How do you personally let go of "baggage" in your life? Asking for advice

You’re right, it was my resistance to being raped as a child that created all the suffering. What enlightenment, such a genius.

In my experience, the most effective, longest lasting way to let go of things like this is by working through it with a therapist. They are trained to help get to the root of what you are feeling, what is driving those feelings, and compartmentalizing into what you could control and what you couldn't.

While religion, therapy etc I'm sure is good for this I found putting energy into something almost as intensely as college running helps.. it really set me apart in my career then I put that frustration and anger back into running... Funny thing is the people and coaches I was angry with and the NARPs that couldn't relate to me I was no longer angry at and now could relate to them. Finding an outlet to obese/be addicted to isn't always a bad thing... Only when those things are destructive: alcohol drugs etc. Not that you can't do the latter but they need to be very carefully checked as they can be an easy downfall to drown out your anger... I try to only drink if I am happy/accomplished something. If I am angry about work etc I won't touch something that would amplify my emotions... All about knowing yourself.. overall college is way worse than post college. You have little income and lots of pressure.. post college if you are disaplined about spending that swaps and you have income and less pressure which allows you to enjoy trips, nights out hobbies etc

like a dog would.

Piss on it and walk away

Not your resistance to being raped, that’s not what was said.

Trauma is not what happens to us, or what goes on around us, but what goes on inside of us when something else is happening. And if that doesn’t get resolved (and very often does not), we live with the trauma. We experience the event over and over and over. That’s traumatic.

Memories, on the other hand, are not automatically traumatic. Lots of people can remember terrifying, horrific events in their lives without experiencing trauma again and again.

I’ll assume you’re being honest, and that you were actually raped as a child, and my heart goes out to you.

Lots of people say time heals, but they don't tell you what to do during that time.

Work through what really happened, and why, and what you learned from it (if anything -- sometimes stuff just sucks and you don't learn much). Do this on your own, or with a therapist. Make it intentional -- you are thinking about it in order to process it. Don't rush it. Be honest with yourself. Maybe this takes a couple of days, maybe months or years; it depends on the hurt.

When you're satisfied that you have really looked at it, and there's nothing left to process or learn from, then gently but actively deflect when it pops back into your mind. Remind yourself that there's nothing more you need to do with that, and think about something else. It takes PRACTICE. But over time, by not indulging and wallowing, you will stop constantly strengthening the connections in your brain underlying those memories. Literally, they will take up less of your brain space. That's not to say that it won't still randomly pop into your mind and sting you (it will, I promise), but it will be easier and easier to set aside as just something that happened, and you are now on to another part of your life. And fates willing, you will have so much more life.

So time heals... but it's more effective if you actually use the time instead of just try to wait it out.

You ask how we did it, not what’s right or proper… so, for me in order to understand and deal with some dumb stuff I did *I reviewed the suspect bad behavior and looked at it from a perspective that allowed that it was pretty dickish stuff but I was doing all I could to survive.* a serious injury combined with a few personality problems made it essential to either forgive myself and move on or drop out and mope for the rest of my life. Forgive yourself, change, and move on.

It's a normal process. Reflects emotional investment and that you care.

Sometimes it's hard to accept how people have wronged us, or causes us difficulty. One thing that helps is realizing they are human and also make mistakes or just don't handle things perfectly either. It's unlikely many people who hurt us have intentionally or maliciously done so. That has helped me a lot to be honest. And then also a scrubbing practice. Really feel the anger hate etc. Let it well up. Let yourself scream and cry. Give it the respect it deserves that your body wants to feel and process it. This very physical process can help clear it out a little emotionally too.

Also. Realize eventually the pain and the memory of it becomes more toxic, long lasting than the events themselves if you let it. And then you realize it's less about them and about your own experience and feelings towards it. Which kind of builds more bitterness. Just bringing awareness to this potential process is helpful. Both in forgiving them, but also yourself for accepting you're human and might not have all the tools to go through the after period quickly/as gracefully as you want.

Dropping Let's Run