When can I get married?

When you think you are ready and then wait 6 more months.

luv2run wrote:

When you think you are ready and then wait 6 more months.

^ this and I can't imagine doing it without living together for a little while.

Name 5 things about her that you don't like/don't agree with. Once you've identified those, how do you (personally, not collaboratively) deal with them?

If you can't answer those questions, don't start thinking about marriage. Literally. People get all tied up in remembering how they wanted to marry so and so when everything was great and they thought the person was perfect, then if it goes to shit, that only causes you to hold on for way too long.

Jingle bells wrote:

I can't imagine doing it without living together for a little while.

Would never live together b/c

- disrespectful to her

- would piss off my family (and hers)

- statistically speaking, living together before marriage correlates with a much higher divorce rate

Could only imagine living together if we're already engaged and are both moving a long ways, like to a different state, and even then it's a tough sell

Boarder from Sante Fe wrote:

Jingle bells wrote:

I can't imagine doing it without living together for a little while.

Would never live together b/c

- disrespectful to her

- would piss off my family (and hers)

- statistically speaking, living together before marriage correlates with a much higher divorce rate

Could only imagine living together if we're already engaged and are both moving a long ways, like to a different state, and even then it's a tough sell

What are you, 18 years old? The items on your list are not considerations for an adult.

Wait until you are older. I forbid you to think about marriage until you are at least 30-yrs-old.

Boarder from Sante Fe wrote:

she's perfect.

Big red flag.

Boarder from Sante Fe wrote:When can I get married?

-Boarder from Sante Fe

As soon as you can con some innocent girl into taking your hand in marriage. Be sure not to show your true colors- i.e., speaking in a deragatory manner about women in front of her, exposing her to your perverse fetishes, leaving your festering crap around for her to clean up and being a total jacka$$ grump- until after you're married for at least a year. Then you can pull out all the stops out and be a total dick.

kapish?

honestly 123 wrote:

Boarder from Sante Fe wrote:

she's perfect.

Big red flag.

Good point.

fundamentality wrote:

Boarder from Sante Fe wrote:When can I get married?

-Boarder from Sante Fe

As soon as you can con some innocent girl into taking your hand in marriage. Be sure not to show your true colors- i.e., speaking in a deragatory manner about women in front of her, exposing her to your perverse fetishes, leaving your festering crap around for her to clean up and being a total jacka$$ grump- until after you're married for at least a year. Then you can pull out all the stops out and be a total dick.

kapish?

Do you need a hug?

As a man-hating humorless hairy feminist, I’m not overly concerned with a dude’s right to stick his dick into whatever he fancies; as history has shown, dudes will prevail, and the peen will find a way. Neither do I consider marriage — that primary unit of patriarchy — to be the holy grail of equality it’s cracked up to be. But if you’re going to incorporate a behavior (such as pronging or marrying) into the standard cultural repertoire, it must be sanctioned across the board, not just within the group that happens to conform more sanctimoniously to some arbitrary, imaginary “moral” construct imposed to further their own interests by a ruling class of oppressors and a$$holes.

Marry a guy and leave us the f- alone!

feminitity wrote:

As a man-hating humorless hairy feminist, I’m not overly concerned with a dude’s right to stick his dick into whatever he fancies; as history has shown, dudes will prevail, and the peen will find a way. Neither do I consider marriage — that primary unit of patriarchy — to be the holy grail of equality it’s cracked up to be. But if you’re going to incorporate a behavior (such as pronging or marrying) into the standard cultural repertoire, it must be sanctioned across the board, not just within the group that happens to conform more sanctimoniously to some arbitrary, imaginary “moral” construct imposed to further their own interests by a ruling class of oppressors and a$$holes.

Marry a guy and leave us the f- alone!

I love you.

On one hand I hate this macho diatribe, on the other hand it seems good if u can handle it

http://boldanddetermined.com/2012/01/21/pick-the-right-wife/

Dude did you really just say you would never live together unless you're engaged first? Man you are setting yourself up for failure big time. I was with my last gf for 3 years, and marriage was almost a guarantee for us in the future. Then we moved in together, and within like 8 months we had broken up. Hanging out with someone you love a few times a week is VERY DIFFERENT than being around them several hours a day, 7 days a week. And don't even think my story is uncommon. Moving in together changes everything.

Yeah man, living together isn't easy, and can even be the hardest part. Would never expect it to be easy. But a relationship is something u work on and if u love and are committed to someone it will work out.

What was the hardest part about living with her? Why did it not work out? Are you happier now than before?

One thing I imagine is imagining the girl u love just taking a fat dump. Just a huge dirty squirter that stains the bowl. You have to accept that. If ur not committed to loving the person how can u be committed to cohabiting?

Living together is a modern convention with no basis that statistically demonstrates its ineffectiveness.

please don't marry this girl within the next 2 or 3 years. everything about your post screams virgin noob. maybe she is perfect, but you sound infatuated.

i hope it works out for you. also i see people reference this statistics that say moving in before marrying reduces chance of marital success. could you share them? its always the same types that highlight this fact, no offense.

OP you sound very eager to settle down, why is this? What is the rush to get married. I would wait a long time, by a long time at least year before you think about getting married. Heck I wouldn't even get married in this day in age.

OP- Don't ask for life advice from these people. If you know this is the girl you want to marry, date for at least a year and then go for it. When you know, you know. There is no reason to wait 8 years. It is correct that there is a greater divorce rate for couples who live together before marriage. This is ironic because people who do this actually think they are helping their future marriage. Read the book The Defining Decade and you'll realize how much evidence there is that delaying marriage is a bad idea.

you all just keep saying there is this collection of evidence that seems to contradict logic.show some evidence.

SDgdra wrote:

OP- Don't ask for life advice from these people. If you know this is the girl you want to marry, date for at least a year and then go for it. When you know, you know. There is no reason to wait 8 years. It is correct that there is a greater divorce rate for couples who live together before marriage. This is ironic because people who do this actually think they are helping their future marriage. Read the book The Defining Decade and you'll realize how much evidence there is that delaying marriage is a bad idea.

honestly 123 wrote:

Boarder from Sante Fe wrote:

she's perfect.

Big red flag.

Absolutely. "She's perfect" really means "I don't know her well enough to have discovered her flaws, imperfections, and insecurities that every person on the planet has".