Men: why are promiscuous women considered undesirable?

There is absolutely no benefit for a man in this day and age to get married or be in a LTR with a promiscuous woman, all the cards are stacked against you, you would have to be insane to wife up a promiscuous woman in 2018.

I've been thinking about this recently, too, and while I'll avoid giving you the full version of my thoughts, here's the thing: men are way hornier than women and are way more willing to sleep with random women then women are to sleep with random men. This means that the SOLE restraint that keeps a woman from sleeping with a dozen guys is her willingness to sleep around (read: it's inside her control). Conversely, a SOLE major restraint that keeps men from sleeping with a dozen women is the women's willingness to sleep with him (read: it's mostly outside his control). This puts men at a real disadvantage. She has an very easy way to really screw over his emotions and the relationship, if she wants to. Women always have the sexual advantage over men, since men simply can't find women to sleep with them as easily as women can. (I've heard some crazy stories about this kind of stuff - for example, one of my friends slept with a woman who was married because she was getting back at her husband for cheating on her. The night after sleeping with him, she slept with a second guy. That's just how easy it is for women to sleep around - in retribution, she can sleep with two different guys on consecutive nights. Guys are not typically in that position because women tend to be less willing to sleep around with some random guy.) If she has slept around a lot, it means that she's got a low restraint on sleeping around. I encountered this recently with a woman. She's polyamorous. We dated for a few weeks. One thing that became very apparent was that she could sleep with a dozen guys (that she liked) in less time than it took me to find a single girl to sleep with (that I liked). It was very disorienting and emasculating.

I also wonder if it has something to do with the shape of our sexual organs. For men, after sleeping with a woman, his genitalia is easy to wash. When a woman sleeps with a man, she can't really clean up as easily. Her genitalia is shaped like a cup that's difficult to clean. I've slept with girls who have slept around, and I don't go down on a girl if I know she's sleeping around because who the hell knows what's inside there.

There's also the issue of reputation. Because men often don't respect the women they're sleeping with - particularly if it's just a short one-time thing. If a woman has a high partner count, she probably has quite a few of these. If a guy doesn't respect a woman, and you (another guy) make her a girlfriend, it's sort of an insult to you (as a guy). It's the reverse of pre-selection. In pre-selection, you think more highly of someone if lots of opposite-sex people want him/her. Conversely, if some other guy(s) see your girl as someone who's worth a shag, but not worth making into a girlfriend, it suggests that she's not worth being a girlfriend. Which suggests that you (the guy) are kind of loser if you make the girl (who wasn't "good enough" for him) into a girlfriend. Alternatively, if they were in a long-term relationship together, I'd expect him to be much more respectful and the breakup was probably difficult, which implies a certain respect towards her. Disrespectful one-night-stands are correlated with high partner counts. LTRs aren't typically correlated with high partner counts.

It's also possible that it's related to men's fear of cuckoldry and raising children that aren't their own. Women have an advantage in that they never have to question whether or not their children are their children. I realize that "high partner count" and "cheating" are two different things, but if a girl is slow to sleep around, it means she probably is going to be slow to cheat on you sexually, as well. Afterall, if a girl makes men wait months to sleep with her and only after establishing a strong relationship, then she probably has a low partner count, and she probably isn't quick to cheat, either (she'd make the "other man" wait for months and jump through all kinds of hoops first, too, which reduces the chances that she'll end up cheating). Conversely, if a girl has a high partner count, it suggests that she'll jump in the sack quickly with a guy. While she might be loyal enough in a relationship that she wouldn't do that, it's riskier that she will. We might say that the risk of cheating sexually is inverse to (loyalty + slowness to jump in bed). "Slowness to jump in bed" is going to be correlated with a low partner count and correlated with an unwillingness to cheat sexually. In my own personal experience, it seems like women that I've slept with have a correlation between a high partner count and a willingness to cheat. (I know this because they were either cheating with me, or they told me that they had cheated on men - boyfriends and fiances - in the past.)

Because they contain the sperm of a lot of other men, and it's gay to touch or go near another man's sperm.

