are there any decent jokes about runners?
when I was studying maths there were literally hundreds of maths jokes going round, and when I used to work in finance there were at least two decent jokes about finance directors but I can't think of a single joke that starts off with: three runners walked into a bar...
prove me wrong
before I get flamed, "runer" is Swedish for HobbyJogger
Three runners walked into a bar...
... the high jump official told them to get out of the way of the high jump competition and put the bar back up for the next jumper.
Three runners walk into a bar. The American takes the lead...and let’s check in with Dan O’Brien for an update on the shot put...
What does a letsrunner have in common with the exponential function? When they try to integrate with normal people they end up with themselves.
Steve Prefontaine, Emil Zatopek, and Paavo Nurmi walk into a bar. The place is otherwise deserted. They sit down, and Pre orders a beer for each of them. The bartender serves them, then says to Pre, "That'll be 45 dollars." Pre pays up.
After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence the bartender pauses from polishing glasses to say "You know, we don't get your kind in here very often."
Pre replies "At these prices, it's a wonder you get anyone in here."
Three runners walk into a bar. Before they can sit down the bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve runners in here."
One of them replies "That's okay, we're not hungry."
Q: How do crazy runners go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A: A virgin.
Q: How do you know when you've married a running enthusiast?
A: When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
Q: Who is the fastest runner of all time?
A: Adam, because he came first in the human race!
Q: If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
A: Twenty after one!
Q: What do you get when you run in front of a car?
A: TIRED
Q: What do you call a free treadmill?
A: Outside.
Q: What do you get when you run behind a car?
A: EXHAUSTED
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run! She's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have a competitive Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the United States
Q: Why did the chicken run across the road?
A: There was a car coming.
Q: Why can't you let a jogger be a potential juror?
A: Because you'll have a runaway jury.
Q. What's the difference between the Arizona Cardinals & the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game.
Q: Why do dogs run in circles?
A: Because its hard to run in squares!
Q: If I cut Usain Bolt what am I?
A: A boltcutter.
Q: How do you know your a dedicated runner?
A: When your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.
Q: Why do runners go jogging early in the morning?
A: They want to finish before their brain figures out what they're doing.
Q: If runners get athlete's foot what do astronauts get?
A: Mistletoe?
Q: Why did the vegetarians stop running cross country?
A: They didn't like meets!
Q: Did you hear about the marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?
A: He only had two feet!
Q: What is absolute jealousy?
A: The feeling you get when you're driving in your car and pass runners.
Q: Why can't you take a nap during a race?
A: Because if you snooze, you lose!
Q: What's the hardest thing about running cross country?
A: Telling your parents that your gay!
Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.
Q: What do you call running while listening to your favorite rapper?
A: A Snoop Jogg.
Q: What does a runner drink when she is in last place?
A: Ketchup.
Q: How did the barber win the foot race?
A: He took a short cut.
Q: Why did the trainer want her client to work out where it was sunny?
A: So she would feel the burn.
Q: What do you call a competitive runner who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Q: What kind of running shoes are made from banana skins?
A: Slippers.
Q: What do runners do when they forget something?
A: They jog their memory
Q: What do a dentist and a track coach have in common?
A: They both use drills!
three runners walked into a bar and the bartender says "get the fùck out of here"
Good one Black Caviar, just have to tell you that red caviar is way better!
So, here is rune:
:
Three runners walked into a bar...and sat awkwardly in the corner and didn't interact with anyone
Three ultra runners walked into a bar....everyone knew it because they all had plaid shirts, beards, trucker hats and ordered an IPA.
Three runners walk into a bar. The elite marathoner is ignored and even looked at suspiciously by the bartender. The runner's agent smooths things over and the runner finally drinks for free.
The charity runner is led to a "VIP" section of the bar and gladly pays triple for a watered-down drink that comes in a commemorative mug.
The blue-collar, regional-talent runner is forced to overpay for the cheap drink and landfill-bound "swag" and sit in the charity section, as there is no other option for him.
2 maybe 3 had some humor.
Most had none.
Three runners walked into a bar....
But before they did, they made sure the bar had tech shirts and finisher medals
Mo and Rupp walk into a bar outside of Oregon, sit down and have an uninterrupted meal because nobody at the bar knows or cares who they are.
rjk wrote:
Mo and Rupp walk into a bar outside of Oregon, sit down and have an uninterrupted meal because nobody at the bar knows or cares who they are.
Eluid Kipchoge could do the same thing and not a single person would recognize him. Hell, probably 99.9% of "elite runners" would have the same experience.
Bekele walks into a bar and orders a lager. The entire bar goes silent and everyone drops their pints in amazement. As Bekele goes to pay for his drink the entire bar jump in front of him and try to pay for his drink themselves.
I'll pay for your drink Bekele. No I will said another person. I saw him first. Everyone was fighting over who wanted to pay for Bekele's drink. The barman chuckled and said. Take it easy everyone, Bekele's drinks are on the house. Put your money away.
Banana Bread wrote:
Bekele walks into a bar and orders a lager. The entire bar goes silent and everyone drops their pints in amazement. As Bekele goes to pay for his drink the entire bar jump in front of him and try to pay for his drink themselves.
I'll pay for your drink Bekele. No I will said another person. I saw him first. Everyone was fighting over who wanted to pay for Bekele's drink. The barman chuckled and said. Take it easy everyone, Bekele's drinks are on the house. Put your money away.
...and then Bekele proceeds to DNF the drink, quitting with 1/3 of the pint to go.
Three runners walk into a bar and start arguing about the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of pygmies. They get thrown out by the bartender.
Black Caviar wrote:
(Riddles, puns, homophones and conundrums)
To be 10 years old again. Made me smile!