularly considering the moneygrubber vibe.

i say this because rating scale crap resonates like that. you are looking for people you enjoy hanging with, who you find attractive. putting a darned score on it only messes up that process, and artificially shrinks your dating pool. which is particularly dumb when you can't even get a date.

my suggestion to people in your place is broaden your interests. some athletes are akin to olympic gymnasts who train every day. they go to class, practice, hang out with guys, home. they don't have a lot to say beyond their sports, because that's where all their time goes. they may be interesting people but only after a while around them. they are almost autistic that way. if you want out of that, explore some side interests. hobbies, art, music, travel. broaden yourself beyond a jock. you then may meet women with those side interests. or those side interests may make you more interesting to be around. work on you.

failing that, jocks tend to understand each other and have common interests and obsessions.

last point, but the "scale" tends to reflect an abstracted idea of women by people not getting much. in the sense of treating them as pieces of meat and sex objects. in the sense of often reflecting conventional social ideas of beauty. just start talking to girls. any girl. get to know people. you may find if you actually talk to them, that in reality your ideas of what is attractive are different from what your fashion-driven scale said. or that you love that girl you were about to dismiss with a 7. that having met her, she's your 10.

last last point but a lot of these incels are almost like you're owed something or someone. it's oddly at odds with their own often-libertarian politics, which should suggest they can do whatever but so can the females. so work on you, become a more interesting human, and just talk to people, including plenty of girls. if you engage them rather than put them on a scale you might find your chances go up.

Expert here. People have analyzed women's behavior on dating apps and the results are disturbing. They are only interested in the top 3% of men on those apps and disregard all the other men. That's unless they want a free dinner, of course.

But in reality, most women will have to settle because they are not good enough themselves for the 3% of men they all want and will realize this at some point. They will settle because they are security seeking beings. They will take a man who gets them a house and has a stable job but if they had the opportunity, they dump him immediately for a Mr Top 3%. Just know that.

Find a non-demoninational or megachurch in your area.

Get involved in all the groups and activities.

Focus on the younger churchgoers.

You should find some single women.

did you seriously respond to a troll post, think about it for a few hours, and then respond AGAIN?

Probably because you never call them back because your unrealistic ranking isn't high enough. Also because you're afraid, so you make up this stupid ranking so you'll feel selective rather than afraid.

I will give you some thoughts in case this is a legit post. If you are attracting women but not keeping them, there is something about you that is actively turning them off and away from you. Most men have an incredibly hard time even getting first dates with any women. In my experience, women almost always want a second date even when the first one doesn't really go that well, so if you're not getting to a second and third date, you are either behaving really badly, saying inappropriate things, or have something about you that is offputting like smelling bad, poor eye-contact, something.

I would try very hard to study social and emotional intelligence and how to behave like someone people want to be around. This is not criticism at all. At 20, you are still learning. I was when I was that age too. I did not lose my virginity until age 21 and then started becoming very successful with women by my late 20s, like crazy successful honestly.

Also, something else that pertains to this discussion but really life in general, letting go of your ego will make your life 1000x better. This is something that takes most people a lot of work, but try very hard to not have an ego, don't get offended or defensive, take feedback, don't think you're better than others (or at least care about it), etc. This will help you in all areas of life, not just dating.

It’s you. I’m not trying to be mean. Women are good at finding guys with good genes. It’s what millions of years of evolution programmed them to do. If you aren’t getting any, it’s because you’re genetics aren’t very good. It’s good to understand this so that you can plan your life accordingly. It’s imperative to read “the rational male” series by Rolo Tomassi so you can have an academic understanding of how the world works. One other thing, don’t commit suicide just because you have bad genes. Just do the best you can and you’ll enjoy life anyway.

yet somehow millions of years of evolution produced this guy ^, whose identity I think we all know

Answer these 2 questions honestly:

1. How tall are you?
2. What would your honest rating be? 1-10

20 year old women will care about stuff like that the most. It is what it is

the problem here, as it always is,

is women

Get a bear costume. Wear that. I think I read online that that's what women are into now.