To make a long story short, I smashed my son's Xbox with a hammer because he's been disrespectful almost constantly for the past year+.
He's 14, and I know he's been going through a lot lately (going to be a freshman, his mom and I got a divorce in November and had been fighting a lot before then). However, the things he's been doing and saying are absolutely unacceptable. He nearly got expelled at the end of this past school year for texting nudie pics of a fellow student to other students). This summer, it seems like all he does is sit in his room and play Xbox. I had been warning him that I was going to smash the Xbox with a hammer if his negative behavior/disrespect continued. After the latest incident (told me to "shut up" after I asked him to help with the dishes), I did just that. While I had been threatening this, I didn't actually intend to do it. I just felt such rage when he disrespected me that I just went ahead and did it, while he begged me not to the whole time. This was on Sunday night.
He hasn't spoken to me since, and I'm questioning my decision to smash the Xbox. He's basically been in his room the whole time with the door locked. I haven't even seen him come down for food/water, but I'm not at home during the day. He'll be going to his mother's house for the next two weeks starting on Thursday. I tried to explain why I had smashed the Xbox through the door, but he didn't respond or come out. I'm afraid he hates me, but I felt like I had to teach him a lesson. Any advice on what I should do? I will not be getting him a new Xbox.
Smashed my son's Xbox with a hammer as punishment. Now he won't talk to me. Not sure if I screwed up.
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The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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You’re his father, not his friend.
Most parents lack follow through, you clearly don’t.
That being said, the fact that it came to this means that something else was a problem in his attitude and relationship before this. Figure out how it got to this point, you may have to go back years.
While again, your reaction seems extreme, who bought the Xbox? If you did, you really smashed your Xbox. He doesn’t have anything until he’s and adult and/or worked for it. -
Boomer behavior
*cracks*
**sipss**
Made the darn zoomer smash the plaything himself... Teach him discipline like we used to have -
I don't know that I would have smashed the XBOX but definitely would have removed it from him. Yelling shut up to a parent? I called my Dad "dummy" once (and I repeat, once) when I was three. My butt gets hot just typing this as I recall the spanking I got way back in 1962. I'm pretty sure my Dad would have smashed the XBOX if they were around back then.
The kid needs a list of productive things to do when you're gone during the day. Most of them would be small chores around the house like sweep the garage out, mow the lawn, etc. The texting incident could have been a game changer if the schools and law enforcement got involved. Being expelled from school would have been the least of your problems. -
Wear this around the house
https://www.rarevintagewear.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_7002.jpg -
Dad here wrote:
You’re his father, not his friend.
Most parents lack follow through, you clearly don’t.
That being said, the fact that it came to this means that something else was a problem in his attitude and relationship before this. Figure out how it got to this point, you may have to go back years.
While again, your reaction seems extreme, who bought the Xbox? If you did, you really smashed your Xbox. He doesn’t have anything until he’s and adult and/or worked for it.
That's a terrible way to raise a child? Well not my clothes, guess I won't wear them. Well not my room, guess I won't clean it.
OP: Whether you bought the xbox one brand new at release or your son bought it by scrapping together money from a lemonade stand has no difference. You way overreacted and need to seek help. A father figure should be cool, calm, and rationale, able to express displeasure without resorting to violence. Violence should be a last resort to protect your family, not intimidate them into disobedience. What do you think is going to happen when this kid goes off to school? That will be the last time you see him. You could very well lose custody over this. And if I were the kid, I'd want to go live with mom permanently. The proper thing to do would have been to ground the kid from xbox for a few days/week.
The good news is that xbox one is a bit shite anyways. Make it up to him by buying a ps4. Joking, buy him an xbox one x. Today. Or you could just have your son know you are an as$hole for the rest of his life, up to you man. -
Dad here wrote:
You’re his father, not his friend.
Most parents lack follow through, you clearly don’t.
That being said, the fact that it came to this means that something else was a problem in his attitude and relationship before this. Figure out how it got to this point, you may have to go back years.
While again, your reaction seems extreme, who bought the Xbox? If you did, you really smashed your Xbox. He doesn’t have anything until he’s and adult and/or worked for it.
While the OP is clearly a troll, this is true.
You’re legally responsible for him, but you are also potentially legally responsible for his behavior. I’ll let that sink in.
If you’re dealing with this at age 14, you’ve got a rough 4 years ahead of you. Unless, you can start curbing this path, a smashed Xbox is going to look like a non-event in a few years compared to what you’ll be dealing with. -
Dad here wrote:
You’re his father, not his friend.
Most parents lack follow through, you clearly don’t.
That being said, the fact that it came to this means that something else was a problem in his attitude and relationship before this. Figure out how it got to this point, you may have to go back years.
While again, your reaction seems extreme, who bought the Xbox? If you did, you really smashed your Xbox. He doesn’t have anything until he’s and adult and/or worked for it.
