Crazy things that have happened to you while out on a run.

I worked at an apple orchard during the summer throughout high school. One day, after work, in late summer, on a very hot day, I drank nearly a gallon of apple cider before and after my bike ride home. After dinner, I caught a ride with my mother and her friend to the local community college. (They had night class) I was going to do a track workout. Not long after, the inevitable begins to happen. Bowels roiling and boiling, with at least 200 yards to the woods. I made a dash for it but was unsuccessful, and the explosion was unavoidable. Shorts and legs covered with the runniest foulest mess ever! The gym was locked, so no shower for me. I used paper towels as best I could. Rode home with the windows down. My mother and her friend never commented on the most foul odor. The ride seemed to take forever.

Is that the kind of story you wanted?

I was out for a run late at night and running in a red sweat top. It was midnight when a cop car coming on the road right at me puts one tire on the curb and puts his lights on. Startled, I stopped and 2 cops get out with tasers. I put my hands up and they ask my name. I told them, and they said they were looking for a man with a red top who had assaulted a woman. i look down, see my red top and explain I'm out for a run.

I continue on for 5 mins down the same street and another cop car turns its lights on and comes right at me. I'm very startled and put my hands up again, but made the mistake of walking toward the car after it stopped. Two women police, looking very nervous, jump out with their weapons. I got a little ticked and said, "I just got stopped up the street. Don't you police talk to each other?" They didn't appreciate that and yelled at me "Why are you running this time of night?" I answered, "Is it illegal to do so?"

After keeping me there for 5 mins, they let me go and I was generally scared running the rest of the way home.

I've got a lot of experiences with defecation emergencies but one of my favorite runs was a simple 7 miler during a summer downpour. It was one of those days where you're so wet that you stop jumping over the puddles. You're soaked and there's nothing that is going to change that so you just enjoy it.

Late in the route I run over a bridge and rain is coming heavy and water is just rolling downhill in sheets. I'm getting splashed across the legs by passing cars but it doesn't bother me and I like that they can see me not bothered by this weather while they are backed up in this awful traffic mess.

After coming off the end of the bridge I turn left onto an on ramp to the bridge. Just as I turn I see two guys in a small pick-up heading toward me. They see me and then they spot the large pool of standing water between us. The driver hits the gas and swerves to the right and sends a wall of water 10 feet into the air over my head. The force stops me in my tracks but it was awesome. The soaking was complete and we all enjoyed it.

I ran right past Steve Jobs and family outside the Apple store on the day of the iPad launch. He was taller than I expected.

Lots of strange incidents from my years of living in San Francisco and always running in the late evening. On most runs I'd go through a park or wooded area and had many run-ins with skunks (only got sprayed once), raccoons (mean fu\ckers), and even a coyote once in the Presidio. Wildlife is normal concern for trail runs but it catches you off guard in the city.

The crazier stuff would be things like seeing a guy in Chinatown getting chased by another guy in an apron wielding a meat cleaver. Yes, that really happened - I assumed some diner was running from his check, but who knows? Chinatown is always good for some bizarre cartoonish behavior.

On several occasions I passed blocks shut down for movie shoots. Once I didn't realize it was a movie set at first, I just saw a bunch of cop cars and ambulances and got really freaked out when I noticed dozens of bleeding people laying around screaming on the pavement. Turned out it was for some medical drama series, don't remember which one. It was on the same block as my gym so it was quite a shock until I noticed the camera crews.

The weirdest incident would have to be the time when the cops at a street closure wouldn't let me pass through to get home without frisking me (not sure if they thought I would hide guns in my split shorts or my t-shirt but I remember apologizing for being sweaty). Turns out Obama was having dinner with Russian President Medvedev at a private home only a block and a half away from my apartment. The neighborhood is called Russian Hill - go figure. I remember vividly from my childhood what a big deal it was when Reagan had summit meetings with Gorbachev, so I felt the presence of an odd historical significance that evening.

I was out running down a trail in 100 degree heat, humid, east coast heat, and I startled some freak who was out playing with an air gun, and he swiveled around and pointed it at me, the rude mofo.

3 weeks ago I was out for my Saturday morning long run on a road with a narrow shoulder all of about 3 feet wide next to traffic going 50 mph. A cop car appeared, traveling at me. It gets about 100 feet in front of me when I see a large buck to my left charging across a field towards the road. A collision is inevitable and I give a full arm point at the deer now nearly ready to run into road, and I'm wondering if the deer is going to be catapulted over my head. By now the cop is about 30-40 feet in front of me and she caught a glimpse of what I was pointing at. She jams on the brakes, and a moment latter the deer runs straight into the front of the car. By then I'd stopped running and was bracing myself for a fly ball, but fortunately the deer goes straight down skidding on the road, then leaps up and in confusion starts charging towards me. I waved my arms, and he veers off back towards where he came from. The cop and her partner were fine and there wasn't too much damage. Gave me a good adrenal booste, and those next few miles were easy.

formidable doer of the nasty wrote:

Chinatown is always good for some bizarre cartoonish behavior.

