I can't stand it, personally. I really don't care what your landscaper did with your trees, or how little johnny won the t-ball championship. I listen out of politeness and respect, but all the while my brain is focused on other things that interest me.
I used to wear a button I made to parties during the early '80's that said, "Small Talk Stinks"
weary banter wrote:
I can't stand it, personally. I really don't care what your landscaper did with your trees, or how little johnny won the t-ball championship. I listen out of politeness and respect, but all the while my brain is focused on other things that interest me.
It takes two to tango. Just ask them about their sex life and have a laugh when they slide away.
I hate all small talk, no matter where it is. And I hate parties BECAUSE of the fact that you always have to make small talk. It just makes my skin crawl.
I feel the same way! Or when my parents call and ask me how the weather is every time. ugh.
just curious. what are things you would prefer to talk about at parties? Perhaps you can slide that into conversation.
Learn the art of conversation and stop yer b!tchin.
Look most people will stay in that realm because it's easy. If you hate it you need to learn how to move the discussion on to something interesting beyond the weather.
Peace Out wrote:
I hate all small talk, no matter where it is. And I hate parties BECAUSE of the fact that you always have to make small talk. It just makes my skin crawl.
You are either going to the wrong parties or incredibly unsociable.
Josh Hamilton's Addiction wrote:
[quote]Peace Out wrote:
You are either going to the wrong parties or incredibly unsociable.
Oh I'm very introverted/anti-social, no question. I think most people are quite boring, unless they like talking about running.
Sounds like you need to drink more.
Peace Out wrote:
Oh I'm very introverted/anti-social, no question. I think most people are quite boring, unless they like talking about running.
If running is the only discussion topic that isn't boring to you, you are the boring one.
Don't go to parties.
weary banter wrote:
I can't stand it, personally. I really don't care what your landscaper did with your trees, or how little johnny won the t-ball championship. I listen out of politeness and respect, but all the while my brain is focused on other things that interest me.
Not that I am normally a big party person, but I do find people interesting and if approached right way they have a good sense of humor.
Going into a party with your attitude will pretty much gaurantee you won't have fun.
bearer of bad news wrote:
If running is the only discussion topic that isn't boring to you, you are the boring one.
Yeah, normally I'd agree with you except that in spite of being extremely introverted (pretty much since child-birth), I have a decent sense of humour, and therefore have always been very popular.
I often speak to audiences of 300+ people and am completely comfortable, whereas speaking to any of those people one-on-one afterwards is something I dread. That's OK, I'm at one with my neurosis.
GetReal wrote:
Learn the art of conversation and stop yer b!tchin.
Look most people will stay in that realm because it's easy. If you hate it you need to learn how to move the discussion on to something interesting beyond the weather.
People generally aren't interested in discussing things that most interest me at large gatherings- science, books/literature, art, music. They'd rather partake in idle chit chat about superficial topics like the weather, TV shows, so-and-so's house & kids, etc.
Generally, I am outgoing and enjoy people. I am not shy and I don't have trouble making conversation. But, inevitably the topic changes to things of little substance especially in large groups. It bores me and leads me to drink more than I should. I'm paying for it today.
"You are either going to the wrong parties or incredibly unsociable."
Agree..if you don't have the ability to take small talk to the next level then that's your fault. You can get talking about any subject if you learn how to subtly manipulate conversations. Step your game up.
Yeah, I don't love it, but realize it has to be done, and I suck it up. I actually know a decent bit about a lot of different topics that are in no way related(anything from professional sports to Middle East politics) because I have accumulated a lot of random knowledge over the years. I also realize people love talking about themselves. What I do, is I smile, nod, listen super intently, and ask questions, and act like I am super interested. People really seem to like that.
Drinking is key to keeping yourself engaged at large social events. Music & dancing makes the time go by faster, as well. That and finding at least one other person who shares your pain and had a good sense of humor.
GetReal wrote:
Learn the art of conversation and stop yer b!tchin.
Look most people will stay in that realm because it's easy. If you hate it you need to learn how to move the discussion on to something interesting beyond the weather.
this is essentially good advice.
I loathe small talk and generally avoid them at 90% cost. The trick is to steer the convo to something interesting. it's an art not a science tho.
Larry king wrote a good book on how to talk with anyone - it did teach me a few worthwhile things.
weary banter wrote:
GetReal wrote:Learn the art of conversation and stop yer b!tchin.
Look most people will stay in that realm because it's easy. If you hate it you need to learn how to move the discussion on to something interesting beyond the weather.
People generally aren't interested in discussing things that most interest me at large gatherings- science, books/literature, art, music. They'd rather partake in idle chit chat about superficial topics like the weather, TV shows, so-and-so's house & kids, etc.
Generally, I am outgoing and enjoy people. I am not shy and I don't have trouble making conversation. But, inevitably the topic changes to things of little substance especially in large groups. It bores me and leads me to drink more than I should. I'm paying for it today.
It must be tough being better than all those boring people and having to discuss their little pedestrian issues with them. Being gifted and sophisticated is sometimes a curse that the masses just don't understand.
Josh Hamilton's Addiction wrote:
Peace Out wrote:I hate all small talk, no matter where it is. And I hate parties BECAUSE of the fact that you always have to make small talk. It just makes my skin crawl.
You are either going to the wrong parties or incredibly unsociable.
Wait until your social circle is cranking out kids and 90% of the small talk is focused on kids. I love my kids and my friends kids, but sometimes I want to talk about something other than Tommy's club soccer team or Suzy's latest ballet performance.