The problem is that the dad does indeed lack follow through. Why is smashing an XBox an acceptable response? That XBox should have been taken away long ago. The dad can't even get the kid to open the bedroom to check on him? The son is in charge. He will use his dad's guilt over smashing the XBox to his advantage. -
scholar of things and stuff wrote:
And if I were the kid, I'd want to go live with mom permanently.
I doubt it. His mom basically ignores him. And he absolutely hates her new boyfriend, Dale. -
You need to figure out a way to deescalate things. Kids that age are too defiant, piling on the punishment after punishment is only going to excaserbate the situation.
Get back on speaking terms and come up with a plan where he can earn a new X-Box. -
Mad Dad wrote: I doubt it. His mom basically ignores him. And he absolutely hates her new boyfriend, Dale.
Dale should buy him a new XBOX -
Mad Dad wrote:
scholar of things and stuff wrote:
And if I were the kid, I'd want to go live with mom permanently.
I doubt it. His mom basically ignores him. And he absolutely hates her new boyfriend, Dale.
They don't need to give him attention if either she or Dale is willing to put $200 to a new xbox. Dale can buy the kid a new xbox, now the kid goes to his room all the time and leaves Dale alone to screw your ex-wife. Your ex-wife is happy because to both you and her, you look like a loser, whereas Dale looks like the man. I don't care what you do bud, but if I were you I'd go buy a new xbox one x and ask your son if he is willing to limit his playing to a responsible amount and respectful if you give it to him. If he acts like a jacka$$, take it back to the store. If he says he's willing to, lay out your expectations for him and apologize for overreacting. A quick call to cps saying you abuse your son could see you lose custody, especially if your son agrees to that assessment and smashing an xbox is definitely abusive. -
STOP!!!! Hammertime wrote:
You need to figure out a way to deescalate things. Kids that age are too defiant, piling on the punishment after punishment is only going to excaserbate the situation.
Get back on speaking terms and come up with a plan where he can earn a new X-Box.
The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child -
Mom's BF wrote:
Mad Dad wrote: I doubt it. His mom basically ignores him. And he absolutely hates her new boyfriend, Dale.
Dale should buy him a new XBOX
I'm just having a little fun with the MILF.
No way in hell I'm into this longterm.
Besides, the boy really is a dip-poop. -
Mad Dad wrote:
To make a long story short, I smashed my son's Xbox with a hammer because he's been disrespectful almost constantly for the past year+.
I just felt such rage when he disrespected me that I just went ahead and did it, while he begged me not to the whole time. This was on Sunday night.
Any advice on what I should do?
You screwed up big time. My dad was extremely abusive to me when I was a kid, many, many decades ago, verbally, physically, sexually. He used to walk up and slug me in the face with his fist, even when I was a little kid, and I never deserved to be treated in any of those ways.
I thought of doing many bad things to him, but never did, because he was much bigger than me, and because my mom depended on him. I felt very helpless to defend myself. However.... if he had ever smashed anything of mine or even ot of mine with a hammer out of rage.... that would have been a game changer. He often took naps in the living room.
You have just empowered him to see that it's OKAY for him to use a hammer to protect himself.
My advice is that you need to change your attitude fast, you need to apologize, you need to make this up to him, and you need to stop treating him so badly like you have been. -
One time in 1999 I told my dad, an army colonel, to talk to the hand (I was 5)... He slapped the sh!t out of me. Never told him to talk to the hand again.
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Agent #5304 wrote:
willing to help wrote:
It sounds like your son just needs a male role model outside of the family. Sometimes a kid just needs another guy to look up to, go out to dinner with, hang round with late into the night while gazing into the stars from the hammock at said role model's home. I'd be willing to help on this front. Would you maybe be able to maybe provide pics of the kid?
The FBI has tracked your IP address. We're watching you.
I said Sifan has a nice figure for a runner and that got taken down yet this is still up!? -
If I was out of line, my dad would belt me around the house...
I grew up pretty normal. I just learned to respect my elders.
Kids these days? Nope. If my dad did that to me these days and I said something, I wouldn't have a family no more.
I went though a similar experience. I lied to my dad about a traffic ticket, and boy did he flip. He got my Sega Genesis, took it outside, poured gasoline on it, and set it ablaze out in the driveway. Man was I pissed. But in a day I got over it and made amends with my dad, and he felt bad and bought me a new one with the Sega CD attachment.
Now that he's pushing up the daisies, I see clearly see why he brought me up like that. There's nothing wrong with getting belted a couple times, busting up a game console, etc to make me learn a lesson. In fact, I wish corporal punishment wasn't looked down upon.
It's just that some take it a bit too far. Getting belted or slapped is one thing, but he'd never punch me or do something he'd regret or anything that would've been life threatening.
