Weirdo sayings from coaches

I know it wasn't stated by a coach but the:

"But naked last"

quote by Montgomery (I think) is a classic.

"You sick? Been jerkin off with the windows open again?" among other classics.

back some years as a freshman i just finished watching the team workout standing next to my coach (i had a slight injury.)

they finish the last interval, he says, "all right" and starts packing up. so, i start in with a story, "I remember two years ago at the brown invitational..."

and coach turns to me and goes, "they don't pay me enough to listen to your stories."

and he walked out without looking back.

"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run." (Jumbo Elliott)

"If a war breaks out and a nuclear bomb is dropped in town, brace yourself, wait for the smoke to clear, then GET YOUR ASS TO PRACTICE !" (Harry Groves)

"Butt nekid last" was used by Jon Drummond in Atlanta, when arguing against Carl Lewis running on the 4x1.

As in, "Carl got butt nekid last at the trials."

An instant classic.

"Back in my day a playstation was a pair of pants with the pockets cut out!"

"Don't worry about the pain just bring home the Baby"-Bill Parcels?

Gentleman if you wanna make to to NCAA's

Gentleman This workout is going to be short and quick

Two 700's he was weird.

As one who has lived in the South, I have to tell you that it's spelled

"nekkid."

heebie jeebie snuck up a sneebie. it makes so much sense, the meaning of life can be found in that phrase.

Doug Brown (Tennessee Coach at the time to Chris Brown, Tennessee CC runner, right before a Cross race) "Hey Brownie, watch out for that slippery grass!"

George Watts a few years later (Hey Slickie, you dumb mother f@##@# Son of a B@#@# who the hell ordered cakes and shakes the night before the SEC CHAMPIONSHIPS for the team dinner!"

Groves: "What the hell do you have that douche bag on your leg?"

Athlete: "I have a stress fracture"

Groves: "I'll tell you how to get rid of a stress fracture. Run through a sea of tits and fall over."

"Watching the women's 10k is like watching brown, dead grass grow."

"That guy's not fast enough to steal a boombox."

"You got beat by runners from schools that don't even have track teams."

"There are two rules on this team. If I walk into a bar and see you, you leave. If you walk into a bar and see me, you leave."

My coach in Uni had a couple of gems, but this was one of his favourites:

"There is no 'try'. Only 'do'."

Martin

My college coach to me just before the league championship 5,000 race - "Stay with the pack until 2 miles and then take off, just like we've talked about." This was the first I had heard of this plan.

"Fourth place don't get the girl." Again, my college coach, this time in CC to the men's team before All-Ohio. First of all, we weren't good enough to even compete for the top 4 so we didn't know what he was talking about there, and second of all, do any of the places get the girl?

My HS coach Mr. Lange at jesuit "It's out there"

also "If it's been done before it can be done again"

and "that kids afraid of winning!"

finally my all time favorite "stop playing grab ass Bohaty and get running!"

I don't care if it's raining like a cow pissin' on a flat rock.

Is that a baton in your pants or are you happy to be at practice?

colder than a gold-digger's whatchamajigger or colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra

Al Cantello:

"You ran slow I could have accurately timed you with a sun dial."

(Standing on the inside rail during a 5,000 and motioning as if turning pages of a calendar as his runner comes by) "April, May, June . . ."

"You have to want it so bad that you're willing to step over your dead mother."

"You are a has-been that never was."

"So you want to run a road race? What, to feel really good when you beat up on some doctors, lawyers and CPA's?"

"Do you want to run or would you rather go to the football game and have a big, soft pretzel with your mommy?"

"I want you so thin that I can count your ribs from your shoulders to your stomach, like a P.O.W., understand?"