Boyfriend went to an all night party and now can't make it to lunch with my parents. How do I deal with this?

Assuming this is not an elaborate troll, you should, without raising your voice, tell him how disappointed you are. Then break off co tact with him for a few days.

If I may be so bold, I’d suggest giving some thought as to whether this is the sort of young man you want to spend time around. Partying until 6am? Using that as an excuse to break an engagement? Forcing you to make excuses to your parents? Mot good behavior at all.

I didn't waste my time reading the post but maybe you could just reschedule for dinner?

I' d Wonder if he hooked up with a hottie and shes still with him.

Not an elaborate troll.

I am planning to tell him how disappointed I am (without raising my voice). Breaking off contact seems a little immature though. You mean the "silent treatment"?

I don't think this was a party in the sense of an all night rager. I think it was more like a get together, which then ended up going late. To be fair, it's not something he does regularly if at all. Since it has only happened once, even if it's very disappointing, I wouldn't use it as a reason for a break up... if it became regular behavior I would though.

The problem is that he's sleeping around now and I don't know when he'll wake up so I can't really confirm anything with him about future plans right now.

Go to your parents by yourself. Tell them he is sick. This is the truth.

Don’t talk to him for a few days. He put you in an awkward position. Have a talk with him when you cool off.

If he does it again drop him.

Pics please!

-How old are you two?

-Does he post on here too?

-Not a question, but just a warning that Banana Bread will be inviting you to Starbucks and telling you how wonderful you are soon.

I tried to make up some excuse that he was working late and so it might be hard for him to come. My mom said 12 isn't too late and I waffled on a response. She asked if he could come to dinner, but I can't confirm that because he's sleeping right now.

It feels a bit immature to just drop contact for a few days... and I know he'll still try to contact me after he wakes up. I won't need to talk to him until at least this evening I suppose. I'm trying to figure out the best way to convey things.

We are both in our late 20s.

Seriously, the dude got back from a party at like 6 am and can't make it to lunch with your parents? LUNCH? That's probably scheduled for what..12 or 1?

Your boyfriend sucks. Get some sleep for 3 or 4 hours, wake up, get ready and show up for lunch? You can always go back to bed after lunch.

Original plan was to leave around 10:30 to go there... I thought we could even move it back until 11 or 11:30 but he's sleeping right now so there's no way to confirm except that his text before sleeping where he didn't think he could make it.

Drive over to his place, knock on his door and say "Let's go. I don't f****g care if you are tired, you committed to going and it's going to look worse for you when I tell my parents why you didn't make it. You can come back and sleep later."

I’m available right now if you want to do revenge anything

Not A Therapist... wrote:

Seriously, the dude got back from a party at like 6 am and can't make it to lunch with your parents? LUNCH? That's probably scheduled for what..12 or 1?

Your boyfriend sucks. Get some sleep for 3 or 4 hours, wake up, get ready and show up for lunch? You can always go back to bed after lunch.

Totally agree. I know how pissed I’d be, and you sound like you’re about to let him off easy.....in which case he won’t respect you. Time to move on, if you have self respect.

I agree... that's something I will bring up to him, that it wouldn't be all that hard to have just slept for a few hours, then get up and go to lunch and sleep afterwards. He does tend to not do well with poor sleep though, and I know in the past he's tried to be good about that (getting enough sleep, etc.) before meeting my parents so that he makes a good impression and doesn't seem too tired. I think he might have felt like it was better to not show than to show and be a zombie.

How should I not let him off easy? He is great in other ways so I don't think this one incident warrants a break-up (especially because he does seem sorry) but I do want to convey my disappointment. If it's something that happens again, I would definitely consider breaking up with him.

Agree with Canada girl. Don’t disappoint your parents. If he’s in in his late 20 s he should know better.

Why can’t he just sleep for a few hours and go? I assume lunch won’t be hours and hours. Tell him to toughen up a bit. I assume he’s not a runner.

Maybe if he trusted you more he’d feel comfortable telling you that he just doesn’t want to hang out with your mother instead of making excuses.

Raise your standards and move on.