Let's Run tell me: What qualities should a good running partner have?
Let's Run tell me: What qualities should a good running partner have?
About same speed
isn't dreadful to be around
Bonus points for:
Doesn't randomly push the pace
Has funny stories
Can control their bowels and bladder so you can run more than 30 minutes without stopping
Similar ability level and good conversation.
Runs at your side and doesn't try to always keep that "one step ahead" stride going. But is polite enough move ahead or behind if a bike is going to pass and advises when they are going to step ahead or behind.
Good conversation. Inspires your running and also life. Never bitches about the weather. Yes, you are there too and experiencing the same weather.
Someone who runs the same pace is wonderful, but not necessary. I've had great partners that ran 4:00 marathons and 2:30 also (I'm just under 3) A good partner that is slower than will use a little more effort to go a little bit faster that normal and the faster runner will go a little slower. That's the general rule. Or, if discussed, the faster one can just go the pace of the slower runner.
Sigh. These days I've been running by myself. I like running with myself but it's not the same.
Similar overall ability is nice, but it's also great when they're good at types of workouts that you're not - and vise versa.
I run with a guy who loves long tempos, which I'm not terribly strong at, so he pulls me along. But I help him with the faster/interval work. Synergy. Boom.
I also agree with the conversational, bladder/bowel control and 12 incher stuff...
I had always used to run alone. In the early summer of last year a female acquaintance, who also ran alone, wanted to start running with me. I reluctantly agreed to try one run. That started 9 months of pure hell. After the first run she began texting me non stop about my next run, where, when, how fast, etc. I was happy running alone but she was afraid to run anywhere but around a local college and a route near her gym. She was particularly interested in trail running, which I primarily do. Our schedules didn't match up very well and she expected me to run at times that were inconvenient for me and at places that were inconvenient as well, so she could have someone to run with. She tried to constantly make me feel guilty about how trail running helped her feel free and she couldn't do it on her own. She complained if I didn't want to do the course she did, if I wore headphones, or if I didn't do the pace she wanted. I kept telling her it was her choice to run with me or not. She would go off on me, then apologize and beg for another shot. When I told her I no longer wanted to run with her, she still kept texting me because she said I was her only running friend, and after 3 times telling her no more texts, it appears it has not stopped.
Long story even longer, one of the main qualities in a running partner is to find someone with a similar personality. Never try to became running partners with a needy person. Try to run with someone who has similar goals. If you are competetive, find someone who is competetive. If you run for fun and don't race, don't find someone who cares a lot about racing. I have ran with a coworker a few times and our runs were always kinda spontaneous as far as when, distance and pace goes. He never complained about anything eventhough I was more experienced than he is. It can be enjoyable with the right person, but also very miserable with the wrong one.
Most of these suggestions are great! Thanks! I definitely need someone who can "hold it" in the long run.
doubththevalidity sorry for your bad experience. i guess there are all types of runners out there. as runners, many tend to be the type A personality so maybe that contributed to it. did you let her know early on what exactly was bothering you ,what you liked & didn't like about your runs? Might have cut your time shorter or stopped the problem so you could enjoy running together. Maybe time & space will allow for reflection, change, & healing if you had some good mojo going? Experiences like that change people for the better most of the time. Most people learn from their mistakes. There are needy people out there that can drive you crazy, no doubt. I guess sometimes you don't know all the shit people are dealing with that cause them to act a certain way. Not excusing that behavior, just saying.
All this to say, I asked my original question because my running partner (turned friend) moved away recently. She was one of the few people that could pace with me but push me to go faster when I needed to. We had some awesome training seasons. But like with what was written above. We did have difference of opinions, too. One cost us several months of training apart because for awhile we couldn't stand each other. But in the end we resolved our differences and realized that we had to have some give & take. We starting running together again and I am a better runner for it. Wishing that work hadn't moved her to the other side of the country. Guess I have some vacation ideas now.
For now, I am working on finding a new running partner & wanted some feedback. I want to be the best I can be to that person. All you runners out there get this, I'm sure.
Type B personality.
