Dennis Mitchell can never be topped as he was the original but this is pretty good:
Specifically, the test appeared to show he had either been using the blood-boosting drug EPO in the weeks before the British race, or had had a transfusion to achieve the same effect. There was, however, no "positive".
Tiernan-Locke denies any wrongdoing, saying his blood values were skewed that morning because he was recovering from a bottle of wine, half a dozen double gins and a few vodkas for the road: a night on the tiles with his girlfriend.
He says he felt so ill the following day he did not eat or drink, for fear of vomiting, which left him dehydrated when he was randomly tested the following morning.
Dr Kingsley Hampton, a consultant haematologist, told a tribunal this summer that a binge-drinking session could result in "wildly abnormal" readings. UK Anti-Doping put up two of the UCI's biological passport experts to say otherwise.
Youngsters who don't know Mitchell. Here is his story. He was a sprinter who said he tested positive as he had "five bottles of beer and sex with his wife at least four times." “It was her birthday, the lady deserved a treat.”
USATF accepted Dennis’ explanation and cleared him to compete.
More on MItchell here: