Ex wants to meet up before he leaves the area, I'm afraid this could end up being pretty awkward

How does going to a nice restaurant make it awkward?

If he's a gun owner, dont go.

It makes me feel that it's a little over the top... if I've agreed to meet with him, okay, but I'd ideally prefer it to be pretty casual and quick (but he doesn't seem to feel the same way). Also, talking in person for the first time since we broke up...

Whatever happens, at least give us a recap of how it goes.

These threads often die without a follow up.

You're fu/cking kidding me, right? I don't understand how the majority of commenters here have the emotional intelligence of toddlers. He's moving across the country, hopefully with the goal of making positive changes in his life. He's not looking for goodbye sex unless you're gonna serve it up. Go to dinner with him, encourage him to get back on track, and then hug him goodbye. A month from now, send him an email wishing him happy holidays and expressing your hope that he's found some luck with his move home. Are you completely incapable of being a friend? Jesus you people are such losers.

Will do with the follow up.

I just do see a disconnect in expectations.. me wanting casual no pressure lunch, him wanting nice dinner...

jc123 wrote:

Will do with the follow up.

I just do see a disconnect in expectations.. me wanting casual no pressure lunch, him wanting nice dinner...

You still haven't really explained how going to a nice restaurant creates awkwardness or pressure. Pressure to do what exactly?? What does casual even mean to you? A higher price doesn't mean that it is going to take longer to eat.

This is not a healthy situation. He obviously wants to reconnect and you are only encouraging that. If you do not reciprocate, it could turn very ugly.

The girl asking about the gun was not kidding. Bring a friend, if you must go.

No pressure of any expectations... awkwardness in that I feel it's going to be awkward meeting up anyway, and making it a more lavish affair seems to add to that...

You're done. It sounds like he isn't. You don't do him any favors by playing along. Be firm and direct with him. "Yes, I'll have dinner but we broke up and I've moved on and nothing is going to change that."

If you didn't want to go, why did you agree to it? Because you felt bad? You should have just said no. Girls are such p'u's's'y cowards, you're cowardice will end up making things more complicated and hurtful in the long run. Just say no next time, guys can take it.

Because at the time I empathized with the situation and because I was the person he knew best out here...

lxcklkf wrote:

If you didn't want to go, why did you agree to it? Because you felt bad? You should have just said no. Girls are such p'u's's'y cowards, you're cowardice will end up making things more complicated and hurtful in the long run. Just say no next time, guys can take it.

This is your answer. Girls create so many more severe problems than are necessary by trying to soften the fücking blow. All you're doing is wasting his time, your time, and everyone's energy. You are right to think it is going to be awkward. You deserve it, too. Frankly I hope he either brings a 100$ ring he bought with the last of his money and pops the question in front of an entire restaurant filled with people, or else breaks down crying in front of same. Preferably both. Just to give you what you deserve to deal with for being too weak to simply say no to something you weren't interested in.

Note to the ladies and, I suppose, the fellows also: clarity is an admirable trait. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is to give them a reason to say "screw that bitch" and move on, even if bitterly.

All you're doing with this "sure I'll go to dinner with you" crap is making certain the poor schmuck moves across the country thinking about the great relationship he just missed out on salvaging. He'll probably end up hanging himself before christmas, and you'll have been the catalyst for it. Congratulations.

You are just rubbing salt in the wound and dragging it out for him

Text him that the relationship is over and done, and that there is no final goodbye dinner.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

A lot of times its not like females aim to lead people on or drag out a situation when they do stuff like this, its actually rooted in good intentions --- they don't want to be "mean" . But it would be behoove a lot of young women to grow a pair, and learn to say NO!, set strict boundaries. Even though it may be hard, it benefits everybody in the long run.

jkjhkjhkxf wrote:

A lot of times its not like females aim to lead people on or drag out a situation when they do stuff like this, its actually rooted in good intentions --- they don't want to be "mean" . But it would be behoove a lot of young women to grow a pair, and learn to say NO!, set strict boundaries. Even though it may be hard, it benefits everybody in the long run.

You really want us to "grow a pair"? Why don't you try growing a brain.

Look the thing is that when he initially asked, he put it in a way that made me empathize and agree since I thought "poor guy, plus moving across the country.." upon reflecting about why we broke up etc. I realized this could be awkward.

jc123 wrote:

Look the thing is that when he initially asked, he put it in a way that made me empathize and agree since I thought "poor guy, plus moving across the country.." upon reflecting about why we broke up etc. I realized this could be awkward.

I don't want to make assumptions- are you a female or gay? People are writing as if you are female but I don't think you said.