Someone that makes makes you run slower than you should on distance run days, but someone that can hit the track and hold their own on repeat days.
doubtthevalidity wrote:
I had always used to run alone. In the early summer of last year a female acquaintance, who also ran alone, wanted to start running with me. I reluctantly agreed to try one run. That started 9 months of pure hell. After the first run she began texting me non stop about my next run, where, when, how fast, etc. I was happy running alone but she was afraid to run anywhere but around a local college and a route near her gym. She was particularly interested in trail running, which I primarily do. Our schedules didn't match up very well and she expected me to run at times that were inconvenient for me and at places that were inconvenient as well, so she could have someone to run with. She tried to constantly make me feel guilty about how trail running helped her feel free and she couldn't do it on her own. She complained if I didn't want to do the course she did, if I wore headphones, or if I didn't do the pace she wanted. I kept telling her it was her choice to run with me or not. She would go off on me, then apologize and beg for another shot. When I told her I no longer wanted to run with her, she still kept texting me because she said I was her only running friend, and after 3 times telling her no more texts, it appears it has not stopped.
Long story even longer, one of the main qualities in a running partner is to find someone with a similar personality. Never try to became running partners with a needy person. Try to run with someone who has similar goals. If you are competetive, find someone who is competetive. If you run for fun and don't race, don't find someone who cares a lot about racing. I have ran with a coworker a few times and our runs were always kinda spontaneous as far as when, distance and pace goes. He never complained about anything eventhough I was more experienced than he is. It can be enjoyable with the right person, but also very miserable with the wrong one.
Dude, women are just like that especially really driven ones. I have a running partner similar to that but in the end she pushes me to be faster & we enjoy the run. To be honest, wearing headphones while running with a partner seems rude...just saying. I guess compromise is key when scheduling when & where...sometimes that is frustrating. I guess you determine the worth by how much you're willing to put into it. I find my running partner invaluable. Gotta take the good with the bad I suppose. I found out how to better communicate too so nothing gets out of hand.
Anyone who needs a running partner is mentally weak and insecure.
doubtthevalidity wrote:
I had always used to run alone. In the early summer of last year a female acquaintance, who also ran alone, wanted to start running with me. I reluctantly agreed to try one run. That started 9 months of pure hell. After the first run she began texting me non stop about my next run, where, when, how fast, etc. I was happy running alone but she was afraid to run anywhere but around a local college and a route near her gym. She was particularly interested in trail running, which I primarily do. Our schedules didn't match up very well and she expected me to run at times that were inconvenient for me and at places that were inconvenient as well, so she could have someone to run with. She tried to constantly make me feel guilty about how trail running helped her feel free and she couldn't do it on her own. She complained if I didn't want to do the course she did, if I wore headphones, or if I didn't do the pace she wanted. I kept telling her it was her choice to run with me or not. She would go off on me, then apologize and beg for another shot. When I told her I no longer wanted to run with her, she still kept texting me because she said I was her only running friend, and after 3 times telling her no more texts, it appears it has not stopped.
Long story even longer, one of the main qualities in a running partner is to find someone with a similar personality. Never try to became running partners with a needy person. Try to run with someone who has similar goals. If you are competetive, find someone who is competetive. If you run for fun and don't race, don't find someone who cares a lot about racing. I have ran with a coworker a few times and our runs were always kinda spontaneous as far as when, distance and pace goes. He never complained about anything eventhough I was more experienced than he is. It can be enjoyable with the right person, but also very miserable with the wrong one.
Sounds like someone in need of a friend. Some of my best friendships have been formed through running. Spontanaety (sp?) is ideal for running but not always practical. I enjoy the accountability of my weekly run with my partners. I guess if one person always calls the shots then its not fun. Didn't she ever try to meet you halfway? Was every run drudgery? I've run sometimes with my partner when they are pissed off. Pisses me off to, but usually its only once in awhile & I get over it.
perspective wrote:
Pisses me off to, but usually its only once in awhile & I get over it.
too, not to.