Amen to that. Plus it's easy to step in something "cartoonish" when you run there.

Was running a shakeout with my teammate at about 10pm. We decide to run through the huge mall parking lot. It closed at 8pm that day. Well some truck pulled up beside us and the passenger yelled "My girlfriend says she'll suck your dick if you catch up!" Well I was mad that he yelled, but didnt realize what he said immediately. I yelled back "SHUT YOUR F@T ASS UP!" and by then they were ahead. Well he opened his door and fell out and rolled on the ground. I stopped. Then he started walking towards me and said "WTF did you say?!" and I said SHUT THE FvCK UP FASTASS!" and i started walking towards him. I was prepared to fight. Then he reaches in his back waistband and pulls out a pistol and aims it right at my head from like 5 feet away. I just stand there SHOCKED. I couldnt move. He said "Who's the bitch now?" and he turned and ran back to his truck and they drove away. I look to see where my teammate was and he was about a quarter mile down the road in the opposite direction.

That was the last time I yelled back.

I was running on a trail in the Adirondacks in Upstate NY. I came around a sharp corner and tripped over a black bear cub and basically trampled the poor thing. Didn't waste any time getting the hell out of there - never saw a momma bear but I sure wasn't gonna stop and look. Probably the only fight or flight moment I've ever truly experienced - the adrenaline rush was insane.

I was out for a run one night in central park when all of a sudden I was blind sided by 3 punks. On the ground, I was getting the crap kicked out of me for no reason, and then all of a sudden some guy smashes a wine bottle over one of the kids' heads knocking him out cold. The other 2 kids beat it in horror. I look up to see the guy holding another wine bottle in his hand. He hands it to me and says, here, go find a girl, get drunk, and forget this story. As his face came into the light, it was freaking Bill Murray! ...because no one's ever going to believe this story.

One time I was running at the NJ Palisades and had to pee. So I ran behind some bushes to this clearing near the cliffs where no one would see me, and just stopped dead in my tracks.

There was a guy in a dark suit pushing a car off the cliff, and there were clearly bloody smears and handprints on the trunk. The guy watched the car fall down and sink in the river below, then turned around and saw me. We locked eyes for what felt like an eternity, then he slowly walked up to me, patted me on the shoulder, smiled, and continuted past the bushes and out of the clearing.

I stood there for about 30 minutes, only accompanied by the warm urine running down my leg.

Two stories

1. On a run last fall I found a girl laying face down in the street along the curb. Thought I was approaching a dead body. As I approach I hear her crying and a car stops just ahead. I guy gets out telling me to call 911. Of course I don't have a phone. Then he goes on to tell me the girl has mental issues. Turns out it was his daughter who jumped out of the car while it was moving. I asked the girl if she's alright and she gets up arguring with her dad. They get in the car and leave. I finish my run.

2. One day at high school XC practice our coach dropped us off about 5 miles from school and we were to return. As my brother and I are well ahead on the run a deer starts running along side us. We stop...it stops. We run...it runs. We approach it and were actually able to pet the damn thing. Crazy. Our coach drives by to find out why we are stopped and scares it off. He didn't beleive us. I think my wife to this day thinks I may still be making this story up. Had to be there.

LDOPA wrote:

One time I was running at the NJ Palisades and had to pee. So I ran behind some bushes to this clearing near the cliffs where no one would see me, and just stopped dead in my tracks.

There was a guy in a dark suit pushing a car off the cliff, and there were clearly bloody smears and handprints on the trunk. The guy watched the car fall down and sink in the river below, then turned around and saw me. We locked eyes for what felt like an eternity, then he slowly walked up to me, patted me on the shoulder, smiled, and continuted past the bushes and out of the clearing.

I stood there for about 30 minutes, only accompanied by the warm urine running down my leg.

That's an awesome story, was the guy Bill Murray?

Dennis Reynolds wrote:

That's an awesome story, was the guy Bill Murray?

Now that you mention it, I think it was.

I was stalked by a fox who chased after me once during a run. The fox kept his distance from me but it really freaked me out.

pics or lies for story 2

oppositional defiant disorder wrote:

I was stalked by a fox who chased after me once during a run. The fox kept his distance from me but it really freaked me out.

p*ssy.