New Dad here--how do I get my kids to become (great) runners?

I ran to get away from my dad.

One of my sons was a very good high school and college runner, the other was a pretty good high school and college runner. I was a mediocre college runner and a pretty good masters runner. We let the kids to just about every kind of sports camp when they were young. They did swimming, soccer, tennis, basketball, volleyball, surfing and a couple of other things. I let them run with me when they wanted to run with me. They ended up gravitating to running on their own, and their competitiveness was internally generated, not the result of my or my wife's pushing them.

The best way is to give them lots of opportunities and let them make their own choices

old dad wrote:

One of my sons was a very good high school and college runner, the other was a pretty good high school and college runner. I was a mediocre college runner and a pretty good masters runner. We let the kids to just about every kind of sports camp when they were young. They did swimming, soccer, tennis, basketball, volleyball, surfing and a couple of other things. I let them run with me when they wanted to run with me. They ended up gravitating to running on their own, and their competitiveness was internally generated, not the result of my or my wife's pushing them.

The best way is to give them lots of opportunities and let them make their own choices

This. Above all, have them do many different (physical) activities when they're young, and avoid early specialization (in any particular sporting activity).

Because many schools have curtailed or eliminated recess and daily vigorous phys ed--and because the culture has moved away from kids' coming home from school and then going out to play for a couple of hours--you may have to deliberately set up play opportunities for them.

Moreover, daily vigorous large-muscle activity is important for all kids' mental/academic development--but especially boys'.

Genetics... if you got it, you will pass it along. It might skip a generation. Were your parents athletes? What about the child's mother?

Make sure they fail with the opposite sex. They will run out their frustrations. Worked for me.

The best thing to do is keep them active, keep running yourself, and never push them into running.

My dad was a 4:23 miler in high school and a 1:50 guy in college, and he never pushed me into running, although I knew he loved it. I played football and basketball up until freshman year of high school when I joined the track team to get rid of a bit of extra flub, I ended up loving it and now I'm not half bad!

I've run 4:27 and 1:55 flat as a junior and I've got some D1 schools after me!

Let them know that your love for them is tied directly to their running. Sometime when you're in private with the younger kid, break down and tell him about how much it is hurting you that his big brother isn't a runner like his dad. End the conversation by smiling at him and saying "I'm glad I can trust that you'll never do that to me. You've always been the better son in a lot of ways, so I'm sure you'll be making me proud on the track!"

The younger kid will probably at least give track a try as a result. As soon as he starts, make it obvious that you're pleased with the younger kid and not the older one. Greet the younger son with a big smile and a "how was your day?" as soon as he walks in the door, but pretty much ignore the non-runner kid. Occasionally "forget" to set a spot at the dinner table for the non-runner. He'll get the message and start running. When he does, start treating him really well too.

As a lifelong running nut I naturally would be happy to have running kids. None of my 3 became runners even though 2 had potential. My 2 cents:

- If they are not interested in sports don't waste your time except to tout the importance of physical exercise.

- You soon know (say, by age 12)if they have the 'running bug' ie they'll be runners however good they are. No assistance needed. I was like that - no one pushed me into it.

- If they are generally athletic but are not that interested in running (most sporty kids) just encourage it for aerobic fitness. Maybe they will click but most do not long term. I've seen lots of resentful kids pushed by over-ambitious parents - even in running!

Be philosophical. I was a runner but if they prefer another sport go with their passion. I would have preferred to be good at something else.

You dont

Encourage the things they are good at and enjoy. That's it.

Lots of fulfilled people don't run. Lots of parents push their children away by wanting them to do or become something they don't care for.

Sir Octane wrote:

I was wondering from all of you--

What drove you to run?

What drove you to NOT run at an early age?

How can I get my boys to run?

How can I get my boys to not hate running (because dad likes it)?

Thanks,

St(oo)pid new dad

Until they show interest, it has to be HANDS OFF approach.

Both of my kids played soccer in kindergarten and 1st grade. My daughter actually scored a lot of goals because she was aggressive, but it was clear that soccer wasn't going to be her thing. My son would run around where the action was and never scored a goal. Both decided they didn't like it after 2 years.

My son from even age 2 would want to see how many times he could run from here to that tree or whatever. He always has liked it; he would see me go running, but he didn't know then that I ran in college or anything like that. My daughter didn't do any sports from 1st grade until the summer after 4th grade. Then she decided to do summer track. She couldn't run 400 meters without stopping then. I told her that I didn't mind if she never ran fast, but that if she wanted to do track that she had to run the distances they told her to run. She's now in high school and is a varsity cross country and track runner. Sometimes I can't believe it because she didn't really start to like running until 8th grade.

All this is a long way to say that you just have to let them find their way and that each kid is different. They might love it from the beginning or love it later, or they might never like it. They won't necessarily like stuff that you do. You can't make them either.

Once you find out that they DO like running (if they do) then jump in with both feet and support them as much as you can. I'm the head track coach and co-director of my son's summer track program as a result of this, but I would have stayed away had my kids not been interested in running.

chase them with a belt

Be an abusive drunk ... so that running 50 miles in a day, seems like a relatively pleasant thing to do. It worked for that crazy Gerry guy.

Let them explore and do whatever sports strike their fancy. When they are young, it is all about movement, learning to get along with teammates and fun. If they show interest in a particular area, just expose them to the sport....take them to games or meets, whatever it is.

And keep your own running experience out of it. Who cares what you did? It is about them. And you are not living your dreams through them, it is what they want to do. That is probably the hardest lesson of all. This is the time to be a parent, and be proud and stay in the background with your support.

momwhohas beenthere wrote:

And keep your own running experience out of it. Who cares what you did? It is about them. And you are not living your dreams through them, it is what they want to do. That is probably the hardest lesson of all. This is the time to be a parent, and be proud and stay in the background with your support.

I agree 100% with this sentiment. The ONLY problem with it is if you get a VERY competitive kid (I have a son who is that way) who wants to know all of your PRs so that he can go break them. If that's the case, you HAVE to tell them about your past. My son knows all of my high school PRs, and he has targeted them. As long as the KID is driving the wanting to know about your running history then fine; otherwise, a dad should keep his mouth shut.

Flagpole only tells them his PR's once he knows for a fact that they have $1000 of emergency money deposited into their account

Centro Sr discouraged his son from running and told him he wasn't tough enough.

I guess Centro Jr wanted to prove him wrong and turned that effort into a WC medal.

The old reverse psychiatry trick.

fwefwefwe wrote:

Flagpole only tells them his PR's once he knows for a fact that they have $1000 of emergency money deposited into their account

Good one brother.

Prove it or STFU wrote:

I ran to get away from my dad.

This is true.