zxcvzxcv wrote:
A cocktail party is one thing, a wedding another. Go with your kids and she can go f all if she doesn't like it.
Don't do this. You might think it's lame of them to not allow kids, but it is their decision to make. The decision in front of you is to either attend under the conditions you were invited under, or to not attend. Don't go if you don't want to, but if you go and take your kids, you become the entitled one in the story.
Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:
So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants.
If the guy has any brains he'll run away as fast as he can. Recipe for hell on earth right here.
Let me just tell everyone that is getting married this right now.
NOBODY wants to go to you frigggin wedding AND reception AND rehearsal AND blah blah blah. NO-FRIGGIN-BODY!
Actually, you family and close friends would be various degrees of interested in going to the actual wedding. Especially if you (or the family) is religious, Catholic or whatever. Its a big deal then and people will be thrilled to witness your vows and go to a wedding mass (or whatever your faith calls it). That is the important part.
Nobody except your drunk uncles want to attend anything requiring burning a day, wearing a suit (or worse) while listening to bad dj music, dancing (?), and eating caterer food while drinking cheap booze.
We ALL literally have better things to do. ALL OF US!!!!
So have your marriage ceremony, then maybe have a brief reception onsite (cake and thats about it) and move on to your honeymoon.
We all have better things to do than watch you and your future ex-spouse make googly eyes at each other. Seriously. Also, you'll save a ton of money. Instead of a 40K reception and a 15K honeymoon, go on a 55K honeymoon. Or buy a car. Or pay off debt.
Literally 80% of the people at your reception hoo-ho are grinding their teeth and wishing they were doing something else.
Other guests don’t want kids at a wedding
One day a prince will come wrote:
I personally also find it annoying that people put on so many restrictions and expectations on weddings. If it would be me, I would not pay for a babysitter, I just wouldn't go.
I hate pretentious weddings but I had a lot of fun weddings without all of that BS.
Thanks for sharing your honest point of view. This is what I am going to do because of the restrictions and expectations. I will compromise and attend the formal ceremony and not feel guilty about skipping the after party.
Internet Tough Guy wrote:
I've been to dozens of weddings and no one wants little kids at a wedding except the parents of said kids. Or, if the people getting married have kids already.
INCORRECT!
Yes. It’s very normal to exclude kids from weddings unless they’re low key picnic type events. No one wants to dress up and go to a cocktail type party with a bunch of kids screaming and running around. If anything a couple of nephews or nieces may be invited if they’re in the wedding party.
Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:
So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants. She makes a ton of money and her fiancé is east coast old rich who makes way less than her but of course is waiting for his family estate. She has had 6-7 events leading up to the wedding and it’s really getting exhausting. I will definitely go to the wedding because she is my family but I felt bad when she told me I am not allowed to bring my 3 year old son to the wedding. My son is not misbehaved and she likes hanging out with him the few times we do hang out. She is saying no one can bring kids so she is not discriminating only against my son. However, the wedding ceremony is at 2 pm and then the reception is at 6 pm which means we need to find a baby sitter for 8+ hours on a Saturday.
Is it normal to ask guests to NOT bring kids? I’ve heard mixed results from people. Some people say “oh yeah, kids ruin everything.” To “weddings are family events and it’s totally normal to have all ages.”
It puts a burden on parents to find a sitter for that long.
my plan was to attend part of the wedding, the ceremony, and skip the reception but I would be committing suicide with them because they would get pissed and call me selfish that I am not 100% supporting her. they came to my wedding so I definitely feel like I owe them too. I also don’t like that it’s a pattern: they invited us to their cocktail engagement party but told all the guests not to bring kids. We went and had an ok time and thought it was odd, but we did what they told us to do. I thought ok for an engagement party I can see how they just want adults. Now for the wedding they are telling us not to bring our kid.
i am slightly offended and contemplating pissing them off by not going to the reception solely because they are excluding my kid. But that would cause a lot of stress.
or just F it. just go and deal with it.
TLDR: wedding is not allowing kids to any of the events. Is that normal? Or is it normal to have kids at weddings?
Kids don’t belong at wedding receptions, hire a sitter or stay at home.
Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:
So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants. She makes a ton of money and her fiancé is east coast old rich who makes way less than her but of course is waiting for his family estate. She has had 6-7 events leading up to the wedding and it’s really getting exhausting. I will definitely go to the wedding because she is my family but I felt bad when she told me I am not allowed to bring my 3 year old son to the wedding. My son is not misbehaved and she likes hanging out with him the few times we do hang out. She is saying no one can bring kids so she is not discriminating only against my son. However, the wedding ceremony is at 2 pm and then the reception is at 6 pm which means we need to find a baby sitter for 8+ hours on a Saturday.
Is it normal to ask guests to NOT bring kids? I’ve heard mixed results from people. Some people say “oh yeah, kids ruin everything.” To “weddings are family events and it’s totally normal to have all ages.”
It puts a burden on parents to find a sitter for that long.
my plan was to attend part of the wedding, the ceremony, and skip the reception but I would be committing suicide with them because they would get pissed and call me selfish that I am not 100% supporting her. they came to my wedding so I definitely feel like I owe them too. I also don’t like that it’s a pattern: they invited us to their cocktail engagement party but told all the guests not to bring kids. We went and had an ok time and thought it was odd, but we did what they told us to do. I thought ok for an engagement party I can see how they just want adults. Now for the wedding they are telling us not to bring our kid.
i am slightly offended and contemplating pissing them off by not going to the reception solely because they are excluding my kid. But that would cause a lot of stress.
or just F it. just go and deal with it.
