most original runner heckle

"Your balls are dragging!"

I really didn't get it though. I was wearing short shorts, but it was about 40 degrees Farenheit and windy, so my balls were most definitely not dragging. In fact, they were practically retracted into my pelvis.

I wanted to stop and ask just what the f*** that comment was supposed to mean, but I was too cold to care.

I also had a middle-aged woman pull up while I was stretching and say "you have great legs!"

I had nothing to say. It's true. My legs look damn fine, and I'm one good looking motherf***er.

Shorter Bus wrote:

I also had a middle-aged woman pull up while I was stretching and say "you have great legs!"

I had nothing to say. It's true. My legs look damn fine, and I'm one good looking motherf***er.

I had a woman tell me that once. I replied, "Wait until you see my ass." She gasped, I took off running and after three laps, she's waving me over. I stop and she gives me her address which was only two blocks away. She said, "After your run, come take a shower and show me."

I f***ed her for about 4 months. Not continually; you know we took breaks for working, eating and running but otherwise we just f***ed for four months. I say that to tell you you should have followed up with something witty of your own. You never know where it could lead.

topher the track wrote:

Running - pretty quick cruise pace, down a long straight alley, there's this kid walking - no swaggering, coming the otherway towards me.

We watch each other as the gap closes.

As we get close I can see he's about 12 years old and 4'6" - now me, I'm 50 next birthday.

As we pass he looks me in the eye and says:

"You ain't so f***in' hard"

It was so ridiculous that it kept me chuckling for miles.

Haha. Two thumbs up for that kid.

One time I was doing a thirty-miler and had been listening to bullshit from wiseacres all day long - the usual catcalls, bits of military cadence, and cries of "FAGBOY!" Well I come around a turn - this is late at night - and this guy holding an open switchblade and wearing a ski mask (this was in July, no less) yells "Give me all your f***in' money!" I have to admit this was so original I not only burst out laughing, but handed over the $130 I happened to be carrying in my fanny pack in case I got hungry. Then, to get more in the spirit of things, I shook my fist and went "ARRRRRRGHHHHH!" like a crazy man or perhaps a pirte, but this only made HIM take off running at like 4:10 pace. That was some shit.

Howard Dean Karnazes wrote:

One time I was doing a thirty-miler and had been listening to bullshit from wiseacres all day long - the usual catcalls, bits of military cadence, and cries of "FAGBOY!" Well I come around a turn - this is late at night - and this guy holding an open switchblade and wearing a ski mask (this was in July, no less) yells "Give me all your f***in' money!" I have to admit this was so original I not only burst out laughing, but handed over the $130 I happened to be carrying in my fanny pack in case I got hungry. Then, to get more in the spirit of things, I shook my fist and went "ARRRRRRGHHHHH!" like a crazy man or perhaps a pirte, but this only made HIM take off running at like 4:10 pace. That was some shit.

You are a huge tool. If this story if true, I'm glad he took your money.

Shorter Bus wrote:

I My legs look damn fine, and I'm one good looking motherf***er.

If you are so good looking why are you doing that to your mother?

During track my senior year in high school my team was running down this road in my town on St. Patricks Day where theres a lot of college houses and frat houses and all these people are outside their houses drinking and having a good time. It was probably about 20 about and that seemed warm becasuse it was the warmest we had in a while so we all had shorts and t shirts and gloves on nothing really else.but anyways one guy yells want a beer ,like 10 others previously had, but then his friend says "shit they dont need any beer, theyre already f***ing wasted look at them." we thought it was funny and probably would of taken each person up on their offer of beer is our assistant coach wasnt running with us.

I f***ed her for about 4 months. Not continually; you know we took breaks for working, eating and running

That is the funniest comment in this whole thread

Alright we've all heard run forest run, nice shorts, car horns, and FAG!(i've actually had change thrown at me, almost been in a fight, and been spat on) but sometimes somebody with a brain and some wit decide to take a crack at a runner. The other day my teammate and I were running and some guy yelled "put some clothes on."(we were shirtless as well as short shorted) Instead of getting angry like usual I thought to myself hey I never heard that one before, props to the man who dished out that drive-by taunt just for being original. Whats the most original insult you've received as a runner?

I was wearing a heart rate monitor shirtless on the beach and some chick yelled, "nice tube top!"

She was a bit chubby, but so witty.

from some very drunk people,'hey nice shorts, how are those wee key holders??"

I was quite confused, in a way he was mocking me yet at the same time identifying very specificly to a very 'running' piece of equipment.

While running through the getto with my college team, a dude yelled, "Is this the run for Gay Pride?" We couldn't help but laugh.

sheister wrote:

'hey nice shorts, how are those wee key holders??"

Really funny! Didn't another poster say that he was going to have the best of both worlds and mock runners when he wasn't himself running?

'Put some clothes on' isn't original, and it's stupid.

I was running on the roads in a sketchy part of town with my training partner - we were looking extra gay with shirts off, short shorts and all; we came across this homeless man sitting at a bus stop at a stop light. He said something like this:

"Why are you running so much? Clearly you are in great shape; you just need to hit the gym."

Legimate question for some puny little runner boys...

This one I personally use on other people (I do enjoy a good heckle) but love to hear from annoying hecklers as well:

"Shirts are for wearing!"

Note, this only applies if the runner is shirtless.

"lucky bastard" today... by some guy that almost hit me with his car. I safely stepped onto the sidwalk. .4 seconds b4 he 0wned me. What's funny is that ten steps later I turned around and began sprinting after his car, hoping that he'd stop and get out, in which point I would have ran the hell out of there =P... well as I sprinted I raised my hand and flicked him off for about 20 seconds. He left quickly and I began laughing cause it had been so silly and brave of me to have attempted such a thing. I turn around and right there is a cop that had seen the whole thing... I sprinted out of there and the cop didn't even bother. good times good times =P

Running shirtless I had a kid say: "Put the chicken back in the cage!"

Once upon a time someone said

Did you Escape from Belsen