A Message from NBC About Its Olympics Coverage
Posted by Andy Borowitz
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Today NBC Sports issued the following message to viewers of its prime-time coverage of the 2012 Olympic Games in London:
"Dear NBC Viewers:
Last night, millions of you were thrilled to see the U.S.A.’s Missy Franklin win the gold medal in the hundred-metre backstroke race. That is, you would have been thrilled, except that just before the race we showed promos of Missy Franklin appearing on the Today show with the gold medal she won for the hundred-metre backstroke race.
If you’ve been watching NBC in prime time the past few nights, you’ve probably noticed how, night in, night out, we’ve been wrecking the Olympics for you. All we can say is, our bad. At NBC we’re just not used to broadcasting things that people want to watch.
But all that’s about to change.
Tonight, for those of you who like watching the Olympics without having every moment drained of its entertainment value, we are launching a new premium service called NBCFree: the Olympics without any contributions from NBC whatsoever.
For only $29.95 you can watch the Olympics with no spoilers, no maudlin “personal narratives,” and no promos for NBC’s new fall shows like that egregious one with the doctor and the monkey we show like every five minutes. And for $39.95, no Ryan Seacrest.
So contact your cable or satellite provider and order NBCFree today. And if you don’t? Well, all we can say is, we already know what other medals Missy has won, and we’re not afraid to tell you.
Sincerely,
NBC"