Now I'm pissed off.
agrees with everything I say, runs beside me at my pace and deals with anyone who gets in our way. Having 4 legs also helps.
runrunbaby wrote:
For now, I am working on finding a new running partner & wanted some feedback. I want to be the best I can be to that person. All you runners out there get this, I'm sure.
I'm sure you'll be a great running partner! Hope you find the right match. I definitely think that just by your asking the question shows that you are a good running partner. I like to think that I am a good running partner. I always think of what I am offering the other person, not just what I am getting out of it. It is a give and take, but it always equals out in some way. Not to be cheesy but sometimes the friendships made are worth more than the workout. Good luck!
runner funner wrote:
perspective wrote:Pisses me off to, but usually its only once in awhile & I get over it.
too, not to.
Now I'm pissed off.
Shit, don't run with a nit picker like this. That will drive you crazy. Who made you the grammar police?
perspective wrote:
doubtthevalidity wrote:I had always used to run alone. In the early summer of last year a female acquaintance, who also ran alone, wanted to start running with me. I reluctantly agreed to try one run. That started 9 months of pure hell. After the first run she began texting me non stop about my next run, where, when, how fast, etc. I was happy running alone but she was afraid to run anywhere but around a local college and a route near her gym. She was particularly interested in trail running, which I primarily do. Our schedules didn't match up very well and she expected me to run at times that were inconvenient for me and at places that were inconvenient as well, so she could have someone to run with. She tried to constantly make me feel guilty about how trail running helped her feel free and she couldn't do it on her own. She complained if I didn't want to do the course she did, if I wore headphones, or if I didn't do the pace she wanted. I kept telling her it was her choice to run with me or not. She would go off on me, then apologize and beg for another shot. When I told her I no longer wanted to run with her, she still kept texting me because she said I was her only running friend, and after 3 times telling her no more texts, it appears it has not stopped.
Long story even longer, one of the main qualities in a running partner is to find someone with a similar personality. Never try to became running partners with a needy person. Try to run with someone who has similar goals. If you are competetive, find someone who is competetive. If you run for fun and don't race, don't find someone who cares a lot about racing. I have ran with a coworker a few times and our runs were always kinda spontaneous as far as when, distance and pace goes. He never complained about anything eventhough I was more experienced than he is. It can be enjoyable with the right person, but also very miserable with the wrong one.
Sounds like someone in need of a friend. Some of my best friendships have been formed through running. Spontanaety (sp?) is ideal for running but not always practical. I enjoy the accountability of my weekly run with my partners. I guess if one person always calls the shots then its not fun. Didn't she ever try to meet you halfway? Was every run drudgery? I've run sometimes with my partner when they are pissed off. Pisses me off to, but usually its only once in awhile & I get over it.
Oh, she was most definately in need of a friend, but was always talking bad about herself and how everyone that was supposed to be her fried ignored her and didn't take time for her. She expects people to disappoint her, and she pushes until they do. Near every run was drudgery. I was inflexible because I didn't want to run with her yet she did her best to may me feel guilty if I didn't want to run with her, often getting confrontational. She knew the deal though...that I would rather run along but was trying to be nice so she would have other places to run that she otherwise wouldn't run on her own. Anyway, all that is off point. I guess I was trying to just say from the beginning that you need to find someone that doesn't solely rely on you to get their runs in.
big boobs, tight butt and mute
Depends on what your purpose for having one is. A good running partner should be motivating & inspiring. Don't you want some one to push you on to greatness? It's nice to know someone is counting on you & keeping you accountable. And, of course, someone who cares about your accomplishments...
You should be the same for them I would imagine.
I was advised a long time ago to always run with someone who you can put between yourself and the angry dog chasing you.
Recently, out with two friends running through the countryside, I was dragging a few steps behind as usual, and suddenly realized, I was the dog food.
hahahaha...When you find someone that's willing to run at the drop of a hat, where YOU want, how fast YOU want, how far YOU want etc. on a regular basis (?) let me know....I want their number!! Running with someone else is definitely give & take. Otherwise, stick to your Plan A and run alone. It will be much less frustrating.