Divorced wife, moved away from kids 20 year ago. Adult sons are weird. Advice

Time machine.

Tough being normal when daddy abandons you.

... emotionally abandoning your children as you did 20 years ago isn't normal. Why would think you would have any influence in "normalizing" your sons now when, quite frankly, you've got more than a few screws loose yourself? Nothing like leaving your kids when they are young, then swooping in 20 years later only to judge their character.

most likely a troll, but... wrote:

... emotionally abandoning your children as you did 20 years ago isn't normal. Why would think you would have any influence in "normalizing" your sons now when, quite frankly, you've got more than a few screws loose yourself? Nothing like leaving your kids when they are young, then swooping in 20 years later only to judge their character.

I was very depressed, in a dead-end job and marriage I didn't like. I was looking for a way out. I regret my decisions, I know they were immature.

Like father like son, chip off the old block etc.

0/10

lookatme wrote:

Backstory: I divorced my wife and moved away from my young family about 22 years ago. We kept in touch and I financially supported them but only saw them a few weeks out of the year. Not interested in hearing what a jerk I am because I've been through that. I've apologized to my children about it. I have 3 kids, two sons and one daughter. I can't help but notice that my adult sons are a little off - no kids, no girlfriends, few friends decent careers but clearly unhappy. Very distant. My daughter has a good career and long term boyfriend and seems well-adjusted. But my sons...are just off. Any advice on how to make them normal?

You're a hopeless pvssy.

(This is a troll thread.)

doot doot wrote:

lookatme wrote:

Backstory: I divorced my wife and moved away from my young family about 22 years ago. We kept in touch and I financially supported them but only saw them a few weeks out of the year. Not interested in hearing what a jerk I am because I've been through that. I've apologized to my children about it. I have 3 kids, two sons and one daughter. I can't help but notice that my adult sons are a little off - no kids, no girlfriends, few friends decent careers but clearly unhappy. Very distant. My daughter has a good career and long term boyfriend and seems well-adjusted. But my sons...are just off. Any advice on how to make them normal?

You're a hopeless pvssy.

(This is a troll thread.)

Not a troll thread. Seeking honest advice.

You might explore the possibility of removing your DNA and inserting some better stuff.

Gene Wild wrote:

You might explore the possibility of removing your DNA and inserting some better stuff.

Y'all are mean - I already said I regret my decision, have apologized and am trying to move forward. I didn't come here to get insulted further. I am seeking honest advice on how to be a better father.

Walk away and start over. This troll attempt sucks.

lookatme wrote:

Gene Wild wrote:

You might explore the possibility of removing your DNA and inserting some better stuff.

Y'all are mean - I already said I regret my decision, have apologized and am trying to move forward. I didn't come here to get insulted further. I am seeking honest advice on how to be a better father.

Regret isn't enough troll.

You need therapy and a pair of testicles.

Sounds like your apples didn't fall far from the tree. The difference is that they don't dare even try for relationships because they know how bad it turns out when one fails. They need to understand that life is not about mistakes but what you do between your inevitable mistakes.

Honestly dude sounds like a dumb situation. You guys should all get together and do Molly and chill. It'll reset everything and you'll all bond. Then maybe get together another time and go out and have several pints of beer, have some laughs and whatever.

They may need help but it is unlikely they are willing to accept it from you. Talk to their mother about it.

Offer to come and watch their next little league baseball game, school play, etc. Not your fault they are too old to do those things anymore.

lookatme wrote:

Backstory: I divorced my wife and moved away from my young family about 22 years ago. only saw them a few weeks out of the year.

Very distant. But my sons...are just off. Any advice on how to make them normal?

You answered your own question. You ditched them 20 years ago and now they're distant.

What would make them more normal to you? Should they be married with 3 kids ready to be abandoned? Maybe you could invite them to hang out and drink all day with you. I'm just guessing you're an alcoholic, But maybe you own a multi million dollar company. Maybe you could bring them into your high powered circle you roll with.

lookatme wrote:

Y'all are mean - I already said I regret my decision, have apologized and am trying to move forward. I didn't come here to get insulted further. I am seeking honest advice on how to be a better father.

If that were true, why choose to get advice from a running forum famous for trolling and piss-taking?

It's obvious the mom programmed (aka brainwashed them). They are likely part of a cult. Google "cult deprogramming" for suggestions on how to get them back on track.