A lot of people don't know that sperm can swim around for up to 5 days in a woman's uterus while they wait for an egg to roll by. A promiscuous woman's uterus can be the scene of fierce combat as the competing hordes jockey for position.

Bad Wigins wrote:

Because they contain the sperm of a lot of other men, and it's gay to touch or go near another man's sperm.

A lot of people don't know that sperm can swim around for up to 5 days in a woman's uterus while they wait for an egg to roll by. A promiscuous woman's uterus can be the scene of fierce combat as the competing hordes jockey for position.

You literally hit the nail on the head there Bradley Wigins. I guess guys going with promiscuous woman subconsciously like touching other guy's sperm.

Hahah it either gets deeper than this - read the link below

https://www.medicaldaily.com/dna-sperm-ex-partners-lingers-female-flies-and-influences-genetics-her-offspring-305934

Same reason promiscious guys are considered undesirable to women

LOL, SMACK! Cudos! ????

Some women just have the thousand penis stare.

Yep. A promiscuous guy might be OK for an interlude but a propensity for indiscriminate rutting is not an attractive quality if you're looking for anything beyond that.

Same reason men expect women to be the chief cook, housecleaner, grocery shopper, and caregiver for the children:

Sexism

Men expect women to be vestal virgins or thereabouts when they get together.

Yes. One prior partner is hard enough to handle. The more partners the harder it is. Most guys have some limit as to how many partners a guy will accept in a future spouse. Could be 3 or 9 or 20 or ? Each guy has a different tolerance. Why? It makes the guy less “special.” After 50 guys, nothing I do or say or have will be the best. Oxytocin - which creates a bond that is very powerful. But it gets less powerful the more guys that have gone before. You want your spouse to bond with you. Here a virgin us best. The happiest marriages (peer reviewed study) were when women married their “first.” The study also found that more than half of men would not consider marrying a woman with more than 10 partners. After 50 partners less than 1 in 5 men would consider marriage. Actions have consequences.

Don76 wrote:The study also found that more than half of men would not consider marrying a woman with more than 10 partners. After 50 partners less than 1 in 5 men would consider marriage. Actions have consequences.

Yeah, in this case it saves promiscuous women from indentured servitude I guess.

They aren’t considered undesirable wrote:

OP, the answer to your question is promiscuous women aren't considered undesirable by real, normal men. Real, normal men are comfortable and secure with women’s sexuality.

The real question is what kind of pervert considers a women who is a virgin desirable? Sex with inexperienced women is terrible—any man over the age of ~23 knows this or at least should know this by that age.

Thus, it can be definitely said that if you’re a dude over 23 and still claim to prefer a virgin over a women with experience you are either 1) a repressed homosexual and can’t tell the difference because you’d rather be banging a dude anyway 2) a pedophile 3) a virgin yourself. These are the only possibilities. Everyone agrees.

^Post of the thread.

Promiscuous women are not considered undesirable by me.

Sounds like a promiscuous lady trying to hide her shame.

Except when choosing a wife.

Don76 wrote:

The happiest marriages (peer reviewed study) were when women married their “first.” The study also found that more than half of men would not consider marrying a woman with more than 10 partners.

Would love to see these alleged studies (and not just one biased one.) From my experience with different circles of female friends, the VAST majority of women were unhappy staying with their 'first.' The happiest women/most stable relationships? The ones who waited a little longer, learned what they wanted in a partner, learned who they were as a person.

But I seriously only know of two women who stayed with their 'first' who seem happy.

Enjoy your freedom. But understand that you are limiting the pool of potential husbands. Most men may date a promiscuous woman, but many would not consider marrying her.

Actions have consequences.

HeyKitty Girl wrote:

Would love to see these alleged studies (and not just one biased one.) From my experience with different circles of female friends, the VAST majority of women were unhappy staying with their 'first.' The happiest women/most stable relationships? The ones who waited a little longer, learned what they wanted in a partner, learned who they were as a person.

But I seriously only know of two women who stayed with their 'first' who seem happy.

This was in the Atlantic the other day: