People who were in a bad marriage for a long time and finally divorced, what was the turning point/last straw?

Love my kids and wife. Definitely feeling like our marriage will get back on track but the kids kind of consume everything at the moment. I think our marriage probably took a backseat to the kids most days, if not all the days, but trust things will start returning to normal. My kids are 2.5 and 10 months which is the brutal time but starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'd also caveat that we live very far from family, so on our own most days which definitely compounds it. Looking forward to getting snipped and getting things back on track.

This is absolutely ridiculous lol. Staying home with the kids is more than a full time job. It’s a 24/7 job that is totally unpaid. And for a man to act like he is providing everything is ridiculous. What if she actually did nothing and you had to pay for outside child care instead? You’d be thousands of dollars in debt. Being a stay at home mom is not “choosing not to work”

For some, the triggering event is being able to afford divorce.

There were rumors that Carlos Danger's wife was more interested in her boss.

You've got to be sh!ting me!

Hang in there man. You and your wife will make it through. You've have two kids that are still in diapers. Keep helping your wife raise them. The intimacy part will come back during the toddler stage.

Don't feel too bad for him. He has a 2.5 mointh old and a 10 month old. So, he must have two wives?

Anyone married for more than 10 years that even WANTS to bang their wife is lying like hell. Things just get too familiar. Gross.

For me it was seeing my wife giddy like a crushing teen over another person. These emotional affairs happened a few times around 5-10 years of marriage. I'd see the signs, we'd have it out, she'd stop, get depressed... I tolerated it because these were with other women. These were not just close friendships, but intense longing for something I couldn't give.

Then for a long while things got better, more sex, kids getting older.

At almost 20 years there it was again. We went to a party at a co-worker's place and I saw the giddiness, the following around the guy's wife like a puppy, and I felt sick. It was different now. I could see the cycle would continue over and over. I didn't want this to be my life. Our sex life died and I finally got her to admit she is gay.

Am I happier? Yes and no. I'm glad to be out of that cycle, and away from other overbearing things about her. A couple of the kids didn't take it well. It's a lot tougher financially maintaining two households. But my problems are now my own and I deal with things the way I see fit. I dated someone and it was fun for a while, but neither of us wanted it to be permanent. I'd like to marry again at some point, I think, but I'm wary.

Solution: Get a hotter wife who takes care of herself. Problem solved.

In all seriousness though, variety can be exciting, but I'll take something repetitive that is full of quality over variety of average.

wasnt with my wife for a long time, should never have got married. Did. Got to 8 months and was miserable, packed it in and moved to miami. Honeslty best decision i ever made.

Come bang my wife and I guarantee you'll be singing a different tune. She's a freeeaaaaaaaak.

Does anybody even want to have sex more than twice a week?

I'm exhausted at the end if the day. My wife and I both usually prefer to just cuddle.

I think most couples who have been together for 10+ years are like us.

Smell swamp crotch once and it’s over.

Agreed. And throw kids into the mix complicates matters even more. If you and your wife, after dealing with what the day throws at you, are on such good terms that you WANT to be in each other's presence at the end, you have it better than most.

Raising kids and cultivating your marriage at the same time is really difficult. I'm further down the road than you. There have been days when it felt like its not worth it, days when I imagined I could thrive being a single parent, etc...

My advice is to carve out time for yourself, and to ensure your spouse does the same. This is NOT running time. Running needs to be done early, late or whenever it can be done and not impact the childcare routine significantly (or else it becomes an issue) Ensure that you AND your spouse get 1 night a week off, to go hang out with friends, go to the bar, watch TV, read, go for a walk, go to a show.... literally whatever, but no childcare. Its incredibly important. Its incredible important that your spouse does the same (I had to push mine out the door many times at the start).

Things are feeling pretty good now. There are ups and downs of course, but we have a good balance. The "love" part shines through a lot more.

It happened when I realized that I was Julia Roberts and I was married to Lyle Lovett.