ESPN Story About Madison Holleran

Facebook should be banned.

wake up dad wrote:

a very sad sorry yes

But if your child had told you that they had thoughts of killing themselves would you drive them back to school and drop them off at the place you know was making them unhappy?

Wake up dad

That's unfair. For how ill she must have been, she kept things together very well. She was out shopping and instagramming before her death, not suffering the typical symptoms of melancholia. Definitely not the usual course of severe depression, and hard to place blame when so many kids have adjustment issues their first year of college and ultimately end up fine.

jezzy runner wrote:

Heartbreaking Story

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/12833146/instagram-account-university-pennsylvania-runner-showed-only-part-story

A few thoughts.

1 ) A wonderful job by the journalist.

2) She was loved by so many. It's just so sad. Everyone knew she was unhappy and tried to help. I mean even the other coach that bumped into her just minutes before she dide. You think that might change her mind but it was made up.

3) Steve Dolan - I always thought he was a great guy and that came across in the piece. So many other coaches would not react so well if a star athlete was going to quite the team (well maybe they'd fake it if the mom was there) but the contrast of his actions and those featured in the QOD today are striking.

4) Even before I read thsi piece, when I think back about my 10 years of college coaching, i think the main regret i have is why didn't i ask kids more often how they truly were. Sure they would lie to me and say fine but man I hated college my freshman year. Hated it. It was so hard for me.

THe vast majority of the contact I've had with ex runners of mine is trying to help people who struggled a lot after I left. I guess I did spend a lot of time when I was there but so much of it was track focused.

I'd always have one on one meetings with the entrie team at twice a year and would ask the freshmen in particular how they were doing but when I think back about the kids who struggled, I just wonder why I didn't do more. But the you read this and you realize everyone is trying, parents, friends, counselors, etc. Only so much can be done.

We were so focused on track. Who the **** cares about winning Heps? Lfe, morality, etc. is key.

wake up dad wrote:

a very sad sorry yes

But if your child had told you that they had thoughts of killing themselves would you drive them back to school and drop them off at the place you know was making them unhappy?

Wake up dad

Her father seems like a wonderful man. The therapist wasn't overly worried about it - he's going to rely on that.

I have a family friend with a nephew who is a teenager. His father just died tragically. The kid isn't going to school - he's just moping around and they are worried to death about him because of that. I can very much see how people think staying involved is a good thing. Just work through it. Hindsight is always 20-20.

I may delete your post in the morning as I think it's incredibly insensitive and trying to put logic behind an illogical act.

Rojo, as a board leader you should type better than I. People who do not know this story have no idea, how painful this must have been,this was a cannot miss kid and not in Track but in life.

If you do not think this could happen to someone you know, guess again.

Trialswatcher wrote:

Rojo, as a board leader you should type better than I. People who do not know this story have no idea, how painful this must have been,this was a cannot miss kid and not in Track but in life.

If you do not think this could happen to someone you know, guess again.

In his defense, it's hard to type correctly with tears in your eyes.

All joking aside, suicide in young people is always a tragedy. Sad story but a reminder that sometimes when people appear to be happy, they aren't.

This is just an insensitive kid (most likely). No need to pile on. That was not my intention nor should be yours. Turn the other cheek so to speak is best. This is best with people at such a limited state of understanding, empathy, and compassion.

Rojo, please leave his post up as a reminder of how NONE OF US should act toward one another. May Madison's dad, her family, friends, and those at UPenn who knew her only briefly find peace in their hearts and minds in the years to come.

This is a reminder of a lot of things...one of which is coaching, esp. year-round provides it's own set of challenges. When a coach and teammates sees young people every day he or she must be overly sensitive and aware of true emotional states and fluctuations thereof.

There's great continuing education out there. My hope is USTFCCCA and the NCAA picks up on this and pushes for more advanced training for college coaches. Learning is a lifelong process and even graduate school didn't prepare many of us for prevention and coping with the after effects of an issue like suicide.

As a parent, teacher (graduate school), and occasional coach, I want to thank Madison's parents for being willing to share her story. It takes enormous courage to do what they have done -- to speak about decisions you wish you could change, etc. Sadly, there will always be people who will second guess or criticize. But, illnesses like depression, addiction, etc - can deal up on people. Even beautiful, talented people with everything to live for, and even people with loving families . (note - not saying there was addiction here). By shining a light on Madison's story, her family may litey save the life of another. Love to them.

I have been involved in coaching for over 30 years. Although I have never had to deal with a suicide at our school, I know it is only a matter of time now. The amount of suicide in communities like Penn seem to be skyrocketing. The WSJ recently reported that at MIT in the past year there were 7 suicides. For the first time in my career I have a number of kids who struggle to get to practice due to anxiety and depression which I believe is related to perfectionism. If you work in a community where status and prestige are valued highly, I think there will be trouble with despair.

Sorry, early morning typing without glasses. Meant to saw illnesses like depression can sneak up on people. Apologies for the double post. (Wish the message board had an edit function!)

This is a sad and tragic story. Period. No finger pointing to be done. To me, the only question is "how can we learn from this sad story in order to help others?"

I'm glad (in a sense) that ESPN wrote this story. When Madison originally died, I think the biggest headlines her story got were here on Letsrun and Trackandfieldnews.com and just keeping it within the T&F community. With ESPN, it has now been shared on a much wider scale. I've seen a number of people link and share it on facebook, exposing it to a bigger audience. I just hope this story continues to grow and more discussion is started. I hope that Madison's story will help someone else out there.