TLDR: wedding is not allowing kids to any of the events. Is that normal? Or is it normal to have kids at weddings?
Get a grip. Kids shouldn't be at weddings. It is an event for adults.
It is not weird for weddings to have a "no kids" rule. In my experience it's about 50/50 kids vs no kids. They are the ones planning the event, so it's up to them, and if you make a huge fuss over this, you're being weird.
On the flip side, if they implement a no kids rule, they have no right to get angry if some of their guests have to leave early as a result. Honestly I think this works out perfectly for you. Get a sitter for a few hours so you can hit the ceremony without having to manage your kid through the whole thing. Then you have the perfect excuse to skip the reception, and it sounds like you're psyched about that.
If they get mad at you, then they're 100% in the wrong and can pound sand. Imagine throwing a fit because someone has to leave your PARTY to take care of their FREAKING KID. Don't stress about this, sounds like you already have it figured out.
Will kids be invited to the divorce, or just the one or two of their own for sentimental purposes?
I wouldn't want your kids (or any kids) at my wedding either. #childfree
One more thought, I supposed it does depend a little bit on how close a family member this is. If it's a sibling then you should probably just suck it up, get a sitter for the full night, and at least attend the start of the reception. Based on your description though, this sounds more like a cousin?
If it's not nuclear family then you should feel totally free to bail on the reception.
We welcomed kids at our wedding and have no regrets. They were all respectful and made things more fun.
That said, this is an extremely normal request for a couple to ask of their guests. Wedding venues often charge per head for both food and alcohol — they don’t care if an infant is partaking in neither. It’s awkward to invite your third cousin or something and then find your budget go up by $1K when they decide to bring the whole family.
Some really wealthy couples will hire on-site childcare for their weddings. This is incredibly expensive, of course, but a nice gesture if the couple is significantly more wealthy than the attendees. This is not common by any means.
Some couples want a certain kind of “high-class” vibe at their reception and see kids as detrimental to that. That’s not for me, but also not for me to judge. I’ve been to weddings with jungle juice fountains and don’t judge that either.
It’s a little alarming that you’re calling your relative “the princess of the family.” If you have such a poor opinion of them, then why go out of your way to try and go to this wedding in the first place? You may not be missed and with no hard feelings.
Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:
So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants. She makes a ton of money and her fiancé is east coast old rich who makes way less than her but of course is waiting for his family estate. She has had 6-7 events leading up to the wedding and it’s really getting exhausting. I will definitely go to the wedding because she is my family but I felt bad when she told me I am not allowed to bring my 3 year old son to the wedding. My son is not misbehaved and she likes hanging out with him the few times we do hang out. She is saying no one can bring kids so she is not discriminating only against my son. However, the wedding ceremony is at 2 pm and then the reception is at 6 pm which means we need to find a baby sitter for 8+ hours on a Saturday.
Is it normal to ask guests to NOT bring kids? I’ve heard mixed results from people. Some people say “oh yeah, kids ruin everything.” To “weddings are family events and it’s totally normal to have all ages.”
It puts a burden on parents to find a sitter for that long.
my plan was to attend part of the wedding, the ceremony, and skip the reception but I would be committing suicide with them because they would get pissed and call me selfish that I am not 100% supporting her. they came to my wedding so I definitely feel like I owe them too. I also don’t like that it’s a pattern: they invited us to their cocktail engagement party but told all the guests not to bring kids. We went and had an ok time and thought it was odd, but we did what they told us to do. I thought ok for an engagement party I can see how they just want adults. Now for the wedding they are telling us not to bring our kid.
i am slightly offended and contemplating pissing them off by not going to the reception solely because they are excluding my kid. But that would cause a lot of stress.
or just F it. just go and deal with it.
TLDR: wedding is not allowing kids to any of the events. Is that normal? Or is it normal to have kids at weddings?
Sorry, but who cares about your burden? It's her wedding, and she can have it be any way she wants it to be, and then you can participate or not. You don't get to b!itch about not being able to bring your 3-year-old to the wedding...and sorry, but unless your 3-year-old is disabled in some way, he behaves like a 3-year-old, and that's not what everyone wants at a wedding.
Yes people do this a lot, but it actually doesn't matter if it's normal or not. It is HER wedding, and she gets to have it the way she wants it. Period. Stop it, Karen.
trollism wrote:
Hate to break it to you, but I think you're the princess of the family.
^This
0/10 Mod shall delete OP.
It's difficult for people without kids to see it from the perspective of people with kids and vice versa.
When we got married I don't think we really had any small kids in our immediate friends/family group but I remember thinking it was a little strange that some extended family brought their young kids.
Fast forward to having young kids of our own. One of my wife's best friends was getting married half way across the country. We totally would have gone if not for the no kid policy. Like I'm supposed to take the family on an airplane/drive to some difficult to reach Location and then hire a stranger to babysit my kids while I go to your wedding? It just seemed crazy that they couldn't see how prohibitive that was.
If you guys don't like kids, why are you getting married?
trollism wrote:
Hate to break it to you, but I think you're the princess of the family.
Letsun shrink trollism projecting again.