After 8 years of marriage my wife has asked for a divorce. I first realized how bad things were about a year ago. We've tried working through things but she isn't happy. She asked me to change certain things about myself, which I have done and she has recognized that I have done, but says she still isn't happy and wants to move forward with her life without me. I still love her very much, but over the last 3 months I've come to realize that our marriage is over. Neither of us have ever cheated or been involved in a domestic dispute or anything wild, we've simply grown apart.
I'm more introverted than my wife probably realized when we were dating (I had stopped running then). When I picked up running last year to help deal with all this stress it just pissed her off more as she only saw it as more time away from her. My wife wants a man that's going to sit on the couch all weekend and watch musicals and love stories, and that just isn't me.
Here's my dilemma....we have lived in Colorado for the past 6 years & my wife wants to take the kids and move back "home" to be near her family in Nebraska. I have a great job here and recently got my 2nd promotion. I make enough money to live comfortably which has (since we got married) afforded my wife the opportunity to be a "stay at home mom." In the last 4 years my wife has started her own business (she's an "artist") and makes about $25k a year (zero of which she contributes to any bills or living expenses).
I'm TRYING really hard not to be a jerk, but there is ZERO chance I'm letting her take our kids out of state, not a chance. Everything we own is in my name. I told her that I would sign her vehicle over to her so that it's in her name and that I will pay for a place for her to live for 1 year while she gets on her feet on her own for the first time in life. I also agreed that I would give her 50% of my 401k as of today, which would be about $15k (am I overreaching here?).
We are trying to do this WITHOUT spending a ton fighting in court. I'm trying to do the "right" things while at the same time not screwing myself over. The only debt we have is our mortgage. I make about $85k per year and save as much as possible. Really just looking for some guidance and where to start as my whole life has been spinning out of control lately and sadly, running is the only thing keeping me grounded right now. I'm 34 years old and my wife is 29. Never thought I'd be "starting over."