But I'm saddened in not only the loss of life, but also why did it take so long for this kind of story to be shared in this way? Is it because she was a pretty, smart, and athletic girl, who went to an Ivy League school and attempted Division 1 athletics? As someone else in this forum shared, this is not just unique to Penn. Personally, after I finished my NCAA eligibility, a former teammate of mine committed suicide via drowning, but nothing on even this kind of a scale was mentioned in terms of media outlet. The teammate was a young (early 20s) black male who had competed for a state school and lived in more of a suburban setting. Is this life worth any less than Madison's? No, it isn't. I guess I'm feeling this sadness/anger because I want more to be done to help people who feel that killing themselves is the only answer, and I want these people who have committed suicide have their lives mean something, even if they may never know about it since they are not physically here to witness it.

Let's have their lives mean something by doing something to prevent this option from ever being considered to another human being.

(wipes tears away)

What a fantastic article summarizing a tragic event.

The other articles I read on Madison always bothered me because many authors repeatedly commented on how beautiful she was. As if her death was more tragic because she was beautiful and articles came off saying it was such a shock because she was pretty as if beig pretty automatically means you'll have a happy life. Depression doesn't work like that. And any suicide is tragic regardless of what the person looks like. And this ESPN article really highlights that.

Props to the author for the in depth story. Definitely make me cry. I commend her parents and friends for being so forthcoming and open about it.

First of all, I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your former teammate.

To address your question about why this incident in particular has garnered so much attention, some of it certainly does have to do with the fact that Madison was a beautiful, white Ivy League athlete. However, I think much of the differential media coverage of suicide victims in general depends on the willingness of each victim's family to reach out to the media. The Hollerans have been relatively vocal in a quite valiant effort to try to spread awareness of mental health-related issues in the wake of their daughter's death. It is likely that, in their devastation, your friend's family preferred to avoid media coverage his death (completely understandable, of course).

I have also lost a close friend to suicide and I wholeheartedly agree with your statement that suicide prevention efforts are of the utmost importance.

A good opportunity to remember Roswell Friend as well, who was another tragic loss from the running community.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/explore/baltimorecounty/news/ph-tt-roswell-0824-20110822-story.html

Mental health needs to be checked on a routine basis just as any physical health issue. I don't blame the school, track, the parents or her. Would you blame them if she had cancer? One of the most frustrating things about mental illness is thinking it's your decision.

I was shocked to read this thread and started to cry. My daughters are good friends with Madison and her family. This is all very rough but I hope to shed some light on this and ask that no troll on here trash me for sharing or my emotionally charged grammar. I will not use my name.

We look for simple answers and explanations always. The reality is that extraordinary events and perfect storms are the result of many factors in a harmonic wave convergence. Madison had such a convergence of pressure.

-Bergen County NJ and Northern Highlands is one of the highest pressure areas in the world to be a HS Student. NJ can be a very hard place for a kid.

-Shortly after Madison killed herself, her classmate and friend, the greatest male HS athlete and all stater I have ever seen, Mike Menakis, killed himself in a similar way. Please remember him in your prayers.

-A few years ago, NJ had a top US 800 HS kid step in front of a train. No one knew why.

-There is a long list of uber achievers in NJ doing the same thing before Madison, and there will be a long list after if we don’t start backing off and start helping kids grow up at a steady pace.

-If you knew Madison and watched her you would realize that you were looking at someone with more gifts than any kid you had ever seen. This is a red flag in that no one is given this many gifts. Anyone would have a hard time living up to their potential in this situation. Most people run away from their gifts in fear when they have just one gift, Madison uber achieved in everything she had a gift for. She had one speed in life. All out.

-The article does not really go into the fact that she was a NJ GOAT soccer player. An all American in soccer too. I saw her do a sideways bicycle kick from 30 yards out on the sideline and put it in the upper left corner to win the state sectional on their way to the undefeated season and national top ten ranking. Thousands of people in the stands had never seen anything like it and there was disbelief and complete silence.

-Highlands has a controversial soccer coach who is known to be brutal and high pressure. Madison went through four years of this difficult environment and was the top player on the top team. No breaks, no down time. When the season was over, she went right to indoor track expectations

-I know a number of people who really hated Penn for various reasons. In my view, it is no place for any kid. Bright athletes I know who went to Penn felt they were always looked down upon, unlike a Dartmouth or Yale which appear to celebrate how much harder ivy athletes work than a regular student.

-She was gorgeous. The articles all mention that and, that alone, creates high pressure for any girl that age.

-She was popular, nice, fun. The articles all mention that and, that alone, creates high pressure for any girl that age.

-She was smart. The articles all mention that and, that alone, creates high pressure for any girl that age.

-She was a first year college student away from home in an ivy and as an all American recruited athlete in two sports. Tough pressure for any girl in just one sport.

-She was a hugely talented middle distance runner with a true killer instinct. Face it, great runners have a tremendous amount of inner turmoil. The message boards here confirm that.

Madison reminds me of John Coffey of the Green Mile. Miracle gifts beyond anyone and an unbearable sense of responsibility to show that she did not take them for granted by developing them all the way and going to the ends of the earth towards her destiny. Madison was just a kid though. When you have that intensity, responsibility, and gifts, it is hard to know how to manage them at 18 and 19. None of us reading this will ever know. We are just not in her category.

Tried to do my best here in sharing the social facts and context. I am so sad. She is one of many in NJ suffering this fate. Lets stop this.

Holy smokes, thank you for posting this.

My note to rojo was a poor attempt at some humor as I am just about the worst typist on any message board, my apologies.

I had heard, now I do not know that this is true , that Penn has had multiple suicides , and that they actually do not or did not even have full disclosure on how bad it is/was?

Is any of that true? Again, it was something that was said to me about 18 months ago?

Trialswatcher wrote:

Rojo, as a board leader you should type better than I. .

If you're going to call out others on their writing skills, at least have the decency to know that it should be "type better than me" not "type better than I"