Say you were only in a relationship for a brief time before one of you had to move away or something like that. Then you stayed in touch and somehow managed to end up together. Is it possible?
Say you were only in a relationship for a brief time before one of you had to move away or something like that. Then you stayed in touch and somehow managed to end up together. Is it possible?
Yes
But only if you are okay with them being with others in the interim, possibly for years or forever
Unrequited love is not a good choice
Unrequited love is awful. It's always best to move on rather than stay attached to old flames. In fact, we must move on in order to grow. Trust me, I know.
Met in HS. Periods of dating disaster at 16, 18 and 20 (hey, passionate people are not always on the same page at the same time). Away from each other for ~10 years. Pine, pine, pine -- and more or less radio silence...
Then: a letter (you young'uns wouldn't know about that).
Now planning our 20th wedding anniversary, enlisting the help of our amazing offspring. And,yeah, I ain't got NOTHIN' for the post-nup shutoff thread. Just sayin'.
So: possible? Sure. Anything's possible.
vivalarepublica wrote:
Unrequited love is awful. It's always best to move on rather than stay attached to old flames. In fact, we must move on in order to grow. Trust me, I know.
To grow what?
kkxk wrote:
vivalarepublica wrote:Unrequited love is awful. It's always best to move on rather than stay attached to old flames. In fact, we must move on in order to grow. Trust me, I know.
To grow what?
To grow as a person and continuing to challenge yourself, rather than stay attached to the past. It's not healthy to try to revive something that no longer has any steam left.
In his above post, ivygradgrad certainly illustrates that it's possible, but I'd agree with those who say it's improbable (or even a bad idea to pursue).
A former girlfriend and I dated for two years in high school but broke up the summer before I went to college. We stayed in touch off and on for several years and hooked up a few times before we married other people, then completely lost track or each other.
Twenty years and three divorces later (one for me, two for her) we reconnected on Facebook and have been keeping in touch regularly although we live in different states. But the point of my drawn out anecdote is that reuniting would never work. People simply change too much. I generally enjoy talking to her and we still feel that "high school spark" but I know I could never spend any real time with her because she has evolved into a self-absorbed, materialistic socialite. Likewise, she would likely hang herself if she had to spend any real time with me -- a simple creature of habit and overall boring Midwesterner.
Find someone new...
vivalarepublica wrote:
To grow as a person and continuing to challenge yourself, rather than stay attached to the past. It's not healthy to try to revive something that no longer has any steam left.
You didn't answer my question. What are you growing? What does growing as a person mean? What does challenging yourself have to do with staying in touch with an old flame?
kkxk wrote:
vivalarepublica wrote:To grow as a person and continuing to challenge yourself, rather than stay attached to the past. It's not healthy to try to revive something that no longer has any steam left.
You didn't answer my question. What are you growing? What does growing as a person mean? What does challenging yourself have to do with staying in touch with an old flame?
No need to sidetrack the thread. Everyone knows what he means.
Thanks for the replies. I would agree with all of you 100% if it wasn't for the fact I'm currently seeing a girl I feel I could marry. She's moving over 1000 miles away in a few months, and we barely know each other right now. I also dated a girl for a year who was a completely different person at the end of the relationship than she was at the start, so I can't really commit to a person unless I've dated them 9 months or so. I've at least gone out with about 30 different girls in the last few years and have not felt this way about any of them, so it means a lot to me to find a girl I actually really like and who likes me back. The fact she's leaving soon really has me down actually.
Thanks for the replies.
I don't know all the details, but one of LRC's posters reunited with her high school & college sweetheart 40 years after their first date and are now married.
dying inside wrote:
No need to sidetrack the thread. Everyone knows what he means.
Thanks for the replies. I would agree with all of you 100% if it wasn't for the fact I'm currently seeing a girl I feel I could marry. She's moving over 1000 miles away in a few months, and we barely know each other right now. I also dated a girl for a year who was a completely different person at the end of the relationship than she was at the start, so I can't really commit to a person unless I've dated them 9 months or so. I've at least gone out with about 30 different girls in the last few years and have not felt this way about any of them, so it means a lot to me to find a girl I actually really like and who likes me back. The fact she's leaving soon really has me down actually.
Thanks for the replies.
That's not sidetracking the thread. You asked for experiences with old flames and I'm asking the poster to clarify. If I knew what he meant, then I wouldn't be asking what he meant. You don't know what he means because he hasn't explained it or what he says doesn't make immediate sense (what does challenging yourself have to do with old flames???).
I started seeing my HS girlfriend after 20 yrs immediately following my divorce. I moved in with her shortly after for about 2 yrs. The sex was fantastic and she was really good to me, but I absolutely hated her two kids. Deal breaker