Should I pay more than my gf for rent?

Seems fair. Would you want both to pay equal if one of you earned minimum wage?

If you’re serious about her, then it should be no big deal since you’ll end up paying 100% of all the bills at some point anyway

Also if you’re really in banking you should be making high 6 or even 7 figures soon enough so stop whining about 70 freaking dollars

You should respect and appreciate the girl and provide for her. You are earning way more than me and you are only a graduate. Luckily I don't have to pay rent because I live for free at home and our mortgage is payed for already. When we go on vacation together I usually just pay for my mom's meals and drinks. If I was in your shoes I would be happy to pay the required rent and also be a good soulmate by buying her gifts and taking her out to feed. I don't like the sound of your relationship.

No, treat her as an equal. She will extend this logic to other bills if you agree to this.

You shouldn't be paying rent for your gf at all because you shouldn't be living together. This relationship is doomed to fail.

Only want equality when it's beneficial wrote:

No, treat her as an equal. She will extend this logic to other bills if you agree to this.

We have joint direct debits set up for other bills

xczxcz wrote:

Seems fair. Would you want both to pay equal if one of you earned minimum wage?

I don't think the difference is too much, but she says 9k a year is substantial

I consider her request fair. I did the same with my girlfriend (now wife) when we lived together in sin prior to marriage.

1answer wrote:

You shouldn't be paying rent for your gf at all because you shouldn't be living together. This relationship is doomed to fail.

+1

PopeFrancis wrote:

1answer wrote:

You shouldn't be paying rent for your gf at all because you shouldn't be living together. This relationship is doomed to fail.

+1

Is this a religious thing or something? Not really a concern for me

Otherwise, we've lived together 2 years happily and just wanted perspective on this on a fairness level.

AITA wrote:

PopeFrancis wrote:

+1

Is this a religious thing or something? Not really a concern for me

Otherwise, we've lived together 2 years happily and just wanted perspective on this on a fairness level.

Even if you were to leave out any religious concerns, why would you live with someone you weren't willing to marry? If you truly love her, then marry her. If you don't, then why would you want to live with her? Fish or cut bait.

If I were her there's no way I'd commit to live with someone who wasn't committed enough to marry me...ESPECIALLY after two years. Be a man and either marry her or respect her enough to cut her loose. As is, you're preventing her from getting on with her life.

It appears that you just want commitment free sex, all the while bickering over the price. That makes you a child and not a man.

Besides the fact that studies have suggested that couples who cohabitate before marriage have poorer outcomes than those who don't.

Keep in mind that women exist to extract resources from men.

I think this relationship will not end well for you cowboy.

This is what happens when couples don't pool their resources and consider it all one mutual stream. The 'my money' and 'their money' thing leads nowhere good. When it's all 'our' money it becomes much simpler to make it work without as many hurt feelings or score-settling.

Still, what you face is how the two of you will deal with power dynamics. She makes less but is trying to exercise power by getting you to pay more for rent, which will assuage her feelings of being the 'lesser' financially in the relationship. The first of many such engagements for you two in the coming years.

PRs of both? Pics of her?

But to answer your question we need to know: Does she spit or swallow?

Only if you get to leave the toilet seat up.

Is she charging rent, for the you know what?

If the two of you were just roommates, this would make no sense.

But you aren't roommates, you are in such a committed relationship that you have lived together for 2 years. I am a big fan of the idea of having a test run before marriage. You learn a ton about people by living with them and seeing them all day every day. We also grow and mature over time, especially in our 20s. So you may genuinely love this woman, yet it may not turn out to be the person you want to live with for the rest of your life. So living together first just makes a ton of sense.

But if this is really a test run, and it has been going on for two years, then I think making some adjustments may make some sense even if the rationale wouldn't really apply to a roommate situation. If this is someone that you see life unfolding with - and living with her for two years suggests it is - then you need to view this as a partnership more than a roommate situation, and that partnership means that you are in this together. If she wants you to demonstrate that partnership-not-roommate mentality by only splitting the rent disproportionately, then I think you are actually coming out ahead in the short term. In the long term, if your relationship continues to evolve, then all of the money you both make will, either actually or practically, be pooled and you will make your financial decisions together.

This is the first step down this road. If you don't think you want to take those other steps, you have two choices: (i) cut bait now and save her the grief she will experience when she finds out what you already know (this relationship isn't going anywhere), or (ii) keep rolling with something that is fun, even if it isn't going anywhere, and pay a relatively small price of $70/month in doing so.

But don't delude yourself, you have been living together for 2 years, and she thinks this is going somewhere more permanent (reasonably so from an outsider's perspective). You refusing this will be about more to her than the $70.

Do you live in Alabama?? Where I'm from (the UK, translated the amounts from £ to $) it's very unusual to get married before 25 while still on a graduate scheme (2-year structured job you do out of uni). It's very important for both of us to see how we get on living together 24/7 before committing to marriage. It would be insane to us, and pretty much everyone else in the UK, to get married before having lived together. Please cite your studies.